rich 1517 - here we go again, scared but confident and awake

[rich_1517]

yes i still want advice. so to answer majors question. i am scared to start something new, mixing memories and new experiences is hard and painful. i have to consider it very carefully.

 

ok i will tell you what happened last night, then fire away.

 

i said to her: your comments have sank in and i cant escape them. much as i want to see you i cannot do this on your terms anymore. that if these are mercy dates or im your security blanket then perhaps we need to take the summer off and meet as friends in the fall. i probabaly wont be available but thats where we are.

 

she then said she is confused and isnt using me, she said she doesnt understand herself at all right now. knowing her as i do this makes sense. she is afraid to be close for too long, her families history of divorce is big, she also had to adjust to living abroad for four years as a kid. so i told her, i think you dont know what the next step in intimacy looks like, just like i didnt know the next step towards marriage.

 

she said she knows she loves me, and will decide finally.

 

we then had an amazing evening, we kissed, we wreslted, we played a game only she and i understand enough to want to play, we joked, we danced, we bruised each other horribly and laughed through it all, we played hangman until one am. we held each other and told each other we still love each other a lot.

 

she is coming over today to play the game again, i will talk to her about "talking" and "listening" one more time. that if she is considering the committment, talk about it to hear her own voice, and that not talking about it was one of the reasons we failed before. and that in that talking we and or she may find how she really feels and what she wants.

 

so sorry if this is frustrating, but i think sometimes this board bets on how long a thing be over in, or will she/he come back? and if it doesnt happen right away then its over. in the three relationships i have rebuilt in my life it took between four and six months. i have also found loves reenter our lives later and its a question of being on the same page or not.

 

letting go for now is what i believe works. i ranted and raved here, but i still have moved my life forward. not romance but pretty much everything else. I havent stopped living.

[RayKay]

Hey rich...

 

I have not commented on your situation before, but I have read plenty...and I really don't think there is anything wrong in what you are doing. While some people prefer to move on and close the chapter in their lives...for others (myself included) as long as you are alive, and they are alive, there is always hope.

 

Similar to you, I still talk to my ex, and we hang out and have a wonderful, GREAT time together. He has commented that things are so great, if they were like this before we would be together! Only they were not, as he was just soooo not ready to take that big step forward with me..that leap of faith in a relationship where you just throw your heart in and go with it. He still has too many fears, still feels he cannot trust his heart - he was hurt in the past, and lost that trust in his heart and started to try and sabotage it to find the way out. He is afraid of failure - afraid of giving everything he has and failing, and while we all have to overcome that, he just can't.

 

I am hurt yes, but I also trust in him, and I trust in what we have together. The love is there between us both - but it comes down to timing - he is just not in the same place I am in yet, he is not ready for forever, and forever still scares him - he does not want to fail! But the idea of never seeing me again scares him too. He really needs to find his inner strength, and learn to trust in himself and his heart again. In the meantime, we are working on a friendship. Sure we talk about these things sometimes, but more than that we try to just make the each time we are together and enjoy them fully. I give him space, time, and he knows how I feel.

 

Sure it can hurt down the road to be "rejected" again, but at least you can honestly say you gave it your best and you followed your heart. I will be very heartbroken if we do not work out in the end, but I know he would be too, and I am sure that the same is with you and your ex.

 

Sometimes, time is what is needed. Around here people often talk of days, weeks, months...but it can take longer. Right now, I am looking at if anything happens between us...at LEAST a year (and that is comforting too, because I know he will not just be "rebounding back" to me). And that is hard to deal with sometimes...but then I put it in perspective. If at the end of it, something grows from this friendship again, it will all be worth it. If it does not, at least I will have known it was never meant to be, and I can accept that - but I gave it my all. Right now, I can't accept it is never meant to be...because I KNOW we are meant to be together, I feel it deep in my heart...and if I walk away forever, take my foot out of that door, I will truly be letting down myself too. I know I cannot "wait", but I also know my heart will not be ready for anyone else for a long time, and not until I give us a fair chance again...or at least know for sure the chance will never be there.

 

Good luck, I really hope it works out for you.

[rich_1517]

RayKay you were just what i needed right now. I applaud you for being true to your heart.

 

it takes strength and courage to hold onto it long after others would have surrenered. but its also the consistency of love and support that a loved one takes into account over time, knowing we love them enough to let them find their own way back to us, even when they cant see it, or that it may never happen. but "to thine own heart be true"

 

its a strange path and one i hope this is the last time i shall walk. but if she and i get through this we will be a hell of a lot stronger for it. i have drawn a line, but i gave her one way that i think it "should" go. talking, stepping out of that comfort zone (she understood completely) and that reconcilliation is a process not always a fine line.

 

but thanks RayKay, i needed that. it is funny though. we dont mean to but we give others serious third person anger about our exes becuase they only hear our side. we get the goodies when we see them and some healing happens, but others are stuck not being able to tell that person what a jerk they are.

 

i dont talk to family or friends about this for just that reason. i want them to still like her should be we be together again. they thinks shes screwy but in the end they want me happy as i do.

[Scout]

Rich, I did not intend for my comments to flame you, but the fact is that I have been following your story for some time, have even re-read many of your posts, offered my feedback - all of this has taken some time out of my day. I did it because at first I genuinely felt sorry for your situation, and wanted to help in any way I could with my feedback. I've actually re-read almost every post you've ever put up, including many of the responses - and have discovered that many posters have given you the same advice time and time again - and its like you don't even listen. Or you do for about one post, than its back on the "well, let's wait and see what she's going to decide this time" merry-go-round.

 

From a woman's perspective, I do not think your ex wants to get back with you, but is keeping you around because a) you won't leave, b) it's flattering to have the attention, c) she's lonely, and d) she hasn't met anyone else yet that really rocks her world.

 

Harsh words? Yes. Coming from bitterness because my own relationship didn't work out? No, not from anything that specific. But in general, and to quote you, we live in a "I want what I want" world these days, and that is causing me some bitterness to a certain extent. And you are a textbook example! Despite all the evidence to the contrary, you feel this woman is the right one for you, and no matter her reluctance and refusal to honor her commitment deadlines, no matter there are others maybe more suitable for you that are presently INTERESTED in you, you are going full-speed ahead with this plan. All because "it's what you want, and you are going to sit in it." (another quote from one of your posts).

 

I am sorry if my last post came accross as spreading unhappiness. I've taken a lot of time to respond to your various posts, have shown quite a bit of sympathy, but finally gave up because it appears you're not going to follow anybody's advice.

[RayKay]

Each situation is so different and every person is so different.

 

I am sometimes criticized by others (and on here too) for defending my ex, and being defensive of his actions. But I am not defending his actions as much as I am defending HIM and his right to make those decisions for himself, because while I can try and explain what has happened or who he is, it is I who know him. I respect his decision, and understand it is part of a journey he needs to take. I want him to be with me fully ready, KNOWING he wants to be here - not out of guilt, or a fear of leaving. No one is perfect, and he is included in that, but I truly do believe in him, and trust him. I know this is not easy for him either - like your ex, he is confused, though he is starting to see, through talking with me as well, what is truly the issues that are holding him back.

 

Sometimes, like you, I get frustrated and want to give up. But I can't - I imagine you are much the same and you just believe in the best in people, and don't give up on those you love. There are many people we can be compatible with, but far fewer whom we can truly grow and develop with as well. I am not into "replacing" what I have...I want to strengthen and build what I do have, and right now the way to do that is through this friendship - sometimes yes I think it would be easier to walk away, but it would not be true to myself or to my feelings. I have faith one day, his heart will open up, and he will truly be ready to follow it.

 

And you are right, whatever does not break us, makes us stronger. Both individually, and together. Love does not always follow a straight path as society has told us it should - each relationship is different and it's own journey. To get the rainbow, you must get through the rain

 

Good luck. Remember, you know your ex better than anyone else here, and you also know your own heart. Follow it. For others, your heart is not just about your emotions, feelings....but about what you truly feel when everything else is still.

[Scout]

Well, I'm not saying you shouldn't fight for your true love, but in Rich's case, it looks like this is a pattern. Rich, you even said in your last post, that your last three or so relationships took several months each to "rebuild". Which means you've gone through this type of situation with several different people! Yikes!!!

 

Listen, I'm not judging you on having a pattern - heck, I've got my own problems that hold me back from a healthy relationship, probably - but you've got people actually wanting to be in a healthy relationship with you and you're blowing them off for your ex. I mean, every day we read on here about lovelorn people who would have done anything for the person they liked, but the person chose someone not as good for them instead.

 

I guess I just don't get it. I'll stay out of this now.

[rich_1517]

hmmm, rebuilding two not three (oops) relationships over twnety five years of dating isnt that much. many poeple have been through two divorces by now. in those cases yes i had something to learn. it was actually two and the reasons were because i believe in taking a break from each other when things are not progressing. i may be alone in that belief but i dont think so.

 

sometimes you have to get the other persons attention when the relationship has stalled or stagnated. i believe we are together out of choice, not promise or owing. we can choose to be out of if too. the time apart lets people ask themselves if this is important enough to consider change. but i also believe there is that point when you comitt finally and to marriage. i just havent been there yet. want to though.

 

if you look at the stats, many divorces end up back together. i never want that to be me, i do think a break is about finding your ultimate partner. but lets face it, break ups stink.

 

in both cases the relationship was stronger for it, but in the end we chose different paths. i am friends with every woman i have ever been with and i believe its because of exactly those reasons. no body owes anybody. people forget that.

[rich_1517]

scout i hear you, but having been on the dating market for quite some time. four three plus year relationships and some shorter ones in between i have learned if you find something worth it, hang on to it if you can, becuase while there is no ONE person we do find someone who can meet many of our needs and are worth the effort.

 

i will never regret not having tried.

 

with her in the picture or out i would still have needed many months to be ready. thats just who i am, wouldnt have mattered. fact is if we dont get back together we have both used this time to learn to stand alone without each other, kind of a bittersweet escort to ending. i hope not but it would be true.

[Sli]

Scout ….give up girl! Sadly they are all just words, just meaningless words. Rich can't hear you! It's true... love is blind but unfortunately it also makes you hard of hearing. Rich you will never regain the hours, days, weeks, months that you have spent pouring out your anguish onto this board but sincerely good luck and I do hope you find happiness one day.

 

I know she has hold of your heart and like me the ending 'bittersweet' or otherwise will only come when she finally let's go…shame.

 

All the best

Sli

[rich_1517]

well time will now tell. have a nice weekend, happy dating.

 

Sli - did you get a chuckle out of that?

 

Scout - i reread your posts, uhmmm, we are different, right? i mean if your ex wanted to date you, wasnt seeing anyone else, said he loves you, wants to find his feelings you would tell him to kiss off, right?

 

the amount of hatred and dissillusionment bothers me. it makes me sad to see peoples choices in relationship chew them up so bad they call time together "wasted" or casting all the blame on the ex, it is good to be mad and angry at them for a while, but in the end we all chose to be with those who dumped us.

 

sometimes people amaze me.

[guesswho]

I have never posted anything here. In fact I created a log in just to comment. I've been following your story for a very long time and personally think they're being way too hard on you lately.

 

In my opinion you aren't doing anything wrong. In fact, I think you are maybe pressuring your ex too much right now--primarily because others are making you feel you need to. If you're not ready to move on, then what's the rush? You two are spending time together, enjoying each other's company, and she's not looking for another relationship. Why not relax and see what happens?

 

You have mentioned Love Tactics before....maybe you need to go back and review them, because right now you are creating pressure for someone who is not sure of what they want. And since she obviously cares a great deal for you, she is probably worried that leading you on will hurt you or committing and it not working will hurt both of you. Applying deadlines right now may actually cause her to run to avoid causing more pain.

 

It sounds like her doubts of how successful she would be at a lasting relationship outweigh her doubts about you. I'd say she is scared and you were safe as long as you were unwilling to commit and she actually used it as an excuse to run from her own fears. Now that you are willing to make the big commitment you are scary, yet she can't stay away (like a moth to a flame). So why not take time and let things happen naturally? Show her that you two work better now and things won't return to how they were....that the good outweighs the bad and it's not so scary?

 

Other than that it sounds like you are doing pretty well. She's definitely emotionally dependant on you, you're creating some doubt with the dating (but not flaunting it), you have a great relationship with her son, you've shown you love and want her in spite of the weight she's gained, you're pretty independent and you've made some personal improvements that have boosted your confidence.

 

As you've said before, you have to follow your heart and if your heart says she is the one then you should hang in there until you are successful or no longer feel that way. I fear that creating deadlines you can't back up will lessen her respect. Why not dispense with all the deadlines and ultimatums until you are sure you can back them up?

[rich_1517]

guesswho you are scaring me. are you her? eep.

 

thanks, i needed that too. and have been thinking the same things, that i am trying to button her up while she is still nervous, and that space and growth are what she needs.

 

thanks guesswhoever you are i needed that sooooo bad.

[RayKay]

 

 

 

Bingo. Well said, for your first post!

 

I know exactly how rich is feeling, because I feel much in the same position as he is, though he is probably farther along then I! I too know that if there is a chance of reconciliation it will be months - in fact at least a year - down the road for certain reasons and so until then friendship and creating positive moments is the best I can hope for - establishing the strong friendship in the meantime, keeping the lines of communication open, the pressure off and hoping in the end that the positives we have together can outweight his own fears of failure in a long term relationship (which are a big issue for him right now) as he learns to trust himself and his own heart again. I know I am the right one for him, and he is the right one for me.....but sometimes even when something is great and the seeds are there, we screw up in figuring out what to do with it all! All that is holding us back right now is his own fears of "forever" and failure, for all we both remember and think of now is the positive we have/had together and the good in each, and I have already seen and addressed what I should of done differently. Sometimes people are too eager to rush things - I think rich has shown his ex he does truly love her, as he is still around but he also respects himself. Sometimes those exes who ran away for space are so insecure, and feel so undeserving of love, that what they need is for that person that loves them to prove them wrong. Not with pressure, but by showing their own strength, by not "giving up". Of course, every situation is different and there are some exes who are truly lost, but as I said before, we know our exes best and our own hearts best

[rich_1517]

tis a hard path we walk rayaky. but i think you would agree that its worth it, while unconditional love can be confused with doormat, over time it separates the less trustworthy. but its also being true to ourselves too.

 

i just learned and relearned a lot this morning. the idea of putting "wiggle" room back in is scary, meaning taking the pressure off. im not sure how i would do that. i did say if we are clearly going somewhere then we can continue.

 

i want to rejoin the philosophy of love again here, but first i need to plan this next step. what would meet my needs and the needs of the process.

 

i need her to come over the line (as she has been) more over time. i can push/pull for that.

 

she needs her feelings to be stronger in the romance department. i can see for her that is letting go of so much control. she isnt fighting it openly but inside must be torture. so she has to willingly surrender it. so comfort zone.

 

how to do both? one or two conversations at most about "what she needs" and "what i need".

 

in the meantime? i will tell her lets just keep talking and hanging out. that pressing for something that doesnt come naturally is my mistake, i will test my patience as best i can, but i do want you to step out of your comfort zone. help me stay in this essentially, and i will give you the space you need.

 

 

and i agree, guesswho your post was very cool.

[GeeCee]

Rich

 

I have no doubt that you find guesswho's post cool. It is telling you what you want to hear!!

 

G xx

[rich_1517]

well of course i do. nice to hear from you, though you are still drumming on my head to give up i still love you and want you to marry me.

 

i have made a choice of a path that is truest to my heart. when I consider my age, the experience she and i have the time is not as much as you would think. i know you are saying "wake up" she isnt happening. i know that.

 

finding someone who meets my list of wants and needs takes time. so why not let this one go a little longer.

 

this is just worth it still, whats changing is me. im more willing to be patient becuase job changed, ive changed, im dating, and it doesnt hurt as much. thats the reason for the pressure, i have to remember if i want to play this one out that there are times it will hurt.

 

so tell me GeeCee whats new in your life?

[rich_1517]

well im not sure what just happened.

 

i sent her an email saying "im taking the pressure off, i dont want a final answer, reconiclliation is a process not a marked line. not so much out of fear as from pushing for something that should come naturally. i still want to get together, i still want you to open up and step outside your comfort zone. i need you to help me keep playing with you."

 

its been silence all day. not a word or phone call. something has changed. it feels very weird. i think i just let her go.

 

she asked if i wanted to go to a friend of hers house saturday. she said that she wanted to take the game we play and show them, that they had a friend coming over. at my expression she said "no hes married, its not a hook up" she then asked if i wanted to go, that she would have to see if that was ok. (this was wednesday). the reality that i am dating may be sinking in and a new phase of her testing the feild may have started. sigh...

 

now on the fear no fear side, this is when she picks up her son and friday till saturday evening she is engulfed in loving him to death. i guess the ball is in her court again. weird. it was the right thing to say. i wouldnt have liked the end result if she gave in under my pushing.

[rich_1517]

i still post here all my fears, doubts, excitements and hopes becuase i cant afford therapy but i also feel if i cant show my true self here im in serious trouble with ego. finding my truth means i have to show someone just whats real, if only for myself to hear it.

 

hey i walk away from my computer saying "i didnt just post that!" but the truth is i feel getting to where i am supposed to be: happy, content, and living in truth is made up of all those things.

 

so i will boor you with little updates.

 

she called and we will see each other this afternoon. tonight wasnt happening (flaked friends). but she was worried that i might be worried. (yeah i know) i played that like a pro. i just said i wanted to plan my night so i need to know.

 

i am focusing on work and improving my financial life now. times have changed and my rates are back up as well as the market. so this is good. I miss traveling (here i come geecee) and well some of the material comforts that come with money. but mostly my self esteem and confidence are rising a lot from this last week.

[rich_1517]

please try to not judge me right now this hurts and feels good. we went to a street painting festival, her son, me and her. the son is clearly in the "us" camp he would hold both our hands then put our hands together. i havent felt the kind of love coming from him for a long time.

 

we did dinner, then went hunting ice cream, she and I kept flirting but cautiuos. no ice cream could be found open so i joked "well if mom will spoon with me we can have ice at your house" she took too long to answer, so i said "too late, but thanks for playing" twenty minutes later she was still thinking about it. surprised i said its ok doesnt have to happen.

 

she said its just im not comfortable sleeping in the same bed right now. i said yeah and the couch is too unitimate for me. i said kind of a dilemma for sleep overs. she said am i ok? i said sure its just what is. i then asked i do wonder if it will change, she said i dont know.

 

its getting closer.

 

but its the son. she said she was tired and i luaghed well you could have my couch. she then asked her son if he wanted to spend the night. i said lets wait. he got really sad. he kept asking me if i would stay or if they would stay here. my heart is breaking now, not for me but for him. she said what if the three of us went camping? i cocked an eyebrow ina gesture of "you might ask me first".

 

so i hugged the boy for some time and said we will do something soon. i told him your mom and i just need to work out sleeping arrangements.

 

she and i have to talk about this really soon. she asked if i was ok, i said im fine but seeing him hurt is killing me. i am doing the right thing either way. he is getting enough of me to know i am still in his life but knows that i am not permanent at the moment.

 

ive changed.

 

on her drive home she called to stay awake. we bantered back and forth for as usual, there is a closeness and connection that is still very strong. i am looking very hard at letting her feel as much independence as possible and no pressure directly. i did say "how am i going to seduce you?" and do you mind that i try, she now is saying no she doesnt most of the time.

 

so now i just keep working on me, being the friend with a hook and letting her talk herself into it (or not).

 

if we look back any number of months now i would say she and i are closer then we were in the months preceding the break up let alone after. we are talking on an emotional level now instead of around it.

[rich_1517]

i have to get her talking or im going to get angry i think. suggesting camping to her son without even talking to me about, knowing i have said my boundaries on this really makes me mad and shows a real disregrard for mine and her sons feelings. maintaining the "staus quo" without taking a risk.

 

this is not good, i have to find a way to tell her that. that if she wants me here, she has to start talking about her feelings and fears, for to me going camping is a romantic relationship with obgligations as well. i aint that much buddy yet! and she must show me something to keep this going.

 

or i will take a couple days to let her think about it.

[guesswho]

Again, I think you need to relax Rich. You told her you were taking off the pressure, now you need to follow through. Relax and enjoy your time together. Show her how fun it can be and how different it is from before.

 

Maybe these two thoughts will help. First, she, you and her son are doing things like a family. From what you've said she seems to be a mother that puts her son first (one of the things you love about her, I'm sure). I can't imagine she would be allow her son to continue to get his hopes up if she doesn't see a future.

 

Second, I think you should be thrilled that camping together was her idea and she feels comfortable enough to suggest it. If you'll think back, not too long ago you were wishing she'd initiate plans. I know sometimes it may not seem like it, but you are making progress.

 

I think your negative thinking right now may stem from the frustration of wanting her to show you some physical affection. Since you said that was always an issue for her, it will probably be the last piece of the puzzle and you may have to try a different approach.

 

If I were you I would consider acting like you've completely lost interest (like she's your buddy) and force her to initiate any contact. Remember we all want what we can't have--and you suddenly backing off may worry her enough to give her the kick she needs. Keep in mind she thinks you're dating others and may attribute your lack of interest to the other woman in your life. Nothing like a little competition to turn up the heat. I wouldn't mention them at all if you can help it....I think talking about it makes you seem like you want to make her jealous and not talking about them makes them more mysterious and threatening.

 

Also, give some thought to accepting some of her overnight invitations. Even if you sleep on the couch, she may realize she likes the feeling of having you there when she wakes up.....and who knows, once you're there what could happen if she doesn't feel pressured.

 

Well, those are my thoughts for now, I'm not promising they will work, but it may be worth a try.

[rich_1517]

Guess, wow, i showed this to my friend and roomate who has had to watch this whole thing unfold and even he doesnt get it. but he said pretty much, yeah. you have a finger on at least one piece of this puzzle, you think of anything else let me know.

 

funny, i havent talked to friends or family about this for a while, no one is surprised we are still dating. (no not becuase i wont walk away) they just arent surprised.

 

scary for me, real scary. the big fear isnt that she will have sex with someone else or even date. i know how i would stack up long run on any of it. no its being ruled out, being the buddy, and she is looking for mr right if I aint it. i cant believe she would be that dishonest. but it is my fear.

 

we know now what is working in her. she is scared ****less of being too close to anyone except her son. its not about sex at all.

 

the next then is approach. i take the camping first and say im more open to trying what is comfortable for her. and yes leave dating out of it. the couch could come after.

 

and you are soooo right. why would i expect her to turn around on sex now when she was glitched even before? very good point. friendship > the family> the heart, > the intimacy.

 

I have to think about the impact on her son. i will find a way to talk to her about that. i think if he could have more time with me it would be ok? Moms out there, your thoughts?

 

this is a dangerous path. but i also know i have made my choice in a long term partner. so ok.

 

L is still coming on strong even with a stiff arm from me saing im not ready. i know what it is, she is trying to win me by any means possible. the more i resist the more she is attracted. i have to think very hard on slowing her down or cutting her off. i may tell her im going camping with the ex.

 

guesswho thanks for the guidedance. its ok to issue a disclaimer, im going to double check all of this internally before i make a move.

[rich_1517]

well heres hoping to selflessness paying off.

 

I am going to stay there wednesday night, and we will go camping probably in a couple weeks or sooner.

 

she asked if i was ok with this. i said well this is your comfort level right now. but i said sure, no problem.

 

its terrifying. its like being the ex husband who is relegated to the couch. but on the other hand its getting us closer too. she is excited about this.

 

now it comes down to dating. and the question again is should i be? probably not. but we do have to sit down and ask "what are we doing?'

 

or not?

[guesswho]

I think the key for you right now is playing it cool. I know you want nothing more than for her to open up, bare her soul and let you in, but realistically I think you're going to have to settle for baby steps for now.

 

As far as her son goes....I know you care deeply for him, but the bottom line is he is her responsibility--and speaking as a mother of an 8 year old, I guarantee she has considered him. My thoughts here are that you have mentioned your concern for him, she agreed with you and yet is proceeding with your relationship. That in itself is a major positive sign for you. If I were you I wouldn't mention it again because it may scare her, pressure her or make her question her decision. Make sure you aren't wanting to discuss this to look for clues or a promise of a future for yourself.

 

As far as intimacy, I did have another thought besides it always being an issue for her. You've mentioned before that you have become more physically attractive while she's put on weight. If any of her intimacy problem has to do with low-self esteem (which it often does), this may be a factor to consider. Make sure she knows you still think she's beautiful.

 

Now the dating other people question. Should you or shouldn't you? I would consider stopping for your sake and for the people you are dating (or tell them you can only see them as friends right now). You don't want to end up doing anything your ex can't "get past" after all your effort. But I would not tell your ex. Don't misunderstand, I am not advocating lying (that's no way to rebuild a relationship), I simply wouldn't offer any information and would be as vague as possible if she brings it up. Your job right now is to be a little bit of a challenge, physically and emotionally, and maintain a little mystery.

 

And last, but not least, have a great time Wednesday night! Relax, have fun, show her what she'd be missing out on if she and her son didn't have you in their life. The fact that she is excited about it should tell you something....I don't remember being excited to have a "buddy" stay overnight since I left grade school!

 

Good Luck!!!

[rich_1517]