Do You Believe You Can Love Someone Without Trusting Them?

[RougeKali823]

I've always believed it was possible but everyone I talk to thinks that it's impossible. Do you think love without trust is possible?

[Seraphim]

I am REALLY hard pressed to believe that. Some people believe some forms of love are possible when you do not trust someone. I do not trust my dad any farther than I can throw him,but yet I do love him. That is a love for humanity though. I think if you are thinking about a partner relationship you HAVE to trust them or it is not real love.

[WomanWriter]

No, I don't think it is. If you don't trust a person, you have douts. There is no room for doubt with love. Love requires trust because how can you give it freely if you think your partner is going to hurt you? You can try, but it would be crossing the line into being a codependent doormat.

 

In order to have a healthy love, you have to trust your partner's intentions. Then you can give freely without feeling like you will be used, abused, or otherwise cheated.

[_Asti_]

I think having a long term healthy relationship without trust isn't possible.

To me, trust is the most basic foundation of a relationship. Without that foundation, how can the love grow? Thats important. Lack of trust inhibits the growth of love. So, sure you may love them to a certain degree, but really don't think it will go anywhere..or atleast go where a good, healthy relationship should end up.

Lack of trusts eats away at a relationship, eats away at love. I think believing you are in love with them, and what you have is love is probably just more of a wish, an illusion, a hope. If you can't trust them fully, I don't think you can love them fully.

[RougeKali823]

I am REALLY hard pressed to believe that. Some people believe some forms of love are possible when you do not trust someone. I do not trust my dad any farther than I can throw him,but yet I do love him. That is a love for humanity though. I think if you are thinking about a partner relationship you HAVE to trust them or it is not real love.

 

I believe it's possible and I feel the same way about my dad because he rarely keeps his word. I have also been in two long term relationships and never trusted any of my exes and I loved them all.

[Seraphim]

I believe it's possible and I feel the same way about my dad because he rarely keeps his word. I have also been in two long term relationships and never trusted any of my exes and I loved them all.

 

But is it full love? I am not so sure.

[RougeKali823]

No, I don't think it is. If you don't trust a person, you have douts. There is no room for doubt with love. Love requires trust because how can you give it freely if you think your partner is going to hurt you? You can try, but it would be crossing the line into being a codependent doormat.

 

In order to have a healthy love, you have to trust your partner's intentions. Then you can give freely without feeling like you will be used, abused, or otherwise cheated.

 

I think I give freely in my relationships but with the understanding that I will never fully trust my bfs.

[_Asti_]

I believe it's possible and I feel the same way about my dad because he rarely keeps his word. I have also been in two long term relationships and never trusted any of my exes and I loved them all.

 

Have you been in a good healthy relationshp where there was 100% full trust from both sides? I think you discover a totally different type of real love when trust is the foundation.

[RougeKali823]

But is it full love? I am not so sure.

 

For one of them I was really in love and I would have done anything for him. I think it was full love. It lasted for 7 years.

[WomanWriter]

I think I give freely in my relationships but with the understanding that I will never fully trust my bfs.

 

To be honest, I don't really see that as love. If you give to people you don't trust, I see that as false hope. Why would you continue to give freely to someone who doesn't deserve your trust? You may still respect them and treat them with decency and human compassion, but to keep giving freely to them means something other than love, IMO. Not saying we don't all do it at one time or another. But we have to ask ourselves: is that love?

[RougeKali823]

Have you been in a good healthy relationshp where there was 100% full trust from both sides? I think you discover a totally different type of real love when trust is the foundation.

 

No, I don't think I have ever been in a relationship like that. My bf usually trusts me more than I trust him. It's like that in my friendships too, they all trust me more than I trust them.

[Lucius]

Yes, I think it is possible to love someone without trusting them. It is not uncommon that a person loves their partner, is betrayed by them, and now (whilst still loving them) cannot fully trust them. The change in trust does not kill off or prohibit love in all (or even most) cases.

 

I do wonder, however, how long love would LAST under those circumstances. Love needs trust to flourish fully; they are complimentary and related forces. But yes, love can (and often does) survive those times where trust is ebbing.

[RougeKali823]

I think having a long term healthy relationship without trust isn't possible.

To me, trust is the most basic foundation of a relationship. Without that foundation, how can the love grow? Thats important. Lack of trust inhibits the growth of love. So, sure you may love them to a certain degree, but really don't think it will go anywhere..or atleast go where a good, healthy relationship should end up.

Lack of trusts eats away at a relationship, eats away at love. I think believing you are in love with them, and what you have is love is probably just more of a wish, an illusion, a hope. If you can't trust them fully, I don't think you can love them fully.

 

What is full love?

[Seraphim]

To be honest, I don't really see that as love. If you give to people you don't trust, I see that as false hope. Why would you continue to give freely to someone who doesn't deserve your trust? You may still respect them and treat them with decency and human compassion, but to keep giving freely to them means something other than love, IMO. Not saying we don't all do it at one time or another. But we have to ask ourselves: is that love?

 

Yes, exactly.

[WomanWriter]

Yes, I think it is possible to love someone without trusting them. It is not uncommon that a person loves their partner, is betrayed by them, and now (whilst still loving them) cannot fully trust them. The change in trust does not kill off or prohibit love in all (or even most) cases.QUOTE]

 

I don't think that is love either. I think it is an attachment to the person.

[RougeKali823]

Yes, I think it is possible to love someone without trusting them. It is not uncommon that a person loves their partner, is betrayed by them, and now (whilst still loving them) cannot fully trust them. The change in trust does not kill off or prohibit love in all (or even most) cases.

 

I do wonder, however, how long love would LAST under those circumstances. Love needs trust to flourish fully; they are complimentary and related forces. But yes, love can (and often does) survive those times where trust is ebbing.

 

It lasted 7 years for me once. Then 2 years after that. (I'm 23 so I've been thinking this way in relationships for the whole time I've been dating).

[Seraphim]

Yes, I think it is possible to love someone without trusting them. It is not uncommon that a person loves their partner, is betrayed by them, and now (whilst still loving them) cannot fully trust them. The change in trust does not kill off or prohibit love in all (or even most) cases.

 

I do wonder, however, how long love would LAST under those circumstances. Love needs trust to flourish fully; they are complimentary and related forces. But yes, love can (and often does) survive those times where trust is ebbing.

 

I think that is more despiration to keep them with you so you do not have to go through the process of finding someone you DO trust.

[absinthe]

I think that initially, when you fall in love with them, you do trust them to a reasonable degree. As the relationship progresses, when trust is slowly eroded, the love also erodes to the level where cessation of the relationship happens, unless trust can be rebuilt.

[RougeKali823]

Yes, I think it is possible to love someone without trusting them. It is not uncommon that a person loves their partner, is betrayed by them, and now (whilst still loving them) cannot fully trust them. The change in trust does not kill off or prohibit love in all (or even most) cases.QUOTE]

 

I don't think that is love either. I think it is an attachment to the person.

 

I would agree with this. Sometimes I can't tell the difference because they always say they love and trust me and I am wondering if I really love them or am just strongly attached?

[RougeKali823]

I think that initially, when you fall in love with them, you do trust them to a reasonable degree. As the relationship progresses, when trust is slowly eroded, the love also erodes to the level where cessation of the relationship happens, unless trust can be rebuilt.

 

I never thought rebuilding trust was entirely possible. I tend to go into relationships and don't trust each man and then wait for them to show me that I can maybe trust them.

[LAYAAN]

I'm only answering to the Q asked in the title of the thread - NO. No trust, not worthy of being loved (by me). He may find someone else.

Marriage is a serious adult relationship where I'll take adult decision like finances, kids, property etc. with this man. I NEED to trust him. If I can't find him trustworthy, I'm out of there.

[_Asti_]

What is full love?

 

Giving yourself completely to someone without fear. And someone giving themself competely to you with no fear.

To put yourself in someones hands and knowing that they will not hurt you, or whatever it is you fear.

When you let your walls down completely, and have a partner that does the same because there's no fear.

Its when they have all of you, and you have all of them and theres just acceptance, respect, commitment, etc.

Lack of trust prevents you from giving it all, taking it all. There's always that guard up.

[RougeKali823]

Giving yourself completely to someone without fear. And someone giving themself competely to you with no fear.

To put yourself in someones hands and knowing that they will not hurt you, or whatever it is you fear.

When you let your walls down completely, and have a partner that does the same because there's no fear.

Its when they have all of you, and you have all of them and theres just acceptance, respect, commitment, etc.

Lack of trust prevents you from giving it all, taking it all. There's always that guard up.

 

Don't believe I've ever fully loved then. I think I've been fully loved though.

[_Asti_]

Don't believe I've ever fully loved then. I think I've been fully loved though.

 

I think its mutual though. If you have trust issues, are you really giving all yourself to be loved?

[Seraphim]

Giving yourself completely to someone without fear. And someone giving themself competely to you with no fear.

To put yourself in someones hands and knowing that they will not hurt you, or whatever it is you fear.

When you let your walls down completely, and have a partner that does the same because there's no fear.

Its when they have all of you, and you have all of them and theres just acceptance, respect, commitment, etc.

Lack of trust prevents you from giving it all, taking it all. There's always that guard up.

 

 

This is a very good description.