How can someone be so cruel?

[lostwife]

My husband of 22 years and I are going through a divorce. He told me two weeks before Christmas he didn't want me anymore. In the beginning I was devastated. I begged groveled you name it. but here comes the Divorce. I had to go my Lawyers yesterday to respond to some things he is saying to his Lawyer. He claims I have become hostile and abusive. I of course denied it. My Lawyer said they are doing it to get me out of the house faster. He told me not to worry just be on my best behavior. I have still been cooking cleaning doing the laundry ect. How can he be so cruel he knows I have nowhere to go yet.

[avman]

It's a way he can justify the divorce in his own mind. If he convinces himself and others that you are cruel and abusive then it makes the divorce "ok". So he's probably looking for things to justify his actions.

[Clabs]

Hi there Lostwife

 

It is so sad that somebody who once loved you can become so cold and cruel.

 

The trouble is that once the divorce gravy train starts, it is easy to get sucked in, which it sounds he has been. All bets are off and on come the boxing gloves.

 

How is it that he is able to turf you out of your home? You are most certainly not in the UK!

 

The lawyers often do send very hostile letters suggesting that you did all sorts of nasty things. I was accused of breaking into the ex's car and stealing the family dog. Quite ridiculous but hutful just the same.

 

Your attacks seem more personal but the best advice I can give is to do what your lawyer says. Keep cool and calm if you can, at least for the time being. No easy task, I know.

 

One thing is for sure - your ex is no longer your friend so look out ONLY for you now.

 

Keep your chin up hun.

 

Mark

[norsewoman]

I bet he has a new love interest. Often, spouses find a billion things wrong with their spouse in order to justify their affair. Do some sleuthing and see if your attorney can throw some monkey-wrenches your hubby's way!

[Theblueman123]

Maybe he just wants out and doesn't have an "affair" partner, it's hard to tell anything without details lol.

[mgirl]

Just keep being yourself and be true to yourself. When this wind washes past, the only thing you are left with is your SELF, so make it a good one!

[lostwife]

I didn't have to investigate, he does have someone else. He said he loves me but he wants a romantic love. In Michigan it doesen't matter if a spouse is having an affair. It is a no fault State so its just everything 50/50. I guess he just can't wait for the Divorce to be over and he wants rid of me now!!! His family is devastated and totally on my side. His father thinks its a midlife thing and he is going to be sorry later. I have done alot for his family and they will always be there for me. I took care of his dieing Grandmother,took care of his mother when she went through her cancer, took care of his brother after his motorcycle accident and so on. His parents have already offered me to stay at their home if things get to out of control. But for now I will be a model citizen and just suck it up! It hurts don't get me wrong, we have three wonderful children and two beautiful grandchildren together. So some good things came out of this. It will just take time to get past the hurt of having someone who you trusted your life with destroy you within a few weeks. Thanks to all your responses!

[norsewoman]

I'm glad his family is supportive of you. What an awful situation! There are lots of books out there to help you deal with this sort of loss...I suggest you look for some. Take care, and hang in there...