A rather embarrasing and troubling problem…

[dl217]

I'm not sure if this is the best section to place this in but here it goes anyways.

 

I've got a rather embarrasing and troubling problem, and I don't know where to turn or what to do. *

 

It happened two nights ago when I was at a party, I met a girl there and we both took a limit to each other and started kissing ect. So we ended up going back to her place and were about to have sex when somethng happened: IT wouldn't work. Yep, I couldn't get hard enough; instead, it got about halfway to fully errect, then would stay somewhat soft, then it would die off after 3 or so minutes. I was so embarrased and I had no idea why this was happening; it made me feel like less of a man. The worst part is that I'm constanly worried that it's broken which probably won't help my situation; I'll likely worry about it the next time I'm about to have sex and it'll probably fail again. *

 

I've never had this problem before, I've always been able to get hard so I don't know what went wrong. Oh, and I'm only 29 so I'm even more worried because I don't want to have to take Viagra or something similar for the rest of my life. *

 

Has this happened to anybody else? If so, how did you overcome it? Can I fix this? I don't know what's causing it but I hear a few things like stress or a low testosterone level can cause it to occur, if that's the case, how can I fix it? Please help me, I'm freaking out here. *

[Cognitive_Canine]

Have you recently gained much weight? Were you drunk when you were trying to have sex with her?

[Lecturer]

It happens sometimes.

 

Stress, low testosterone, or emotional issues are major causes.

 

You are correct, if you fear and obsess over it, it will happen again (and again).

[lostandhurt]

No this hasn't happened to me but it can happen. It was just one time so relax. She probably thought it was her.

Your junk doesn't get broken but it can work less than what you would like. If you drinking that night it was probably that. If it happens again or if you can't get erect while masturbating then you should see your doctor. Get a blood test and a complete physical to see if there is anything that isn't right.

 

Lost

[Red Fox]

As it was a party were you drinking? Alcohol can cause problems down there.

[dl217]

Ok to try and answer most questions, yeah I was drinking and that's what I thought at first, but then after a bit of sleep, we woke up and I tried again. It got hard enough to get in but got soft quick so I couldn't really finish or go very long. Yeah I was bit hungover but I didn't think that should be a major factor.

 

So anyways, today once I got home from work I tried to get hard and it worked, bub for a very short period of time. I'm talking only about 1 min before it started to soften.

 

About the weight thing, I was once about 230 lbs and about 2 years ago I dropped 35 of it so since then I've been around the 195mark.

[fang76]

When I hit my 30s I found it very difficult to get hard and stay hard if I had gotten too drunk the night before. In my early 20s no problem at all. I'm also a bit overweight now too.

[Cardinal]

Give it a couple of weeks. Good rest, healthy food, some good workouts, no need to really drink any alcohol. Make sure it is still a really bad problem for you, then consider worrying.

[midnightrambler]

As it was a party were you drinking? Alcohol can cause problems down there.

 

we called it whiskey d!ck in college

[MakestheBest]

Hey guys ( OP included ) can I ask a question based off of this thread??

 

...My ex sometimes had a hard time sustaining an erection after drinking-I'd say about 40 percent of the time, and then every once in awhile on other occasions. We are both in our early thirties...I usually didn't take it personally ( but I had never had a partner that that happened with before), but on occasion it just seemed he needed SO MUCH stimulation to remain erect. And it made it difficult for me to stay in the mood, which made it hard for me to keep him in the mood. I wanted to ask him questions but I didnt want to embarrass him. But sometimes it made me feel bad although he said its not me.

 

Soo...What does it feel like? are you still turned on but not responding? is it frustrating or painful? or are you just a little turned off and your body is responding too fast to being not hella turned on?

[fang76]

if sex is fine sober then he's telling the truth. Remember alc lowers standards so it would be even easier to have sex with you while drunk if the problem was you.

 

It is frustrating but not painful. I can be fully hard while kissing then go limp or half limp in the few seconds it takes to get on top of her.

[dl217]

Ok well here's a bit of an update on my situation. After much freaking out (still happening, actually) I decided to hit up a walk-in clinic and see what they say. The first guy sent me to the neurologist, and after speaking to him and giving him as much detail as I could, he said that medically, there's nothing wrong with me and he believes it's all mental. Maybe this is true, maybe it is just mental with all the stress and crap that comes with life. Now while that makes me feel good that my junk isn't "busted", it's making me confused as to how to fix it. I mean, it's easy to say "Don't let things bother you," but it's MUCH easier said than done. Then again, while trying to have sex with this girl, it's not like I was thinking about other problems.

 

Maybe it was the alcohol, but maybe it was other factors like lack of exercise and proper diet, so I made a decision on the spot: No more alcohol for a LOOOOOOOOOONG time, not even a single drink, and to further it, I joined a gym just today after the clinic and I'm gonna work my ass off and lose weight ect. Oh, and I'm gonna try and vastly improve my diet.

 

The only crappy thing about this solution is that it's likely gonna take a bit of time--maybe a couple weeks--which isn't a quick fix. Sadly, I'm not gonna feel confident in calling her up for another session until I feel like the problem is solved.

 

What are your thoughts of what I'm setting out to do? Think it'll solve the problem any?

[dl217]

Hmm.. How does it feel? Yeah I'm turned on and all I want is to make it happen and have the sex without problem, but I think it spirals the guy out of the mood because, at least for me, I started freaking out and putting pressure on myself, likely making it worse.. Worst of all, even though I know this, it's nearly impossible to avoid when you're in the moment. Actually, that's not the worst of it, the worst is when you try to have sex again and you put the pressure on yourself by trying to say "it's not gonna fail me, it's not gonna fail me." By doing that, I likely would jinx myself into having the problem again. Really sucks.

 

I really have to dig myself outta this hole I'm in.

[lostandhurt]

Follow your plan. It is a good one. If your hormone levels check out okay then it could be stress and drinking and being to heavy. Working out will lower your stress and cutting out the drinking can only help your weight and boner!

 

I hope she looks as good now that you quit drinking! LOL

 

Lost

[corrin]

STOP! It was only your nerves. You don't need to stop drinking or start exercising like a fiend. Thoughts about not getting hard can be immediate erection killers. Don't fret. Accept the fact that this is normal and can happen again. If this girl is worth a little embarrassment, call her up, tell her how much the incident bothered you, that it probably happened because you wanted to impress her and ask her if she will help you out. Then start another session and accept the fact that it may not work and make sure she knows you are still nervous and it may not work. Try and remove the fear of failure by accepting the possibility of failure.

[dl217]

STOP! It was only your nerves. You don't need to stop drinking or start exercising like a fiend. Thoughts about not getting hard can be immediate erection killers. Don't fret. Accept the fact that this is normal and can happen again. If this girl is worth a little embarrassment, call her up, tell her how much the incident bothered you, that it probably happened because you wanted to impress her and ask her if she will help you out. Then start another session and accept the fact that it may not work and make sure she knows you are still nervous and it may not work. Try and remove the fear of failure by accepting the possibility of failure.

 

I know that you're right, it's my thoughts, but maybe there's a reason my thoughts are killing me? I mean, I'm not fat when you look at me but I have more excess weight than I should, in fact, my fitness evaluation yesterday showed that I've got a pretty hefty amount of extra weight on me so I should cut it out, even if not just to help with my wang. My diet too, is something that needs work. I tend not to eat terribly well, and I do drink more often than I should. And maybe it won't be a 100% cold turkey type of thing when it comes to drinking, but on occasion, I've been known to binge drink and I should cut it down to maybe celebrations ect.

 

In any case, I'm going to try sticking to my plan for as long as I can as it'll help me get healthier, again, not just for my penis.

[dl217]

Follow your plan. It is a good one. If your hormone levels check out okay then it could be stress and drinking and being to heavy. Working out will lower your stress and cutting out the drinking can only help your weight and boner!

 

I hope she looks as good now that you quit drinking! LOL

 

Lost

 

HAHA. I can assure you, she still looked damn hot when I woke up next to her in the morning, well after I sobered up. Though, I did have a nasty hangover in the morning.