Have i done the right thing.....

[miss_dyme]

Right now im so confused....basically ive told someone that i really love so much that im goin to back off and leave him alone...I didnt want to but i didnt know wat else to do,i felt i was in a no win situation...

 

We have known eachother 4 nearly three years ..known each other 4 two but casually seein eachother 4 one..

These dayz over the last month ive been makin all the efforts to call him txt him,literally ill only call once a week ..most times he answers an we chat but then he will say ill call u bk and doesnt...theres just simply no effort from him...

Tday i tried to call an it jus rang,i tried an hour later an it wase ngaged so i tried again...literally 20mins after and it jus rang...like he knew it was me but didnt want to answer...

 

Its as if he wants us to just fizzle out,he says he still has feelins but if he did woulld he really treat me like this..i feel like he doesnt...

 

I feel he just feels bad to actually come to me an tell me that he dont want nuthin to do wit me nomore...i txt him this and said that im goin to back off...leave the ball in his court..

 

Was it wrong to send that txt would he see that txt as me just lookin to get attention?..

i forgot to mention he is scared of commitment as he was cheated on by his ex 3 times...

 

Im so confused...

[may222]

u know what u need to do is back off and see if he comes running back to u a guy who loves a girl regradless the break and everything will do anything for his girl....if he calls u or e-mails u or anything in the next while after u avoid him then its real..I am trying to do that to my bf testing him to see when he says he loves me if he means it and i just did it and he said he loves me and I never told him that i was going to back off it just happens in relationships...things like this honestly it deals a lot with trust without trust its going to be so hard to do anything.....

 

may

[AB38]

RED ALERT!! You will have to approach this very gently. I had 2 girls cheat on me and took a long time to be able to trust again, I am still having trust and comittment issues.

 

Let him be. Dont Text him and tell him you are backing off, just do it. He will notice. Be his friend right now, be non-threatening. If something happens between you two, he will be the one to initiate it. Let him gain your trust.

 

But ask yourself, do you want to be with a commitment phobe? Are you willing to understand that he might freak out every now and then? My current girlfriend understands my past, and that's what makes her so wonderful.

 

Always keep in mind that his heart has been broken 3 times.

[miss_dyme]

Hi may thanx 4 ur reply..

This has happened b4..i txt him and wished him goodluck etc and told him i loved him...i felt so worthless an unaapreciated..

 

He tried to call me that nite but i didnt answer..i thought id let him do the chasin..but the next mornin i felt bad and childish coz i dnt wanna play games..

Still we worked it out and he came online we chatted and then he calld etc..its jus this month...i feel like my efforts just arnt appreciated nomore..

 

Another incident, last week we ewre supppse to get together ..he had fam over from jamaica..but he told me he would ring me to let me kno wen he was comin to get me...he didnt bother...i txt him to atleast let me kno if he couldnt make it ...but he didnt...i was so hurt..where is the consideration

[may222]

hey no prob........

 

but guys tend to forget....that is a big problem with them they either cant express there feelings or say the turth about anything.....they just like to hide behind the fact

 

-may

[miss_dyme]

THANX ab38..

Over xmas he told me he couldnt have a full on relationship because he was scared ...so i understood this...i love him that much ,that i will b there for him ..and back off...hence me callin ot too often..etc..i feel even to wait 4 him,to sho him that i could never hurt him...

 

We had an understanding that he wanted to spend time with me etc we call eachother ..it was goin good u kno we knew where we stood...but now ..it just seems he really wants rid of me ..i kno he dnt wanna hurt me,and i think thats why mayb all this lack of communicating is workin to his advantage..mayb he wants out of having to do the 'dirty work 'and endin even our friendship...

 

He is busy and embarkin on a music career,which i fully support...i jus dnt think he has consideration for my feelins at all...ive given him space beyond all means,..I sent him the txt that im gonna bk off even more(make jus about as much effort as he is)....i wish i didnt now tho..i shoulda jus left it

 

i cant do nuthin else

[miss_dyme]

He came online (he very rarely will comeonline coz he so busy)..still he came onto talk to me...

Does this mean he does really care..,or do u think he felt bad about the txt i sent him..

He didnt really stay on for long about 20mins he didnt really say anythin,i think showin his self online is what he calls effort..hmm i dunno...Shall i still back off and let him put some effort in..

I really wanna call him,but i dont wanna seem needy