watchingstorms Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 ...for you to accept the relationship was really over? I'm three months in, moving house tomorrow and today I think I've finally realised he's not coming back. I hope this really is the start of the new me, I miss him like crazy and I'm terribly sad but surely with acceptance comes a little peace of mind? I hope so. Link to comment
BriarRose Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 My last bf, I didn't accept it until he told me he had met someone else. For some reason, I knew in that moment I would never see him again. And I never did. Link to comment
bluen Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 Almost 4 months deep, still dealing with it... Doesn't hurt as much but there still a lot of pain for me... Link to comment
Theblueman123 Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 About 4 for me, first love nonsense as well as first sexual experience. I'm suprised, really. Link to comment
unknownme Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 (2) Months for me... Link to comment
petite Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 I accept it, but again I still love him so I'm in some ways hoping he cares too. I think it will take some time for me to fully accept it. Link to comment
donpeel83 Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 Well im 8/9 months in and it prob took me about 3-4 months to accept it as being over but the pain is still there despite me feeling a hell of alot better about stuff recently. Link to comment
bitebenot Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 After 3 months it became clear to me that it was REALLY over. In a week it will be 5 months...no contact at all. Link to comment
KittyBoo Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 Almost 4 months deep, still dealing with it... Doesn't hurt as much but there still a lot of pain for me... Almost 4 months for me as well. But as time goes by I realize that while there are some feelings coming from directly missing him, it is more the loneliness and having all the fun activities we did together that I am missing more. One day there will be a new man to make me laugh and to enjoy time with but for right now, I miss the feeling of looking forward to Friday nights so that I could spend time with a SO, the looking forward to planning a vacation, the feelings of complicity that come with having a partner in crime so to speak. Knowing that there is no one to come home to at the end of the day to share the little things with or to simply lighten the load of everyday worries. Having to deal with the feelings of loss and loneliness and not knowing how long it will be before having all the above-mentioned things are the hardest part of the healing. Link to comment
shessofly Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 i'm really ashamed to admit as horrible as my ex was to me it took me a very long time to accept that it was over and i could not heal or move on until that aha! moment came. thinking back, i wasted a lot of time and hope that if i experience heartbreak again i will not mourn for such a long time now that the fog has lifted i can't believe i sat around hoping that guy would let me back in, and allowing him to effect my self worth the way he did. that's why i try to get people to 'see' that it is best to accept this very soon after the breakup and get started with the healing process. if they come back, so be it. time is going to pass anyway...you may as well spend it bettering yourself, instead of looking back over time (sometimes years) wasted hurting over someone who just didn't belong in your life anymore. Link to comment
watchingstorms Posted February 25, 2010 Author Share Posted February 25, 2010 Having to deal with the feelings of loss and loneliness and not knowing how long it will be before having all the above-mentioned things are the hardest part of the healing. This is such a true reflection of where my head has been lately. So it looks like I'm on track with the norm but the long road of pain lies straight ahead as far as the eye can see! I just hope I dont start convincing myself that there is false hope on the journey. I seem expert at seeing possibilites that just aren't there! Thanks for responses guys! Link to comment
shamone Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 its taken me 4 months to accept. and now after iv excepted it and moved on, my ex wants me back! and iv no intention yet to get back with her Link to comment
watchingstorms Posted February 25, 2010 Author Share Posted February 25, 2010 I wish I was in the same position Shamone, I would like to think I would tell him to get lost if he came back now but deep down inside I know I'm not quite there just yet - I have every faith I'll be there soon though! Link to comment
bungalo Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 3 months 11 days 4 hours, 26 minutes and 16, 17, 18, 19, seconds.......................................................................... Link to comment
u4me Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 Ha! It's been 17 months and I haven't accepted it's over - even though he's been with the same chick he cheated on me with since. I'm living proof that you don't necessarily get wiser as you get older. But, your sense of humor improves! Link to comment
lilypadgirl Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 In my experience, it differed on my age/experience/maturity, the type of relationship, and especially, the way it ended. The shortest is 3 months, the longest was 8 months. Usually the realization comes when you discover either you don't want them back, they are with someone else, or you are with someone else. Link to comment
shamone Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 watchingstorms, i realize your not quite there yet but let me tell you it feels like alot of weight off your shoulders when you do eventually move on. its a fantastic feeling, and im not joking! what helped me was stricted NC, and dating other people. it really does work. i myself thought i would never feel like this or get to this stage, but all of a sudden i just clicked! anyway i hope you get through this soon Link to comment
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