katified Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 If you read my previous post, you'll see the situation with my ex. We remained friends on facebook. We had a really decent, cordial conversation in the beginning of the day the other day on facebook. He told me he had acted blindly, and made a lot of mistakes. That he felt he needed to "run away from everything" (yet he's sleeping around with a 17 year old girl haha.) He told me that his life had not gotten any better. That he was semi homeless, in debt, and that his car did not work. He told me was sorry for dissapointing me, ect ect ect. We progressed further and he asked me if I wanted my GPS back that he had gotten me for my birthday. I finally accepted after denying for about a week. He even went as far as to ask where in the city I was so he could bring it to me. I told him I would talk to him later about it, because I needed to go to work. I came home and asked him about the GPS and told him I could pick it up. He started acting very hostile. I assume this is because his fling had gotten out of high-school and was looking over the conversation. He told me to 'just take it from the car, because he wanted this to stop'. What? I asked him. What the hell you want this to 'stop?' You were talking decently to me 6 hours ago, and telling me to grab the damn GPS. He told me he had $224 in parking tickets to pay off, but to just 'take it, because he wanted it to stop' I went to go grab the GPS from his car. Nothing was there. He lied to me. He proceeded to block me on facebook. I checked the next day, and I was unblocked. He's carless He's semi homeless He's in debt 4 months ago this guy would have walked on water for me, and he NEVER would of gone without a car. I want to be so furious, but I think maybe he has some psychological issues that are surfacing because of his young age and the stress of life creeping up. Bills, ect. [he just turned 21]. I sound naive, and most would just call him an * * * * * * * but he has truly destroyed his life as of late. The girl he is sleeping around with is rumoured to have herpes, and slept with someone who was HIV+ positive. As terrible as this guy has been to me, I can't help but worry for him. Some of his friends at the moment won't even talk to him because they don't approve of his actions as of late. Even though he immediately unblocked me, I think it's best to go NC for now because as much as I worry about what is going on in his life, I can't save him. He can only help himself. I don't have him blocked on anything, but I have prevented myself from adding him back on facebook. He knows me, and I am entirely predictable so I'm sure me not immediately adding him back will make him wonder. I've always been there 100%, however * * * * ty he has acted. I wish him well. I hope he's okay. Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 Jesus, he sounds like he has some sort of intense mental illness. I would stay away from him for now. He doesn't sound stable. I'm willing to bet that since you're doing so much better in life than him, he got jealous and wanted you to suffer. Link to comment
katified Posted March 17, 2010 Author Share Posted March 17, 2010 Jesus, he sounds like he has some sort of intense mental illness. I would stay away from him for now. He doesn't sound stable. I'm willing to bet that since you're doing so much better in life than him, he got jealous and wanted you to suffer. Somebody mentioned that the fact that I had two jobs and was going to school might have distanced us. The fact that he is currently moving on to a younger girl with no responsiblities who can play Mario Kart with him all day would probably verify that. He was always a sweetheart when we were together, and treated me really very well. He waited on me hand and foot even when I told him not to. I'm not exactly sure, but I do think he is extremely stressed out lately with adulthood creeping up. When we got into arguments, he used to tell me "I don't think. I don't remember what I was doing 10 seconds ago. I just do. It's like everything is a haze. I'm on autopilot" I used to think it was just an excuse, but maybe there was some truth to it. Link to comment
jul-els Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 It's not something you can worry about. You have to worry about taking care of yourself and the same goes for him. Maybe if he gets his act together you can talk to him again but as of now he's just dragging himself down and will take you with him if you give him a chance. Best to just wish him the best and move on. Link to comment
katified Posted March 17, 2010 Author Share Posted March 17, 2010 It's not something you can worry about. You have to worry about taking care of yourself and the same goes for him. Maybe if he gets his act together you can talk to him again but as of now he's just dragging himself down and will take you with him if you give him a chance. Best to just wish him the best and move on. Yeah. It's just rough. Sharing every minute with someone for 3 years and then overnight knowing nothing about them. Not even knowing if they are okay, not knowing about their welfare. I'm probably so much better off, but it's still difficult to detach and not hurt. I'm angry, resentful, and bitter for how he treated me. it was NOT okay. But I know there is something wrong with him. He told me the other day during the 'cordial' part of the day, that he "knew he would regret this" and that his life was * * * * ed either way. "I never saw myself leaving you. Ever. Then I got unhappy with life. And I'm still unhappy. I still do the same things. I sit in front of a computer and smoke butts all day. I wish I could run away from everything, but I can't" It was nice to get some insight... even if it was negative. To hear what was going on. And then, six hours later. he's hostile. bitter. You never really know anyone. Much as you think I do. It was just a setback. I can't talk to him like this, I can't. I know he expects me to be adding him back on Facebook, but I won't. I can't allow myself to drag myself down, even if I know he needs help. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 As much as you feel sorry for him, you have to realize that he's an adult, and is responsible for the choices he makes. You can't fix him, he needs to do that on his own. I wouldn't consider this guy a friend, but as someone to stay far away from. Link to comment
katified Posted March 17, 2010 Author Share Posted March 17, 2010 As much as you feel sorry for him, you have to realize that he's an adult, and is responsible for the choices he makes. You can't fix him, he needs to do that on his own. I wouldn't consider this guy a friend, but as someone to stay far away from. I agree, as much as it kills me and puts an ache in my heart. Why now though, I wonder? Is it the stress of adulthood? I wish I knew how someone could change overnight and go nuts. Link to comment
katified Posted March 17, 2010 Author Share Posted March 17, 2010 After I found the car empty, I txted him and told him to never speak to me again. I don't want that, deep down, but I was angry. I'd like to be there for him... even after everything he's done. I suppose if he WANTS to be in my life he will be, regardless of me saying that. He'd find a way to apologize. Link to comment
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