Mixed Signals from my Ex leaving me confused

[lil angel]

Thanks in advance for reading my post.

 

I'm currently 18 and am in a relationship with a guy who I dated when I was off the rebound of my first boyfriend when i was sixteen.

 

When i was sixteen, i dated a guy who i've known since 12 years of age, and we dated for three months. We were very sweet to one another until he broke up with me after holiday break. He never gave me a real reason of why he broke up with me in the first place.

 

Now, the guy who i'm currently seeing is his friend and roomate in college. I think i'm in love with my boyfriend but i'm not really sure. I find that i'm not as compatible with my current bf than my ex.

 

My ex and i spend lots of time together now. He's attends college away with my boyfriend and when either of them come back, i spend lots of time with each of them, either together or alone.

 

Now recently, since college is over for the summer, I've been spending a significant amounts of time with my Ex. My boyfriend doesn't mind because he trusts me. My ex and i act like friends except sometimes his jokes are borderline flirting. He's didn't really know about my bf and i seeing each other because we didn't want others to know about it. He found out September 2003 and since then, when we're alone, he constantly inquires into my relationship and asking about it. For example,

 

If I think i'm going to marry him? Do you plan to live with him?

and he also makes a lot of comments about our relationship which makes me believe that he's jealous or envious about us.

He also makes comments such as " there are plenty of fish in the sea" and jokes with me in a flirtaious manner. We go out and hang out alot, but it seems like he enjoys/ wants to spend time alone with me over me and my bf. It's weird.

 

Also, when we are together, I find we do very couplish things such as movies and dinner. For the past two weeks, i've noticed that he acts very flirty with me and sweet to me. but when i'm with my friends and him, he's still flirtaious but insults me in a jokingly way. But when i'm with my bf and him, he constantly insults me in a jokingly way.

 

I made some of my friends observe us when we're together, and they've concluded that he's jealous of me and my bf. but recently, i've pushed a little further to see if it's true. I wanted to know the truth i guess...and he's sorta withdrawed back. Now, I realize that I still have feelings for my Ex. In some ways I want to get back with him if i realize that he really has feelings for me. but if not, I don't want to hurt my current relationship with my guy because he's a nice guy. However, my ex is also a good guy, and if he does have feelings for me, he would not make a move because he's friends with my boyfriend.

 

I'm really clueless and it's bothering me a lot.

 

I like my ex and my bf at the same time. I dont' know if i'm just misinterpreting signals or anything.

 

Should I ask or say anything to my ex?

[im_not_jose]

sounds to me more like you are the one playing the two of them more than anything else. shame on you.

 

do what you think is right and stick with it, and be prepared to face the consequences. go for the ex and face the likely chance that it will break up again and mess up the friendships with your current boyfriend for the tweo of you or stick with the boyfriend you know who treats you right or dont do either and keep away from both. you shouldnt lead your ex on like that. first of all not telling him about your relationship with his friend, then playing tests on him. and you shouldnt be with your current boyfriend if you dont truly love him. he deserves someone better for him.

 

think about it.

[Aussieguy]

He still LOVES you!!!!!

 

I am in a similar position as him, my ex has got a new BF and have been going out for almost a month, but we still see each other occasionally alone and with friends, and i do exactly what your ex does in regards to jokingly insulting her while friends are around, and sort of flirt with her when we are alone, although i would never go any further, because i don't mind the guy she is currently seeing, but the bottom line is i still Love her more then ever, probably just like your ex.

[TrueHeart]

I also am in a similar situation... However, my XXBF is the one I'm in love with.. He's leading the two of us on, telling me that he's confused about their relationship..

 

I completely understand your confusion.. This makes it hard because you all are friends... Realizing that you still love your X, even though your current BF your with, is SOO extremely unfair to YOU and your new BF. As I wish my XXBF would do: Gum up the guts and just make a decision... You will hurt one or all parties inevitably, but atleast you won't be stringing them along.... This is a tight situation with a short fuse for back-firing-- tread softly, but honestly.... I sincerely wish you luck, friend... you are indefinitely going to need it..

[amaranth_04]

I view this situation a little differently from the rest of the posts.

 

he broke up with me... He never gave me a real reason of why he broke up with me in the first place.

 

they've concluded that he's jealous of me and my bf. but recently, i've pushed a little further to see if it's true. I wanted to know the truth i guess...and he's sorta withdrawed back.

 

I agree that you need to make a choice and not lead your current bf on, but I can understand why you would be a little hesitant in view of your ex's previous and recent behaviour as quoted ^^. I'll advise that you get some answers from your ex, why he seems like he wants to pursue you now. Don't go with the current one as a fall back guy, he deserves more. Sort out your feelings for this current one and then sort out the ones for your ex before you take the plunge with the latter again.

[xxatti]

Nothing good can come of this situation. You're only going to drive a wedge into these two guys friendship. If you care at all for their friendship:

I suggest you back away from both of them and let time play itself out. That means you must at the very least break things off or put them on hold with your current bf. At least until they're no longer roommates. If it is meant to be then your ex will come back to you.

[TrueHeart]

I couldn't agree more...