She has a busy life, will she ever be ready for a boyfriend?

[detox5]

We are now speaking after 3 months and it seems everytime we speak now it gets better and its as if shes coming back to her own self. Im just wondering, everytime we speak she is busy, i know this. But will she ever have time to miss me or infact have time for me as a boyfriend again, thats if she still has feelings for me, which i dont doubt, how does this work, common ladys!!!

[GeeCee]

Detox

 

I guess that it is a good thing that you have contact. However, I also think that we read too much into the slightest gesture made by our exes, because we live in hope.

 

From a personal perspective (I raise my children alone and have a very demanding job that takes up a lot of my time), however busy one is, I think that they make time for someone if they want to. So, my gut feel is that if she wanted to see you ENOUGH, she would make the time to do so. However, this does not mean that this will always be the case. I fyou are strong enough to work hard at your 'game', could be that you can get what you want in the long term. But it will be a very arduous struggle.

 

Good luck.

 

G xx

[detox5]

Sorry i dont think i interpreted that last part very well, what is your advice to me? I think i am patient in the long run etc, but I just cant face my self to be with any 1 else, ive tried it i hate lookin into there eyes and only seeying my exes, its not fair on anyone.

[GeeCee]

Sorry Detox if I was not clear. I think that in all likelihood your relationship with your ex may well be over.

 

None of us know the answers, but what I was trying to say was that if she wanted to see you, she would make the effort to do so.

 

While you are both in contact, that must give you some hope, but she will have to be willing to make some effort too. And the chances are that it will be very difficult to repair if you are doing more work than she is.

 

Hope that I have been clearer this time.

 

G xx

[detox5]

Do you think I should keep chasing, or let her chase me, and see if theres any signs like that?

[GeeCee]

I think that you have to stop chasing. Definitely. She has to make the decision as to whether she comes back or not.

 

G xx

[detox5]

Wise words from an expert, im thinking of doing some NC to her, for my half, to get my head sorted, and to actually see if she will go out of her way to contact me, what do you think or will it push her away?

[Suavemantotherescue]

Well guy, this is sort of a sugestion but before you start your no contact dedication, you might want to consider writing her a letter. Okay, like write a letter saying whenever you get the free time, call me or something or ask to do something or whatever, just don't put 'I love you' or "lets get back together" or anything like that but you can put anything else you want to really, just tell her to cantact you. Send it off then wait for her to respond. Don't call or bother her or anything. You should wait a resonable amount of time, a week should do it but you can go up to two weeks if you want. If she doesnt respond then you'll know to move on. Remember its kind of a dumb idea to go NC unless the person knows you want to talk to them, especailly if you havent even seen her for awhile, you know. Laters.

[detox5]

well she has let me back into her life after 3 months because of her exams, now that they are over she wanted me back in her life for watever reason. I just want to not speak with her maybe a month and see if her actions change, not sure.

[HappyLisa]

I have been going out with my boyfriend for 3 months and he works a lot, and so we don't get to see each other much, once maybe twice a week, and he is really tired, If someone really wants to be with you or see you, they will make the time for you. and it only takes a minute to make a phone call.

[detox5]

But dont forget weve only been starting talking again, shes hardly gonna call me straight away, shall i just give it time do you think? Cause at the moment I seem to be doing the chasing even though she was first to initiate contact.

[Janet]

Hi Detox

 

Just read your mail. I don't think your head is straight yet. I am doing exactly the same at the moment reading things that are probably not there. Why do you want her back? yes I know you love her and can't emagin being with anyone else. My husban left me on Tuesday and I am still in that limbo stage, thinking exactly the same things. I am trying not to call him all the time because that is not attractive to men when you have a babbling women on the end of the phone. She obviously will not come back to you unless she wants to. You can't make someone want you. The more you are friends with her as if nothing had happened the more she will take this as the norm and want it to just be friends. You need not to call her or take her out. How can she miss you if you are always available to her. I made this mistake this week of calling my ex every minute of the day crying and now he only sees me as a babbling food. Let it go for now, only she can change her mind not you. I am totally devasted after thirteen years together and don't know how I will ever get over it but the more I pretend to be happy eventually it makes you happy. The only person you need to make you whole again is you. I am sure you turned into a different person when you met her. Go back to that person again as thats why she fell in love with you in the first place isn't it??

 

Sorry this is advice from someone who is hurting too. But today is the first day I have not called him and I haven't cried once.

 

Take care let me know what you do.

 

Janet

[detox5]

Well its soo true what you say, how can she miss me if she knows I will pick up all the time and know that I will always answer to her. She doesnt seem to be excited when she talks to me, and she never goes out of her way to talk to me, I did a bag thing yesterday nite by being drunk and sending her a message that it always seems that I am buggin her and that I like her an aweful lot. I did a bad thing and I feel stupid, I havent seen her online as yet and she hasnt replied to my message so I feel aweful, I feel as if i have cut the trust again. I would like to know what she thught of my message but I am just gonna not go online for a while, I make it hard for her to even contact me by doing no contact to her.