lost...just lost

[WhyMe]

Why am i so miserable? I was born alone and, i guess, that i am destined to die alone. I am more than deserving of loce, but still, i receive none. Somehow, people like me, people that have never known happiness or safety or love will never know it and only receive loneliness as recompense. Yet, someone who has lived a life of pure happiness, never aware of the stinging pain of anguish or the cold dagger of loneliness - receives love that he does not deserve. Why must I go unloved and utterly alone? Why does god let this happen? angst and misery are my only companions. no girl has ever expressed any feeling of love or even feel the least bit attracted to me. what is wrong with me? Im good looking and not a jerk or anything, so why am i always alone? whilst all the othere guys my age - im 15 by the way - have already found someone who cares about them, i have not, and i am sure that i may never find her. The sorrow that i feel is becoming a void that is engulfing my heart and devouring my soul. I will be lost forever soon, i can feel il constricting the life from me as i write this. the pain never goes away. never. it is a burden that no one should bear. i do not wish it on my worst enemies. i do not want to die unloved and unmourned, it is my greatest fear. i also dont want to live like this anymore. i simply cannot go on living like this : alone, unloved, miserable, lonely, unwanted, and unhappy. Sadly, i fear that i have no control over this, its in fates hands. i know that fate will have me destroyed. fate has been cruel to me, made me who i am today.

[frackledJJ]

Hi WhyMe.

First of all: You are a poet! Sorry to say it, but what you write is simply a little over what other fifteen-year-olds would write. Now, You are definitely a very emotional person. And - excuse me- you are 15! What the hell do you think should have happened in the last three years? The love of your live should have knocked on your doorstep and never ever leave you again? Wake up. If you talk the same way you write, the girls will giggle, roll their eyes, turn around, think to themselves: What a jerk! Cute, but definitely a jerk. Ok, and where is a cute guy who can drive a car?

Teenage girls are not really into deep conversation and stuff. Be yourself and be someone. Have your own opinion and don't change it every five minutes. TZry out what the girls want to talk about. And did anyone ever tell you that girls might be shy as well? Go out and meet people or try to get a job where you meet a lot of people your age. Be open! Be happy and funny. Take a deep breath and think to yourself: There is going to be a girl who loves me the way I am.

And that's it. Nothing more, nothing less. Who knows, might be you already are someones secret dream!

[simulacra]

Being fifteen and feeling alone and like you'll never be loved is pretty common, I think. That period was a difficult transition for me too. You're just beginning to realize who you are yourself, don't expect it to be an easy process for others to see you for who you really are as well. Not having a girlfriend at this point in your life may seem like a dire situation for you right now, but it is not very likely that people find the love of their lives at such an age anyway. Yes, you may have a special companion with whom you can share yourself with (feelings, thoughts, activities, etc) but you can do that with a close friend as well (non-intimate relationship).

 

Oftentimes the things that elude us seem so much greater than what they really are. We often desire what we do not have. But you should realize that it may be in your best interest to wait for things to happen naturally -- that is, when you are meant to experience them -- because relationships, although great learning experiences, can be very trying as well. And maybe you don't need that right now. Why get yourself in situations where you could get hurt? It is bound to happen if you start relationships for the wrong reasons (ie. out of loneliness and whatnot).

 

I think you shouldn't worry about people not noticing you and feeling lonely. When the right time comes, there will be people who can appreciate you and that will be the right time to think about wanting to share yourself with that person.

[bleeder]

Hi WhyMe,

 

My heart goes out to you. You sound very much like the way Bleeder was about 16 years ago.

 

I have progressed through the different stages of solitude. At first, I found myself alone, filled with ideas about the world no one could conform to. Everything else was just bleeding around me. I was in despair and I did not know how to proceed with life.

 

After some hard knocks in life, I slowly understood certain things. I found out that no one else in this world is gonna try to make you happy 24/7. No one is gonna be there for you if you fall. One person you can only rely on is YOURSELF. Yes, that good ol' you which no one can touch.

 

So I brushed up on my self esteem and confidence. I swallowed bitter pills only to reap a bigger harvest in the end. Today, I am alone again. But not an unhappy one. I want to show the world what this Bleeder is capable of.....I ain't no put me down.

 

You can learn to be strong too, WhyMe. Do not worry about dying unloved. Keep on loving with your heart, although many a times it is not reciprocrated the way we want it to be. I will leave you with these words I came up with years ago....

 

"In Life We Love, In Love We Live"

 

Be strong now.