Wondering about the guy

[curiousgirl1]

I met a guy from online dating. We seemed to hit it off really well. One thing is that he is out of work and I suspect he is living at home but won't admit it.

 

He does really want to see me again but hasn't set a 2nd date yet. I asked him what is the hold up? He said family issues and job search, etc., and that he really wants to see me again.

 

I am not going to sit around and wait around for him and am keeping my options open but I do really like him, though. He hasn't been online in awhile.

 

Chances are good that he is telling the truth. Who knows he could have an ill family member? I do know that job search is difficult and can be depressing.

 

What are your thoughts? I do wonder if he has so much going on in his life why is he trying to date?

[CaptainNapalm]

My first thought that comes to mind is that he wants to go out with you again but since he's jobless he doesn't have the financial means to do so and is trying to dodge the date so that he doesn't get embaressed by not having money and doesn't want you to have to pay.

[shes2smart]

I do wonder if he has so much going on in his life why is he trying to date?

 

Well..I kinda wonder that about some of the posts I see on here. People have so many other issues they need to deal with but they insist on trying to date and meet someone....

 

But that's a different topic, really.

 

You have 2 basic choices in your situation:

 

1. You wait for him to ask you out. I don't mean "sit there by the phone and wait"....I mean, you go about your business (including meeting and dating others if someone catches your eye) and if he does something to move forward, cool...and if not, well, you're going about your business so no big deal either.

 

OR

 

2. You ask him out.

 

If it was me...and if I was really interested in him....I'd opt for #2. But I am not a terribly patient person and I don't always do what societal rules tell me I should do.

 

Depending on your own ideas about male/female roles in dating, #2 may not be an option for you. If that's the case, you're pretty much stuck with waiting -- either while going about your business OR "waiting-by-the-phone" waiting.

[russ978]

My first thought that comes to mind is that he wants to go out with you again but since he's jobless he doesn't have the financial means to do so and is trying to dodge the date so that he doesn't get embaressed by not having money and doesn't want you to have to pay.

 

Coffee. Walk. Hike. 'Who can pick the most boring book at the public library'...if a guy wants to see you and is a man, he'll figure out a way to see you regardless of whether or not he has the financial means.

 

If he's not making the moves, you should look elsewhere, there's nothing that says you only have to date one person at once and if you're waiting on someone who won't pursue you, you'll likely find yourself waiting an awful lot....

[blueeyedme]

If he's not making the moves, you should look elsewhere, there's nothing that says you only have to date one person at once and if you're waiting on someone who won't pursue you, you'll likely find yourself waiting an awful lot....

 

Give the guy a break...for most professionals, so much of their being is tied up in their career and being jobless and looking can easily lead to feelings of depression and inadequacy. If you are interested and accept him in the current stage he is going through - then you should let him know and see what happens...you know never know.

[curiousgirl1]

Yeah I'm giving him a break ... because I can completely understand because I have went through unemployment myself and it wasn't fun.