from so beutiful,to so ugly

[ilios69]

hello all can someone explain to me how a beutiful relationship,from dreaming about spending the rest of your life with someone,to wanting to start a family with this person,turns into a horrible relationship to not being able to stand the person anymore.how does this happen i was just curious if anyone had the answer to this.

[ziggystar]

simple. there was more value placed on the dream then the reality. i know. i've done the same.

[Hannibal]

They say that one surefire way to blow a relationship is to focus on the future. This is so true and it makes the end of the relationship so friking hard because you feel so lost and alone because the plans have been taken from you. When we make plans for the future we tend to forget about how to get there. Its really sad how this happens so often.

[aireyc]

Hey,

 

The above are so true, but I wanted to add that we sometimes don't know our partner all too well. Because of this, they may do something unexpected that will change the way we look at them. This can be a major blow. Anything out of the ordinary can easily have a negative effect.

 

- Chris

[OceanEyes]

Simple answer: People change and grow as human beings. There is no guarantee that you will be the same person with the same ideals and goals in a year, or even within a month. Also, human beings are mostly good, but there are a lot of people who are very selfish when it comes down to it (which is something I've learned the hard way).

[hurtbylove]

Yes, it is amazing how quickly people can change.

 

Emotions can come on very strong, and fade just as easily I have discovered.

[sweetharmony]

Yes, I've been know to daydream and fantasize. Every time my feelings come on so strong, they end up fading as quickly as they came. I would call those feelings mostly infatuation than real love. Real love doesn't come into play until you really know a person. People are in love w/ the idea of being in love and they are blinded by the rose-colored glasses. Often, i find myself planning "our" future, forgetting to live in the moment and this has ruined my last two relationships. Or....it's the other way around. People get so caught up in the moment that they rarely think "is this person compatible for me?" would this person be good to me. do they fill my needs? are they supportive. They get caught up in a fantasy and do not know this person really. Once they get to know the person, they realize that the person is not the person they "fell" for. in fact, sometimes the person is quite different. I've done this before.

[tiff8434]

I think that people just choose to be that way for whatever reason. Im my situation it is my ex's way of dealing with our breaking up. Instead of being sad about it it is easier to be mean and hateful.

[ilios69]

i dont mean short term relationships,i was talking about long term relationships.one that has been going on for years,what causes these changes how could you be happy with someone for 4 yrs and in a couple of months it turns to crap.

[bathman123]

Harcam,

 

I completely understand what you are saying. My GF for 4.5 years now all of a sudden wants her space and wants to hang out with another guy. We were very close to being engaged. Now all of a sudden my world is in shambles. Her reason was she met someone that she felt something with that she only thought she could feel with me. Its only been 1.5 weeks but it feels like an eternity. I know I am probably pathetic for thinking that she will stay with me but I keep holding out hope. Hope things work out for you!