Value of Virginity (Male)

[Is]

I am 19 almost 20 in college. I have tons of friends who had sex partners and girlfriends, but I have girlfriends, I have never had sex before. My friends talk about sex A LOT and bash on virgins.

 

Well I am a virgin, but I am kind of scared that at my age I never got laid yet.

 

What are your thoughts on male virginity and tips.

[Go Habs Go]

You'll be fine as long as you don't promote it. Don't give up your beliefs and values because a few shallow ones dumped you because of virginity. While most want experience over virginity, you'll find plenty that aren't shallow and won't care about your sexual experience. Remember, sex is only a small part of a relationship.

[Is]

You'll be fine as long as you don't promote it. Don't give up your beliefs and values because a few shallow ones dumped you because of virginity. While most want experience over virginity, you'll find plenty that aren't shallow and won't care about your sexual experience. Remember, sex is only a small part of a relationship.

 

Which would you prefer? The shallow ones or the other ones?

[Go Habs Go]

Which would you prefer? The shallow ones or the other ones?

 

 

I don't want shallow significant others at all. I would choose the virgin over the one that slept with 10 people.

[Is]

I don't want shallow significant others at all. I would choose the virgin over the one that slept with 10 people.

 

Thanks for the support, it really helps. There been times, but I am always scared. Stds and Babies make me cringe like no tomorrow.

[Go Habs Go]

Thanks for the support, it really helps. There been times, but I am always scared. Stds and Babies make me cringe like no tomorrow.

 

 

I don't blame you, but seriously, just don't promote your virginity. There's plenty of virgins that feel the need to brag about their values. When it happens for you, it'll happen. You're no where near 40, you have nothing to worry about.

[Jpo]

I'm curious, what is your opinion on your virginity?

 

Do you value it? I mean, do you want to lose it with the person you are married to? Do you want to lose it with a person that you love? Do you want to lose it period, with anyone?

 

You said in your OP that you have girlfriends, well certainly at least one of them wanted to have sex with you, why didn't you? If your person values, be it religious or what have you keeps you from having sex, then I wouldn't worry about what other people think, most people will respect you for standing up for what you believe. (Like the other poster said, I wouldn't advertise it though.)

[GoneCrazy]

I'm 21 and still have my V-card and it sucks. Anytime i'm around friends and they start talking about the girls they've been with i kinda walk away or try not to get involved with the dog. But you'll find someone and hopefully i will to. I know it seems like theres more persure for guys then girls.

[aireyc]

I think your friends' attitude toward this issue reflects on their immaturity. I've only succumbed to peer pressure a handful of times in my life, all on minor things, but every single time I've gotten screwed in some form or another. I now avoid it like the plague.

 

It is my belief that voluntary virginity is what separates us from other species (animals). Our ability to weigh the advantages/disadvantages of sex and follow our brains over our desires is what makes us awesome as humans. I respect human life more than anything in the world, and it would be entirely selfish on my part to bring life into this world without supporting that life through means I feel are best (with a spouse), and I'm certainly not going to favor the alternative should an *accident* occur. Plus you also mention STDs which is obviously another potential problem.

 

My advice is to just be the better person and not care what your friends say. Do what you think is best, not what they talk about all the time.

[Memphis81]

I'm also curious what your views are on virginity, and if you've had girlfriends why you never lost it.

 

Society puts too much emphasis on sex and on losing your virginity. Its ridiculous and waaaay overrated. Take my advice and wait until you are ready and screw what every one else says. Sex is amazing but only when its with the right person and when you are ready for it.

[Is]

I had my chances before with a few girlfriends in the past. I think I am not emotionally ready to take the risk of BABIES AND STDS. I think I am just afraid that I would screw up. I am too young to have babies or have AIDS.

 

I am that kind of guy who is an airhead from time to time.

[Vince99]

I had my chances before with a few girlfriends in the past. I think I am not emotionally ready to take the risk of BABIES AND STDS. I think I am just afraid that I would screw up. I am too young to have babies or have AIDS.

 

You're never old enough to have aids.

[Is]

You're never old enough to have aids.

 

Just scared to take risks, I think that is my real reason. Risks this big influences the rest of my life.

[sweetharmony]

i agree. there is too much casual sex out there. There is no need to rush, when the time is right to lose your virginity it will happen. When you trust someone and care about them and you both agree to get tested (because you can openly share the info).

 

Sex is overrated and if you feel you want to wait, trust me there are many girls who will feel glad you did and not think you are strange. I dated two men who were virgins before and several with small history. I respected them more than the one I'm dating now with 60 notches in his bedpost. You don't have to wait til you're 30 or something to lose it, but wait til the right girl comes along.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Just scared to take risks, I think that is my real reason. Risks this big influences the rest of my life.

 

My boyfriend was more terrified of me getting pregnant than I was. Ha. He got over it once we were double protected. I ended up waiting for him though.

 

As for STD's, if you do it right, and your partner doesn't cheat on you...it's nearly impossible to get an STD. Get a monogamous partner, both get tested for everything (you have to indicate to your doctor that you want HSV tested) 3 months after either of you has last had sex, and stay protected.

 

Honestly, sex isn't that big of a deal. But it sounds like you are keeping your virginity out of fear and not because you truly want to.

[Jpo]

It is my belief that voluntary virginity is what separates us from other species (animals). Our ability to weigh the advantages/disadvantages of sex and follow our brains over our desires is what makes us awesome as humans. I respect human life more than anything in the world, and it would be entirely selfish on my part to bring life into this world without supporting that life through means I feel are best (with a spouse), and I'm certainly not going to favor the alternative should an *accident* occur. Plus you also mention STDs which is obviously another potential problem.

 

What exactly do you mean by the bolded? Are you saying that voluntary virginity is the only thing that separates us from animals?

 

Because it is actually your second sentence that separates us from animals and the bolded is one of many possible results of that. I don't really see why the bolded is relevant honestly. Regardless of whether or not we can choose to be virgins, that sheds no light on the value of virginity.

 

Frankly the value of virginity is determined on an individual level, but if you were to take an aggregate of people in the USA, it would probably be relatively low. Making the OP "different". Whether that is good or bad is completely up to whoever is viewing it.

 

I just think your bolded comment is kind of a non-sequitur. Just because we have the ability to choose virginity, does not in it self give it value. (Assuming that was your purpose when you posted it. Otherwise, I'm not sure why you did.)

[Jake]

I'm a virgin by choice (20 years old) and I prefer to keep my sex life to myself, same as anybody else really. I consider it a common courtesy because sharing details about things is not always caring...

 

Most male work colleagues I've worked with tend to share "details" rather soon and in return they've asked me outright if I'm a virgin. I've answered honestly in return and most often the advice I get is typical of what you'd expect on how to lose ones virginity. Sometimes I wonder if I should just lie so I can spare them the confusement as I've tried to explain and some STILL don't get my reasoning.

 

Personally I'd understand if a good friend wanted to know but I find it odd how some men I've met can openly discus things, when I've only been on the job for 2 weeks and we're acquaintances at best? That I'll never understand.

 

 

I''S I would suggest you go by what your opinion is and what you feel is right for you and just ignore what others say. Don't mean to make your friends sound immature but I get the impression they're subconsciously bragging to each other or competing in some way.

[surfNski]

I am going against the grain on this one. I am not a fan of the fear culture that is prevailing in american society today. Virginity isnt that big of a deal unless you only date other virgins or have some religious views that make you feel guilty. I know I would definitley not want to date a virgin or worse marry one. Sex is a very important part of a relationship and if someone is boring or confused in bed then to me thats a big red flag. To each there own, and do what ever you feel comfortable with but rememebr not everybody shares the same views of virginity being some all important thing in ones life.

[itsallgrand]

When I was 20, and dating guys close to my age, virginity was a plus in my books. It sure wouldn't have taken away interest that was there to start.

 

My thoughts on the value of male virginity? Well I'm not one to place a lot of value on virginity - for men or women - but there is something to be said for being cautious and not having your first experience be an awful one.

 

I remember watching friends of mine rushing out to lose their virginity in their teens, mostly drunken and silly episodes, but some were worse for the wear.

 

I think the first sexual experience can be powerful, and transitional in a way - so it makes sense to not be a fool about it if it can be helped.

 

It's really all up to you. What do you want it to be.

[biddo]

hey real talk getting laid should be the least of your worries, try working hard at college, get a good job , save money buy some investments and get a head start in life. 19 going on 20 your still a teen enjoy your life dont let other people dictate your life. Friends come and go and thier opinions shouldn't matter, only you know whats good for you.

[Green Mile]

I'm a 25 year old virgin, nobody knows because I never talk about it and if I've ever been asked I've lied and said I lost it in my teenage years at a party.

 

I dislike being a virgin because I feel it holds me back when it comes to dating or even approaching girls as I feel like I have a huge neon "VIRGIN" sign over my head, and even if I did get lucky and ended up with the prospect of sex with a girl I'd then worry a) should I tell her I'm a virgin? and b) will she be disappointed and reject me and c) if I don't tell her will she be able to tell and then be mad?

 

I don't believe in no sex before marriage or waiting until it's someone you really love. It would be a lot better for me if it was somebody I loved as hopefully they'd feel similar and not judge me, but the chances of that are a lot smaller than just picking someone up at a bar and having a one night stand. At least then I'd have it out of my system.

[biddo]

a) should I tell her I'm a virgin? and b) will she be disappointed and reject me and c) if I don't tell her will she be able to tell and then be mad?

 

If she rejects you because you are a virgin then she is not worth your time. Virginity should be upheld higher, and if you waited this long till you are 25 then you can wait until you are married.

[mushmouth]

Ahhh, don't sweat getting laid. Trust me, some people go down the path of sleeping with anyone they can sleep with only to regret it. Do what's right for you and your partner.

 

Mike Tyson said (early in his career, mind you) the greatest thing was going years without getting laid and then getting laid.

[LightbulbSun]

Virginity doesn't matter. I'm a virgin, and I'm waiting for the right person.

 

Sex means nothing without love. Don't be in a hurry to lose it, it will happen eventually.