bad idea?

[Hopeless1234]

this site has been of tremendous help for me in the past. having said that, i'm back for some third person perspective as i know that i'm not completely thinking clearly.

 

anyway, i noticed there are a lot of new names that i don't recognize so here's a "brief" synopsis of my story:

 

1. dated for about 1.5 years (knew each other for about 2 years)

 

2. broke up last late sept/early oct (luckily i'm forgetting slowly)

 

3. begged/pleaded till about dec (tried friends with benefits in the beginning, but then she said she felt "bad" about herself and stopped) and after receiving a "nasty" e-mail from her in late dec, decided i'm done. accepted a job out of state.

 

4. few days after e-mail, she calls me and tells me that she over reacted in the e-mail and wanted to hang out. i was out of town and told her i'd call her when i got back to town, but didn't.

 

5. early feb she calls wanting to have dinner. i hesitated, but decided to. dinner really went well. she said that she really lived up the single life and that it's out of her system. i told her that's nice, but it's really irrelevant. we talked again the next day over IM. she told me she missed hanging out with me (i.e. physical intimacy) and before i move out of state, wanted to just hang out and see how things go. i agreed. we decided to spend that weekend together.

 

6. she blows me off without a real reason.

 

7. calls me a few days later wanting to have dinner, and i let her have it and we fight for about 2 hours over the phone.

 

8. she calls me a few weeks later just wanting to chat.

 

9. moving out of my apt end of march and got in touch with her telling her that i'm hiring a moving company to move the furniture we shared while living together to her mom's place (it was her mom's stuff). i told her that i'd mail them a check and they can pay the movers.

 

10. couple days later she calls to tell me that if i had any manner, i'd drive up to her mom's with the movers and make sure the move goes well (her mom doesn't speak english well). i told her if we were dating, i would. but she broke with me, i owe her and her mom nothing. technically, i shouldn't even have to pay for the move. we fight again over the phone for 1.5 hours.

 

11. she calls me up a day later to tell me she'll stop by this past thursday to drop the apt keys off. asks me if i want to have dinner.

 

12. chatted with her when she came to drop keys off and asks me where i am living until i move if i vacate the apt now. i told her i'm not sure and she said i can either stay with her mom or i can stay at her current condo (i told her i could help with the rent if i do... i told her this AFTER she offered to let me stay at her place). i asked her where she'd stay and she said either at her mom's or with one of her girlfriends. BUT she wants to leave all her stuff in the condo so she'd like to be able to come and go as she please.

 

13. had dinner with her tonight and she came over to watch a movie at my place. nothing happened.

 

i'm not really reading anything into it, but can't quite figure out what's going on. even after the multiple fights after we broke up, she'd always be the one to reach out a few days later wanting to have dinner or whatever. from the conversation in #5, i thought she wanted to just hang out and "fool around" while i'm still in town (which i technically don't mind... i know i'm a pig)... but then she bails on me.

 

anyway, i obviously can't see things clearly. what i do know is that i need a place to stay for the next month or maybe more. most of my friends are married and are willing to let me crash on their couch for a few days, but a month is a bit extreme. found an extended stay motel, but it'd cost me about $1300/month.... whereas if i stayed at ex's condo and helped with the rent, i'm only out ~$500. is saving $800 worth the potential mess of staying at her condo? she said she'll stay at her mom's or her friend's...but really?....especially, if she wants to leave all her stuff behind (i.e. clothes). i also don't understand why she'd be willing to inconvenience herself and live somewhere else just so i have a place to sleep.

 

any comments/suggestions/advice would be appreciated.

[eggplant47]

Invest in your sanity and spend the $800.

[Celadon]

She's co-dependent and can't let go. Do the honorable thing and cut off contact with her. And yeah, that means shelling out the 1300 or staying at friends' for a few days at a time and rotating among them for a month. Or maybe a few weeks and the rest at a motel.

[catfeeder]

People find other roommates all the time. She's not your only option, unless you want to remain stuck on your misery-go-round.