Feeling incredibly empty and struggling to find a reason why...

[unluckyguy]

Hi everyone,

 

I really don't know what forum to add this message to so I picked “emotions and feelings” as it seemed quite apt.

 

Basically I haven't felt like "myself" since about June last year; I feel really down and I can't enjoy anything - even the things I really love to do - I get the old "can't be bothered attitude" all the time. This isn’t from a lack of trying – I have tried everything!

 

I think I am suffering from depression but the more I try to fight through it the darker everything becomes; I think I hit the bottom and then another 100ft of crap opens up beneath me. I have tried changing jobs; changing home life; trying to put a positive face on things but nothing I have done has made the slightest bit of difference and I’m starting to lose my grip on life.

 

I know I could go to a doctor; but all they would do is fill me with anti-depressants rather than curing the problem – i.e. why the hell do I feel so bad? I have a happy home life; a job I should enjoy; nice friends; a nice potential relationship on the cards but even despite this I feel suicidal most of the time.

 

I have made several attempts to end my life recently - not as a cry for help; nobody even knows what i've done (overdosed on things) although I have found that my body is rather resilient to my attempts to destroy it - I don't even appear to be able to do that correctly!

 

Can someone - anyone shed some light on my situation; maybe give me some things I could try to do to rediscover the old me? This definitely isn't a "i'm going to kill myself" post but I hear those voices in my head all the time and I want them to stop!

 

Help!

[cbh1979]

I'm sort of in the same boat, but without the happy home life or potential relationship. I can tell you from experience that the right doctor can do much more than just hand you a prescription.

 

I understand not wanting to go that route though. Do you have a good friend you feel comfortable in confiding in?

[unluckyguy]

Not really - I guess that might be part of the problem - although this is something that I don't really want to share with anyone else if I can sort it out...

[catfeeder]

You're right that a typical MD might put you on meds, but that's like taking a menstrual problem to an MD instead of a gynecologist. If you have a job with medical coverage, mental health is likely part of your policy. I'd research psychologists in your plan and make an appointment for an assessment.

 

You don't necessarily need to go the drug route unless a two-pronged rather than three-pronged approach fails, and those prongs would be a combo of talk-therapy plus exercise (works wonders for many) before taking a referral to a psychiatrist who can also prescribe meds.

 

A psychologist won't withhold such a referral should you ultimately decide you want to add drug therapy because most can consult with such a specialist within their own practice and have that Dr. conduct an assessment and supervise your therapy if you choose to remain with your psychologist.

 

Point is, you don't know how treatment will work for you if you don't try it, and it's not fair to yourself to just decide you know what the outcome will be. While it's true that even the best therapist can't do your work FOR you, they've certainly seen your symptoms before and are trained to help people through it.

 

I hope you'll consider this, and my heart goes out to you.

[justhere]

Not really - I guess that might be part of the problem - although this is something that I don't really want to share with anyone else if I can sort it out...

 

Feeling empty is a terrible thing. It can make everyday a fight to survive.

 

Sometimes expressing these things can help. If you don't mind me asking why don't you really want to share this with anyone else?