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She has a boyfriend, she hasn't told me, not sure if I should continue.. :/


VERBSA

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to make a long story short, I've been talking with a girl for roughly 3 months, we see each other in a public setting. When we first saw each other we would see ach other 2-4 times a week, we both had butterflys and really liked each other just by looking at each other. We started talking to each other, and we had a great connection, many similar hobbies, looked deep into each other eyes, ect.

 

At one point I saw her come very dressed up, in makeup nothing she did before. I think she was interested me at most at this point, and was ready for me to ask her out then. I didn't, I had plans with a friend for the entire week (they where visting out of town) and I said I was excited to see them. I didn't see her again for about 3 weeks, (her apperance wasn't nearly like it used to be, I mean she still looked fine but something just wasn't the same when we first started looking at each other) when I did talk to her again and we both continued to flirt and both her eyes and body lang told me she was very, very into me. I asked her for #, and if she wanted to go do this fun activity, something we both liked, when I got back from a trip i was taking. She said sure, and gave me it.

 

Called her up a week later, I got no answer and left her a vm (DREADED vm lol). I told her I was going to do this fun activity in 2 days, and if she wanted to join me to call me back. No call back

 

I saw her a week later at the same mutual spot, and we talked. She didn't seem as flirty as normal but nothing alarming. We small talked and I never brought up her not calling back. But she made an effort to mention for no reason "how she is so busy, and all she does is work, with her 2 jobs." she really does have them. She also made point to mention for no reason, that her phone broke (sounds a bit like an excuss) and she was upset, because she couldn't get back to people. I said cya soon and said goodbye soon.

 

Now, she doesn't know , but I know she has a b/f. She has never mentioned him. I didn't find this out until about 1 week ago, right after I called her. I never assumed she had a b/f, by the way she seemed interested in me, sometimes actually following me around just so I'd end up talking to her.

 

My question is, what should I do at this point? Any female perspective? She is a very mature, down to earth girl. I feel like If I haven't already, I might right at the point of no return here with this relationship. I really like this girl both physically and personality wise more then 99% of the women I meet.. just not sure what I should do to get to the point with her.

 

Thanks

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She is in a relationship. Don't pursue her.

 

I would normally agree, but then why do we look very deep into each other eyes, and she has a smile that is more then a smile. Her bond language is very clear she is interested.

 

Why would she follow me into rooms if she was in a relationship?

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I would normally agree, but then why do we look very deep into each other eyes, and she has a smile that is more then a smile. Her bond language is very clear she is interested.

 

Why would she follow me into rooms if she was in a relationship?

 

 

You said yourself that she was in a relationship. I'm just saying. It's situations like these that get out of control and in the end people get hurt.

 

There are plenty of other "single" girls out there.

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I would normally agree, but then why do we look very deep into each other eyes, and she has a smile that is more then a smile. Her bond language is very clear she is interested.

 

Why would she follow me into rooms if she was in a relationship?

 

No one's saying that she isn't into you. Maybe she is. But is that worth being the guy on the side? What happens when her boyfriend finds out? What happens when you start sleeping together and you know she's sleeping with him, too?

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Recipe for disaster. Say things do work out, you continue to see her, she eventually ends things with the current boyfriend. Will you ever be able to trust that she will not have another guy she "follows into rooms" and "smiles more than a smile" to, while you are the current boyfriend?

 

If she is willing to do it to others, she is willing to do it TO YOU!

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I think you created a fantasy scenario here for yourself with wishfull thinking about a girl who is in a relationship. All the stuff you mention about her behaving a certain way could very well be just her friendliness you interpret as flirtation and attraction because you are fueled by the fact you're attracted to her. I know plenty of women who behave this way towards me but not for a second I would interpret what you described as flirting. Given that she has a boyfriend I think your chances with her are zero. You should see her as just a friend, at most.

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Sounds to me like maybe she didn't have the bf right away. She was probably single at the begginning of it all and met someone about the time that she started to pull away from you.

 

I would say the best you can do now is be friends with her if you're that into her and hope it doesn't work out with the new bf. But I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you and there are plenty other fish in the sea.

 

This is actually what happened to me and this guy I met online. Met him before I met someone who became my bf. Saw him around, was very interested in him. Hung out with him a bit. Then once I got into my relationship, I never told him about the bf until we got serious but I did stop hanging out with him, returning his calls, ect. right away. He still contacts me to this day but I've asked for it to be a friend thing since then. I think he still hopes for more. And even though my bf and I split a while back. I still won't date him.

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i read your post several times over to make sure i didn't miss it. yeah, it says you know she has a bf, but how did you find this out? did she tell you? if she didn't, i'd just flat out ask her out. she will let you know if you took it too far and she has a bf. she might just think you are a great guy friend. you want to know? make the move...

 

 

and realize you are chancing her friendship by going for it. i don't want to hear 'but she's a great friend, but i wonder...' cause if you do, you need to make a decision....try for more or cut her as a friend anyways. you will have this in your head forever. nothing worse than relishing the 'what if' in your head punishing yourself.

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Please don't man. You don't know how painful it is to see your girlfriend have sex with other men behind your back. It happened to me- I'm telling you, if you care at all for another human being (her boyfriend), don't do it, its devastating.

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There is nowhere to go from here with this particular person. If you have concrete, reliable information that she has a boyfriend, then you would be doing yourself a huge favor by staying away from the entire situation.

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I think you created a fantasy scenario here for yourself with wishfull thinking about a girl who is in a relationship. All the stuff you mention about her behaving a certain way could very well be just her friendliness you interpret as flirtation and attraction because you are fueled by the fact you're attracted to her. I know plenty of women who behave this way towards me but not for a second I would interpret what you described as flirting. Given that she has a boyfriend I think your chances with her are zero. You should see her as just a friend, at most.

 

I agree with CaptainNaplam. Sometimes I also interpret friendliness as flirting.

 

Regarding this her up a week later, I got no answer and left her a vm (DREADED vm lol). I told her I was going to do this fun activity in 2 days, and if she wanted to join me to call me back. No call back[/b]

 

This alone means: She is not interested.

 

I don't care what indicators of interest she gave you or she looks deeps in your eyes blah blah blah, as long as she doesn't hang out with you, she is not interested.

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she is currently in a relationship bro, don't even bother pursuing that girl.

 

Keep your options open and keep her as eye candy. You never know what could happen and she may become single sometime and you may still be avaliable and interested.

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There is nowhere to go from here with this particular person. If you have concrete, reliable information that she has a boyfriend, then you would be doing yourself a huge favor by staying away from the entire situation.

 

that's all i'm saying.

 

no idea why other posters are saying watching your gf have sex with other guys and saying NO GO and all that yet. i'd like the details of how he knows or thinks she has a bf first.

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