The healing process

[dillydilly]

I been broken up with my ex for 2 1/2 months now. He is still on my mind each and everyday. I cant seem to shack it off! I been trying to stay busy focusing my mind on other stuff like going to the gym, taking excercise classes, even trying p90x and traveling when I get a chance. We had NC for 6 weeks until recently. He emailed and said he loved me with all his heart and that he really misses me. I didnt know what to say.. but acouple of days later I emailed him back and said 'I do too as well'. Now my mind and heart are feeling weired and confused.

 

What should I do..

[SadAndy]

i had exactly the same thing with my ex after about 5 weeks. She texted me many times saying she hated herself for cheating on me and the new guy was great 'but he isn't you' etc.

 

Like an idiot, i fell for it thinking I was unique and she really did miss me. It was the first time either of us had ever broken up and I genuinely thought that she did miss me.

She dumped the new guy and then had a change of heart the next day when she realised that she missed him and then said that she didn't know which one she wanted an would decide!

Anyway, she chose him (I knew she would, don't really think there was much of an issue honestly) and she is now happily loved up with him 4 weeks on.

 

The point of my post (if any, LOL) is that there seems to be a recurring theme with ex's that have done the dumping having a 'wobble' around the 6 week stage. Like I said, i thought I was special to her etc and it was legitimate but knowing what I now know, it seems par for the course of breaking up!

[CatsMeeoow]

Ouch... I know its tough... it took me more than a couple of years to really move beyond one relationship so just remind yourself that 2 1/2 months is really not a lot of time.

 

Your ex could very well be feeling the same confusing thoughts you are which is why he sent the message. Honestly though you don't know what he is feeling or thinking. Perhaps he just had a bad day and had no one else to reach out to so he let it fall to you just wondering if you were still waiting around for him. Now that he feels better and you've let him know you are just a text away he may not reach out again for awhile. Or it is possible he was testing the waters for a come back... thing is no one knows.

 

I think if I were you - and I know this is hard is that I would establish boundries. Next time he texts let him know you care and do think of him but you would prefer he leave you alone unless he wants to fix things. Its a big step on your part and a scary one but it protects you in the future from something vague like this tearing you apart again.

 

Hugs!

[Kraegorn]

how long were you with him? I remember the time I brokeup with my first gf... it took over 2 years to get completely over her. At the time, I was severly depressed, and never went through anything that painful before. Eventually time heals. How you feel and how you think may contradict one another. As far as long-term goals are concerned, the mind usually knows what it wants, and it's only a matter of time before the heart catches up to it's counterpart.