Update- Met up with EX

[GTP]

 

 

In this thread I was not sure if I was yet going to meet up with my EX or not because she didn't think it was a good idea. We dated about 1 year all LDR but knew each other when she lived in the same city as me. We talked everyday for 5 solid months and for like 12hrs a day. We were mostly NC for 2 months. Anyways, she called me the day before I asked her to meet up and hang out!! Here is to give a background to see what you all think.

 

We meet up and things were not exactly like they used to be because of all the stresses of everything that has happened between us. Her parents who were kind of mad at me didn't say a lot and were stand-offish. She gets in the car and we are joking around. Because of spending a lot of money visiting her we never went out to dinner much because I spent more money going to see her so I took her to a nice dinner in Little Italy in San Diego. We had a good time, great conversation, and some good flirting. I caught her doing some things like we were in a relationship but then catching herself and pulling away.

 

After dinner we went back to where they were staying (bro's apt) and talked with her family for a few hours and her parents were back to loving me again. They told her she should invite me to Mexico City where they live again soon. She invited me there later where we decided over Memorial day would be best. I helped her mom with things, BS's with her Dad, and met her Aunt from Guatemala. Her parents told her that I was the most favorite guys she has ever been with before all of our issues came out. She thinks the greatest of what her parents think too so she was feeling a lot closer to me than even before. I catch her wanting to hold my hand, grab onto me like she used to, etc We then go out to meet some of my friends and I wait as she gets ready. She is doing things to please me like wearing her hair the way I like it, my favorite clothes on her, etc and always looking for approval from me.

 

Once we get back from the bar we sat in the car and talked. She asked me why I wanted to see her after everything that happened between us. I didn't want to get into serious talk yet but after her prying we had an all out relationship talk. She cried, I cried the whole bit. I told her that there wasn't a day that has went by that I haven't thought about her, wanted to see her or talk to her and she said the same. She said she loves me more than anything and wants to be with me but everything is just so hard with everything that has happened between us, the distance, and not knowing what she wants to do with her life in the future. We ended up hugging and kissing. When I let go of the hug she didn't let go and held it long enough to where I started hugging her again as tears came to her eyes in my shoulder. Gave her one last kiss goodnight and called it a night. She invited me to come over and hang out with her and her family for the whole day again and that her parents really wanted me to come too.

 

Next day comes by and her mom makes us breakfast, we bum around San Diego and go to Ikea because they are remodeling their house. We go have a coffee and we start talking again. She says she loves me, wants to be with me, but doesn't want to give me the wrong idea. She has a lot of things she wants to do and doesn't have the time for a anyone right now. She wants to just be friends. We talk some more and then meet up with her parents. Things got kind of awkward but then the flirting started happening again. We go to a casino with her family and she starts asking me if I have been dating, wanting to hear my dating stories, if I have kissed anyone else, if I had done anything with anyone else, etc I told her the truth that I had went out with a few different girls but only kissed one. She seems a little bothered by it but I don't want to lie because that is some of our issues is lying on her part and I would be no better if I lied to her. Someone always finds out.

 

On the way home we are flirting in the car, and I put my hand on her leg like I always used to do. She looked at me and said we cannot. I stopped and she got closer to me....we started talking again and I did it again and she was ok with it for like 20min....she said we can't be affectionate like that together....then later moved closer. In the car she asked me if I could also stay Monday but I couldn't because of work. She then asked if I could come back the following weekend because she wanted to see me and spend time with me but not if it was a lot of money. Her parents were then asking if I could come back this weekend too. We got back to her house and were still hanging out with her parents and joking around and stuff. She has a bad knee and was icing it while her aunt sat next to her. I know her aunt could tell there was a connection between us so she let me sit next to her and left. (their family is VERY catholic & conservative so a lot of affection isn't ok unless your married) I started giving her a foot massage and calf massage and she told me we couldn't be affectionate again. I stopped and we talked for a bit and she started initiating a little touching. Next thing you know were kind of cuddling (enough to where if her parents woke up I could scram! LOL) We start kissing, we go into the kitchen and start messing around a little bit more because it was farther away.

 

After a few min of that we are on the couch doing the same thing until it was time for me to leave at 130am to drive back to the LA to get on my plane. She starts initiating holding hands, start doing all the things she knows I love like rubbing her hands through my hair, etc She then wakes her Mom up to say goodbye and she walks me down to my car. We get to the elevator and we stop it and start messing around in there for like 30-40min. We never get alone time with her family so it has to be done where it can. Once we decide its time for me to go we walk out and she gives me the line. "I don't want you to get your hopes up....I want to be with you and I love you like crazy....but I don't know if it can happen." We talk for a little bit more....give her a short goodbye kiss (short on her end) and tell her I love her and she tells me she loves me and I leave.

 

We also talked about me coming to Mexico City to see her at the end of May. I call her today after I booked my flight and she didn't sound excited like she once did. She said I shouldn't come to Mexico City then because they don't know if they are moving into their new house yet and where they will be living. Also, friends don't go see each other 3 times in 2-3 months. All of the signs she is giving me is that she wants to be in a relationship with me. I'm going to see her again this weekend and not sure how I should proceed. I plan on not talking to her until I get on my plane so she can miss me some before I see her. Thinking of just flirting with her like I always do and see where it leads but I know if she is not my GF by the time I leave it will be hard to ever have her that again because in distance it is so much easier. What should I do???

 

Thanks in advance and I apologize for the length but a lot happened in a 2 day span! lol

[DN]

I think she should either commit or not because right now it looks as if she is putting you in limbo by getting your hopes up but promising nothing. She will continue to do that if you let her.

[GTP]

So you think I should wait a day while I'm there and then talk to her about it??? I don't also want her to feel pressured cuz when people feel pressured they pull away so I'm not exactly sure how to go about this

[DN]

I would not say anything to her but decrease the amount of time you spend with her, downplay the affection and no touching.

[D-Bone]

I agree with DN. Play hard to get. She wants the affection but is playing games with you buy telling you no. She is still trying to hold the high card. Take the high card back and when you do gain control back you will win her back. Back off, dont show as much interest, cut down the amount of time to hang and do not be at her beckon call or request. She will most likely chase you but if she doesnt, than it was all a game but if she really loved you i think it will work out for you just fine if you play your cards right. Like DN said, dont pressure her or she will run!

[GTP]

The only issue with all of this is that I will be staying at her brothers house in san diego (I live in denver) and she is the reason why I am there and I won't have a car or anything so I'm pretty much stuck hanging out with her all of the time. I can not show the affection or interest but the problem is I get there on Friday night and leave Sunday night so its a short trip with not much time and issues with not being able to get away from her at all

[DN]

That's OK - be friendly and polite but don't make any overtures, gestures of affection and so on except you could give her a quick peck on the cheek. Treat her like a cousin.

[GTP]

I'm thinking it might be all over the place because of another guy. Just a suspicion. She blocked me from her walll and stuff when we broke up. I just checked her FB and her friend said something about wondering who she went to coffee with on the 22 with a heart.....then on the 12th she went to a city where she has been going a lot and the same friend wrote.....something makes me think you have a lover there!

 

She was asking me about girls I've dated and I didn't ask her anything but she told me that there is no one. Make me wonder if there is and that is why she is so hot/cold.

 

Either way I plan on playing it cool and just going with things. Not making moves like I did which made her hot and cold. I thought about even flirting with other girls a little bit to make it seem like I'm not interested as much anymore. OR I've even thought about having a talk if she brings it up about thinking she is right about us just being friends and see where that takes me.