Friend or My own foe?

[uhohlala]

Kids b-day party...I know both of the parents...granted, he realizes we would of had friends with kids of the same age together...doesn't matter.

 

What a heartless sh*t. Manipulator.

 

Yuck yuck yuck. Yikes!

[uhohlala]

They are right...don't sweat it! If you feel you need to answer him and make a clean break then take some time and write a clean concise response. Only you know what's best for you. So if you need to respond and tell him it over then do it.

 

Then block his phone number, his e-mail his FB every possible way he has to try to contact you and then take a little vacation or at least an afternoon at the spa to clear your mind and get back to doing things for YOU!

 

Yes indeedy!

[tattoobunnie]

I've gotten #1 use to me not replying to communication right away...#2, just haven't exchanged any communication with him since Tues...

 

Then both have recently become my FB buds. One just donated a nice amount to this fundraiser of mine. And both signed up for this event, one after the other...I bet if they got in a room together, they'd high-five.

[tattoobunnie]

Hmm...perhaps I will be moving over to another section..."I pick the wrong men" section. hahahhaha

[uhohlala]

Hmm...perhaps I will be moving over to another section..."I pick the wrong men" section. hahahhaha

 

Sigh, I belong in that section.

[tattoobunnie]

I dreamt last night I was in Ex #2s house. It wasn't his actual house, but in the dream it was...it was bright and beautiful on the inside, adorned with long curtains. In one room there was a light ceiling to floor curtain that wrapped around this empty round bassinet. I was confused as to why it was there, and wanted to ask him about it, but didn't. Then don't remember if there was anything else.

 

Strange.

 

Many times before Ex #1 and I broke-up, I constantly dreamt of him breaking up with me, and doing it coldly as well. He called this morning...wondering what's up with the no return messages. Ex #2...still sending out dorky messages.

 

Like smoking...gotta quit.

[MakestheBest]

Maybe you see Ex #2's relationship with you as more beautiful with better "home and future" possibilities...Bassinet reads baby or birth or rebirth to me or perhaps cleanliness... I dunno

 

btw...bassinet huh? Now I think you're british or caribbean still working on it.

[VeraLynn]

I read through a bit of your post, but things have probably progressed since the original. I was once stuck between two guys, it makes you want to crawl into a hole and sleep because its so emotionally exhausting! Also, sometimes you don't want to make the wrong decision so you just don't make one and continue to stay stagnant with both of them because its easier.. and at that point you kind of look at the consequences with a "whatever happens, happens" mindset.

 

I think your numbness is probably just from mental exhaustion.. But the idea of #2 not wanting you might spark the "want what you cannot have" interest. It makes someone much more attractive because of their confidence and lack of care; whereas, ex #1 is already there and you know that, there really isnt any more work involved.

 

So, it's probably not a fear of commitment, it's probably just the sense of exhilaration for wanting what you cannot have.. People are always more attractive when they don't want us; its the plague that comes with being human.

 

Maybe.

[tattoobunnie]

Hi Everyone...so it's been a week just about, where I've broken away from them. Of course, I've gotten the phone, email, text from #1, and the texts from #2 who also sent me one on Friday saying, "u suck!!!!!" followed with a late night phone call I didn't answer.

 

It dawned on me...I've been dating the same person. While outwardly, they are both complete opposites, they have very much the same deficiencies. Both want the ideal, the perfect mate, but are not willing to do the work to keep them. Both are insecure and selfish...and boring.

 

I've decided to drop them like a bad habit. Now, it's up to me to not choose people like this. Sure, I miss #2, but we were good friends. It's normal to mourn. Still, I need to walk away. Be open to deserving men.

 

On another humorous note, which adds to my new theory that I pick the wrong men. I'm out on Saturday night with a good buddy. I start chatting these two older gentlemen who are out for a friend's b-day. One of the gentlemen brings over the b-day boy, and boasts about how good of a guy he is. We chat, hang out, dance, have fun, I agree to give him my number, and smooch good-bye. Turns out, I find out from my buddy who heard it from his co-worker, that the whole b-day party was thrown by the b-day boy's girlfriend.

 

YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So right now, just experimenting...let my friends and family do the due diligence on a guy they may believe is a good match for me. Cuz obviously...me, blinded.

[1guygirl]

Hi Everyone...so it's been a week just about, where I've broken away from them. Of course, I've gotten the phone, email, text from #1, and the texts from #2 who also sent me one on Friday saying, "u suck!!!!!" followed with a late night phone call I didn't answer.

 

It dawned on me...I've been dating the same person. While outwardly, they are both complete opposites, they have very much the same deficiencies. Both want the ideal, the perfect mate, but are not willing to do the work to keep them. Both are insecure and selfish...and boring.

 

I've decided to drop them like a bad habit. Now, it's up to me to not choose people like this. Sure, I miss #2, but we were good friends. It's normal to mourn. Still, I need to walk away. Be open to deserving men.

 

this ooozes strength...i love it

[LoveSoDeep]

Yay! I'm so glad to see that you are doing better! I know it's hard with them texing and calling and what not but you seem so determined and I know you can do it.

 

Good for you getting out there and mixing and mingling! Yes...it may be a good idea to let your friends help you out a little but it's not your fault the guy was a complete d-bag he should have told you he had a girlfriend...that's on him and his buddies...that's just one more phone call not to answer but that one will be easy!

[MakestheBest]

I'm ecstatic! Sounds like you're doing verrrry well.

[tattoobunnie]

I'm doing good...till a just now moment of ugh, when the best friend sends me relationship articles, which of course makes me think about sending them to Ex #2. Although, now that I'm on an open path, picking up a book this site is recommending..."Discover Your True Dating Personality and Rewrite Your Romantic Future"

 

It's pretty much about women getting jaded over time, and form defense coping mechanisms, and how to clean the slate to be open in finding the good guy, and knowing it.

 

It's interesting how when you're young, the thought that you'd one day be reading self-help books does not occur. Whatever...anything to get out of this crud pattern. Aiming to mix it up this year...I am in no mood for broken record (round & around) moments.

[LoveSoDeep]

Amen Sister!

 

I know when I was young I was sure I would be in an entirely different spot than I am right now...but I just remind myself all that matters is right now and what will come. I can't change the past. So onwards and upwards!

[tattoobunnie]

After a few of #2's big-baby like texts (all flustered from me ignoring him), I finally tell him straight that I had to curtail the booty call trend of events. Then he goes in a big slew of banter.

 

I don't know. I guess I take it easy on him, humor him, cuz I know I didn't do right by him. Even with reading up on this books, they make it sound like he was in fact a good guy I pushed away. He really tried to see things through for a long time, but I wasn't budging. My mom says I should stay friends with him. And with all the things he says that I make out to be silly, that I need to give him time, cuz he needs to see that I could do right by him.

 

He and I have talked about this, and if it was the other way around, I'd be the one sketchy about getting back together, and probably thinking it wasn't meant to be. I know if he was the way I was, I wouldn't have put up with it. So, yeah, I got a soft spot for him.

 

I know what I want, what my limits are, and (insert wonderful positive statements about what we had, blah, blah). I think I will accept being friends with him, and work on myself. I got a lot going on that I'm looking forward to. Time to smell the roses and let things develop on their own.

[MakestheBest]

Well you know where to find support when you need it. You're being very strong-Lady. I'm proud of you. And thats real.