Age gap

[ITGirl73]

I am 37 years old and I have always dated older guys.

I became very friendly with a 28 year old guy at work and we always got on great, lovely chats and I thought nothing of it. I noticed that he used to get really shy on work nights out and he would blush when I would walk in so I would stay with my female work mates and leave him with other staff of his own age just in case if he was teased about chatting to me.

Last Christmas party same thing happened and I noticed that a friend of his nudged him encouraging him to come over to talk to me, again we had a lovely chat, he put his arm around me at one point and it was then that I did start to wonder.

 

However since then he has been acting strange, sometimes we chat away other times he seems awkward around me.

I decide to keep away and give him space but if I do that for a few days then he starts to email me, pop over messages on my pc, texts me etc so now I am confused.

 

I know he did find out how old I was, we have to bring in cakes to work for our birthdays, someone asked how old I was and I make no secret of my age, do you think that yes he was interested and now the age difference has put him off. I have never thought of dating anyone younger but he is very mature for his age and to be honest I love our chats and we do have a lot in common. I would never ask anyone out ever, how can I handle this situation when he will not allow me to put space between us?

 

I am assuming that he will never ask me out.

[Capricorn3]

He does sound interested, but I think he's also shy and not sure how to handle the situation. Maybe he's afraid of being rejected and that's why he hesitates in making a move? Perhaps you should make the first move after all? Sometimes you have to take a step out of your own comfort zone to get what you want.

 

Side note: Just make sure he's definitely single.

 

Good luck.

[FathomFear]

I would never ask anyone out ever, how can I handle this situation when he will not allow me to put space between us?

 

I am assuming that he will never ask me out.

 

What exactly do you want? If you want a date you should seek it out. For all you know, he hasn't made a move because he just assumes you wouldn't be interested in younger men.

[ITGirl73]

I am afraid to ask him out since he has to report to me at work (I am not his boss but he does have to report to me on certain aspects of his work) so I don't want to put him or me in a bad situation work wise

Last night he was saying how stressed he was with extra workload since we have lost staff recently to I took my chance and said that we should go out and have an after work drinks some night to blow off steam, he just gave me a quizzical look but I did say it in a kind of jokey way to cover myself just in case

Part of me thinks that this is going no where but he will not allow me put space between us

[Capricorn3]

I am afraid to ask him out since he has to report to me at work (I am not his boss but he does have to report to me on certain aspects of his work) so I don't want to put him or me in a bad situation work wise

^^ THIS! I think that's the reason he hesitates - it's all about the usual office policy and dating work mates etc etc. In that respect I can totally understand why he's made no move.

 

That said, I DO think he's interested and I still feel if you want a date with this guy, then you are going to have to be up front about him and ask him out for a coffee one day. If it's a successful "date", then both of you will have to think about how to go about things due to the "not such a good idea in dating work mates" aspect of things.

[CaptainNapalm]

In all honesty, the 9 year age gap is not really all that bad.

[civilservant]

Dated a colleage that was 12 years older than me (24-36, granted she didn't report to me or anything) and it was no problem, until we broke up- then it became a massive problem...

[Car Chick]

In all honesty, the 9 year age gap is not really all that bad.

 

Yeah, look at some of the others on here 18/56, 20/45, 20/57. 9 years is nothing!