over 1 year and I still miss him...

[exback]

February 2009 my boyfriend of 4 YEARS and me (both first girl/boyfriend relationship, I am 23 he is 26) got "again" into a totally stupid fight (about the car) and both of us said nasty things to each other. This time he must have decided "it's enough" for him and he stopped talking to me and sent my all my stuff via mail. I tried to apologize for my mistakes, the things I said and so on for 6 weeks but he didn't talk or react to me, not once - not at all. Tried to call him 6 months later but his mobile was off and he didn't call back. So we haven't been in contact for over a year. I was hopping he would call some day but he didn't - he ignored my birthday and so on. I don't know what else I should have done - it was one of our "stupid fights" and I never cheated or lied to him or anything like that at all...Why can't he forgive me for nagging, why is he SOOO angry and what can I do - I miss him so much...I always did...but I guess he doesn't miss me at all since he could have contacted me!

[DN]

Perhaps because it was one fight too many and it was the one that made him realise the relationship wasn't working for him and never would. I understand that may be hard to hear but it does seem likely.

[exback]

I guess that's it. He was so angry at me at that time and I guess it was not just about THAT fight but about me and the relationship...

 

Do you think there is a way to convince him to change his mind - I guess he would ignore my attempts even one year later all over again, right!?

 

And it does not feel right for me that I would have to "convince" him to be with me...

[redherring]

You can't convince people of anything really.... if you miss him this much still maybe you could get in contact with him?

[exback]

I don't know how. Maybe he got me on his "IGNORE-LIST" with his mobile and as "SPAM" with email and so on. It is been over a year now, I don't even know his new mobile phone number or whether or not he has a new one. And moreover I am afraid what my friends and family and so on might say that I am once again trying to get him back as I did one year ago!!!! And what am I supposed to say to him or write him a letter...what should I do!?

[DN]

Write him a letter and say that you often think with regret about how you broke up and, if he would like to, you would like to meet and talk.

[redherring]

Forget what your friends and family might think, this is about you and what you think and what you feel.

 

If I was in your position I would try to meet him in person- so much gets lost through other kinds of communication. Is there any way you could get his new number (if he has one) off a friend? OR maybe facebook, that thing can come in handy sometimes.

[exback]

Yes we do have common friends but they don't want to get in between and till today they don't talk about him while they are with me and the other way round...If I ask something I don't get an answer, they prefer to stay out of this. If he would have a new number and they would give it to me he would know and would be angry I guess - so even if I would ask them, they wouldn't tell me I guess...

Of course I know "where" I could meet him but he would know that it was on purpose and once again get angry at me that I forced him to see me against his wish..

So I guess writing a letter would be the best way..

 

You are right! I shouldn't think about what others might say...

[redherring]

I don't think there is any harm in asking, but if you're really worried could you not email him on facebook or something? Or as DN suggested, a letter. You could put a letter through his door asking to meet up and talk things through?

[exback]

The letter seems to be the best idea.. I reconsider this the next days but I guess I will write him a short letter telling him what you guys said. THANK YOU for your help!!!!

[redherring]

Yeah, if its been a year theres no harm on sitting on the idea for a few more days to make sure its what you really want.

 

I hope things work out for you, let us know what happens! xx

[natureleddy]

Im in a similar situation. One year, on the 28th of this month. Im shocked, both at how quickly the last year has passed, and how I keep fooling myself into thinking im ok, when really, im in as big a mess as I was when it happened. I only know how to hide it from everybody.

 

I dont know what I'd do if I were you. I know, personally, that I have been so unbelievably close to sending a message to her when im drunk. Or even sober, if im being honest. She knows everything about me; my secrets, my desires, my dreams...everything. But she also left me. And she broke my heart in ways I never thought humanly possible. Yet, she never done anything ''wrong''. She just left me because she didnt feel the same anymore.

 

One year on, and the first thing on my mind when I wake, and when I go to sleep, is contacting her.

 

If she wants me, she'll find a way of getting in touch. I may live in Paris now, but she knows how to get to me. As painful as it is, I resist every urge in my body telling me to contact her, purely because I know that suffering even more rejection from her might just tip me over the edge.

 

But....that's just me. Think with both your heart, and your mind. Do what you feel is right. It sure as hell aint easy. Then again, when it comes to love, what is....

[exback]

@RotorGoat...that is EXACTLY what I feel and the way I acted the last year... Every sentence - good and sad to know that I am not the only one out there!!!