Rearden Metal Posted February 19, 2010 Author Share Posted February 19, 2010 About to head to bed... NC today at all. I hope she's feeling at least a little better. Tomorrow is Frrriiiiiiiiiiiiiidaaaaaaaaaaaay... I have no plans yet but something will probably pop up! Link to comment
Rearden Metal Posted February 19, 2010 Author Share Posted February 19, 2010 Good morning ENA's- Ughhh I miss her. NC yesterday after an emotional Day 2. I guess that makes today Day 2A. I need to keep focused on myself. I'm worried because I don't have plans tonight, and being single on a Friday night with no plans is craptastic. I know she has plans to go to a toy party with her girlfriends, and she'll probably go out afterwards. I'm half upset but also half really happy for her and hope she has a great time and starts to feel better. I need to trust that things will be ok. It's hard for me to do. So I'll focus on some work, will hit the gym hard again today too. I'm starting to resemble summer body shape which is encouraging. And I'm sure I'll be on here posting gibberish, too... Link to comment
Rearden Metal Posted February 19, 2010 Author Share Posted February 19, 2010 Oh, one thing I've noticed... Since the breakup, I can't sit and read a book. Usually I love to sit and immerse myself in a good book but it's been impossible. My mind wanders to her and I stare out the window. Link to comment
Cheeks18 Posted February 19, 2010 Share Posted February 19, 2010 Maybe ya need a new book?? haha... What are you trying to read at the moment? Link to comment
Rearden Metal Posted February 19, 2010 Author Share Posted February 19, 2010 Maybe ya need a new book?? haha... What are you trying to read at the moment? Oh man, I'm that guy who reads 5-6 books at once. I tried to read Courts of the Sun... didn't grab me. I think the last book I read was "Bright Shiny Morning" by James Frey. It was ok at best. I just can't concentrate.. Link to comment
Cheeks18 Posted February 19, 2010 Share Posted February 19, 2010 Oh man, I'm that guy who reads 5-6 books at once. I tried to read Courts of the Sun... didn't grab me. I think the last book I read was "Bright Shiny Morning" by James Frey. It was ok at best. I just can't concentrate.. Sounds like you get some reading done (Usually), lol. Idk lately Ive been into Harlan Coben, he does the opposite to me of whats happening to you...I get infatuated in his books and cant put it down till Im done..."Tell No One" is one of his best books.... Other then that buddy, just stay strong and keep going...I know its kind of early on for you, and Ive been through it. But just keep in your mind and heart that your going to fall in love again...with your ex or a new found love. So no matter what these feelings will leave, and the great feeling of being in love will be present again. Just give it time!!! Link to comment
Rearden Metal Posted February 19, 2010 Author Share Posted February 19, 2010 Thanks dude, really truly appreciated! Link to comment
Rearden Metal Posted February 19, 2010 Author Share Posted February 19, 2010 Random thought. I hope she decides to have lesbian sex if she decides to sex someone. That's my "thought of the day". Link to comment
Rearden Metal Posted February 19, 2010 Author Share Posted February 19, 2010 *Unexpected update* Out of the blue, I just up and decided to email my ex wife. The last we had spoken, 8, 9, 10 months ago or something, she told me it was our last contact. We had been NC the whole time. I got over her, fully. Today, I sent this: Hi, I'm not sure if this is appropriate to tell you... but you know me, I've never been appropriate. I recently checked out pics of you on here, and I felt really good about how happy you look. I don't have the least bit of bitterness left. Ok, well I think I do towards Andrew, but I'm not sure how much of that is just me telling myself I should. He's a decent dude, all in all. Just rubs me the wrong way. I digress. Anyway, the point was that your ass looks hot in that picture. I meant the point is that it rocks that you are apparently doing well. HOWEVER... I'm not really in a spot to be friends. I don't think I have anything great to offer you in terms of friendship, but maybe someday I can. I'm working really hard on myself and doing things I put aside waaaaay back when we met. Art (ZOMBIE comic! Clothing line!) is back! I'm going to therapy. An actual therapist, not a The Rapist like the lady in CO. Anywho, carry on! Don't feel the need to respond to this, either. Punch Andrew in the nads for me! Bye, And she replied with: I'm not sure what prompted this, but thanks for the ass compliment... I think. I'm glad that you are working on yourself and that you are doing the things that you like to do. I find that's important part of life and am happy for you. I will not punch Andrew in the nads for you, but I will carry on! TTT and my last reply: Idk what prompted it either. I've felt this way for a while. It took me mega long to not feel upset about you/us/life. Ok, well I'm still rather upset about life, but I'm doing something about it. I guess probably also breaking up w my GF was a factor. The relationship was nothing like ours was, and it was challenging to say the least. No idea what will happen with that going forward, but I started making a conscious effort at doing * * * * I needed to do for myself. Man, it's almost like I'd love to talk to you about it, but that I really just don't know what I'm offering you in return. I'm learning how to even just be a good friend to people in general. I'm lucky to have really great people who haven't given up on me. Oh, and ya the ass thing was a compliment. You're lookin' good! Link to comment
Rearden Metal Posted February 20, 2010 Author Share Posted February 20, 2010 *Unexpected Update Part 2* Looks like NC isn't going to happen... She texted me tonight while she was out snow tubing with her girlfriends. Short text conversation, but later when she got home she called me. We chatted a bit about light stuff, then a bit more about our feelings... I asked if we could have lunch tomorrow and she said yes. I'm hoping my friend in her area wants to go out so I don't have to drive 90 miles and then come home, but * * * * , I will if I have to! Link to comment
Rearden Metal Posted February 20, 2010 Author Share Posted February 20, 2010 Oops, sorry mods about my potty mouth. Old habits... Link to comment
Tired Tiger Posted February 20, 2010 Share Posted February 20, 2010 Sounds like a plan! Will you be showing up for lunch with that thing on your head? Link to comment
Rearden Metal Posted February 20, 2010 Author Share Posted February 20, 2010 Ha...maybe.. but probably more like this.. Link to comment
Rearden Metal Posted February 20, 2010 Author Share Posted February 20, 2010 I'm actually nervous for a host of reasons. One, I want to be attractive. I feel like my wardrobe is tired and she's seen everything I own. What do I wear! Two, will she open up, even just a little? She said that being NC doesn't work on "us", but I know it's her that will always break the NC and that I don't know her motives. Is she just keeping tabs on me, being possessive? Or is she missing me, and wanting to hear from and see me? I need to hear how she feels about things, and she's never been good at talking about it. Three, she's going out tonight. I am too, separately. There's always a bit of jealousy between us about going out without each other. It's a trust issue, and I'd love to be the one to get over it first, but I'm not sure how. I just want to feel secure and I definitely do not. Link to comment
soulsearchin25 Posted February 20, 2010 Share Posted February 20, 2010 I'm actually nervous for a host of reasons. One, I want to be attractive. I feel like my wardrobe is tired and she's seen everything I own. What do I wear! As far as what to wear. You have two otions. go out and buy yourself something that makes you look great and feel good. Something you know she'll see you in and be like "damn!". Or you can wear something she has already seen you in. But in can like something she has complimented you on. Maybe a favorite shirt she likes or something she thought made you look hot and told you so. As a woman, just from experience, seeing someone I liked or even a bf in something I had complimented him on or a favorite shirt or something bought back good memories of the first time I saw them wear it. Can't hurt...... Link to comment
Rearden Metal Posted February 20, 2010 Author Share Posted February 20, 2010 I think it's new clothes time... I hear what you're saying SS25 but I'm thinking I want to feel so fresh and so clean clean! Link to comment
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