one week later...

[meesh]

I am feeling good. better. I still miss him A LOT. I have made sure that I haven't circled everything that he said to me that night around and around and around and around in my head. don't get me wrong... it still hurts.

my boyfriend and I were in our relationship for almost 7 months. he broke up with me and told me he did not love me anymore... the night he broke up with me he held me all night as i cried.... the following days we talked and he said he wanted to be best friends... that he loves being around me.... and then i lost it.... i confronted him about how hurt i really was .... i said some hurtful things .... he said some hurtful things .... and said he didnt want to be friends any longer...... but then he gave me the chance to take back the harsh things i said and gave me a hug ..... we lived together for 3 months in his house so the next morning i moved out and on to our friends couch. i have been keeping myself busy ... a lot of my stuff is stowed away at his house that he packed up for me and put it safely in his storage ....

the past few days he has been genuinely concerned about my living arrangement bc it is not that great. also my father is very ill so i am returning to my hometown 10 hours away for a month ....he has known this for awhile that i would be returning home for an extended period of time sometime soon.

today i came to his house and got a few more things out .... and he asked me how the living arrangement was and where i would go next before my flight in 2 weeks to be with my family. he told me i could come whenever i wanted to sort through my stuff that he would keep it safe for me etc.

3 days before our breakup he bought me flowers .... they are now ten days old... and i am sure withering away. i sent him a text shortly ago asking him what he did with them (i want to keep them and dry them and do something with them as a memento of our relationship) ... i totally expected him to throw them out which i would not have been mad about but, he just told me that he put them on his windowsill so they could get some sun .... and he asked if i wanted them and i explained why i did ... he then said i could come to get them anytime ..... and that i could hang out at his house anytime i would like .......

 

what a nice guy right?

i am not looking in to this as him still holding on to something. I think i am just surprised at the fact that he wants to be friends like that soooo badly. I know I am not ready for it .... and i have never had a breakup like this before ever...

it is usually i am okay that i am done with you in my life .... so let's make it that way.

seriously ... how can you switch in to being friends just like that ? anyone have a situation like this before?

i know the month i am gone will give me time to heal my hurt heart .... i just dunno.

such a tricky and confusing situation.

especially since i still love him with all of my heart.

[meesh]

no one wants to help?