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One step forward....two steps back.


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My full story is under the name "Well, here is my story. Seeking advice, words of encouragement, anything?" It should be under my topics on my profile.

 

Some days, I feel really great. Like I'm really over him and I don't think about him too much. I already cut off my communication with him online, and I stopped snooping because I got my friend to ask him to change his passwords. Problem is, I see him in class every other day and it feels like I take so many steps back from healing after every encounter.

 

He is a lot different from when we were going out. I don't know how to explain it. But it's just like before we were going out. I don't know, but I can't handle this drastic of a change. He obviously can just move on quick like that, but I know I'm still not completely over him. He acts so insensitively, like talking nonchalantly about our past relationship, and talking about his new girlfriend and stuff.

 

I don't even know if he wants to be friends with me.. He told me that he did when he broke up with me, but he is acting sort of mean to me? I kind of want to be friends.. He still makes me laugh but I still get that gutted feeling in my stomach.

 

Also, I think that he thinks I'm a psycho ex or something. He found out that I was snooping in his email/facebook since my friend told him to change his password. I knew he was bound to find out sooner or later if I wanted to really stop myself from snooping any further (by not knowing the password). It just really bothers me because I don't want him or his new girlfriend to think of me that way.

 

He got really mad at me too. Because I told some of my friends that he got back together with his ex. I didn't know that they were keeping it a secret when I told them, and I didn't tell anyone else after he did. Heck, I even talked to every one of them to make sure they didn't tell anyone else. I told him that, and he said, "Well, I don't think it's really any of their business knowing. You're just telling them to make me look bad. Why would you tell them?"

I told him that I was just telling them the truth.

 

I know I shouldn't let it bother me but I can't help it. Today I looked at his facebook again on my friend's account. I tried to re-add him on my instant messengers. (I stopped before I did) I get that missing feeling again, and I want to talk to him. It really feels like I'm taking one step forward and two steps back. Sad

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The truth is, Ch0xi, you can't just click your fingers and be friends at the end of a relationship, even though you may want to. You also can't get over someone in the same way. Both things take time.

 

You did good in getting him to change his passwords. While most of us wouldn't admit to the snooping, if given the opportunity after a break up many of us do. Taking the step to stop yourself is a step in the right direction.

 

The hardest thing is that you see him in class. But you just need to switch off your feelings for him and start pretending that he is just another nobody in your class. And what do we think about the lives of nobodies in our class? Who cares... It'll be hard, but again it is a step in the right direction. Friends is later, sometimes much later and often after a period of nothing at all - NC!

 

Stop worrying what he and his new gf are thinking. That's not your life anymore. That you tell someone something is your business and while they may be doing something in their own way ie keeping it to themselves, you don't know that and can say what you want. Do try not to talk too much about it though, it will help in letting it go.

 

Good luck with it.

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Thanks for the advice! (:

 

The thing is, I know it takes time to get over a relationship and then friends later, but I feel like I am running out of time. I am still in high school and since we are in different grades, next year, I will probably never see him again. There are only a few months left of the school year.. Since he was kind of a big part of my life, at least for a little while, I don't want to just get rid of him completely.

 

I try my best not to care about what they think or do. It has nothing to do with me anymore. But it's hard because the change was so sudden, like he was just yanked out of my life.

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