I don't know if this is normal or not

[bobsiesprincess]

I really don't know what to do or how I feel and its really upsetting me. Please don't judge me I feel guilty to be even thinking like this at all.

 

I have been with my boyfriend for coming up for 2 years. I just dont feel happy anymore and I don't know if its in my relationship or its caused by everything else going on in my life.

 

He's a good boyfriend, my family/friends love him, I should feel settled but I dont. A few of my friends have got married/moved in with their partners recently and the thought of it terrifies me. I used to imagine us moving in together etc but now I'm not sure how I can tell if we're really right for each other.

 

I have been feeling unsure for a while, but am scared if I finish with him it will be a huge mistake. On paper he is perfect for me so why cant I appreciate what I have?

 

To make matters worse I have started to develop a huge soft spot for a trainer in the gym. My friend says its ok to window shop, but is this normal in a relationship?

 

Im just so confused, any insight on my situation would be great.

[maverick554]

What it boils down to is you just have to ask yourself if you think you two are right for each other. Sometimes in a relationship a person can feel trapped, i.e. why the thought of moving in or marrying him terrifies you. And this can cause feelings that the relationship is in trouble.

[pumpkinmoon]

I think a lot of people would say it is normal but it's not something that has ever happened to me in my current relationship.

 

Just because your bf is perfect for you on paper, doesn't mean that is the case. If you don't feel the same anymore you just don't.

 

Maybe you could take some time away from him for a while so you can see what life is like without him and see if he is the reason you are feeling this way.

[thejigsup]

A sure sign that the person you are with is not working for you is if you start to have "soft spots" in your heart for other people. My bf and I got together in a very pragmatic way. We window shopped online for a person who shared our values and interests. We were never "in love" or had a honeymoon phase. We look good on paper and that works for us. I have never even looked at another man in ten years. If you have a feeling this isn't right for you, it probably isn't. You have to make it work for you. Hey, I'm not "in love" with my bf and he is not "in love" with me. But we love each other and do not ever think of breaking up.

[CaliDreaming89]

Its not healthy 2 be thinkin of other men when ur with sum1 but hun thats not your fault,ur only human, i jus think your not ready 4 a real relationship right now, its not that you dont love him, ur jus not done experimenting with other men...i'd rec amend some time away from each other so you can go out with other guys and see where u wanna be

[bobsiesprincess]

i do ask myself if we are right for each other but the truth is...I really don't know.

 

I think time apart is probably what I need, I just don't want to hurt him or make a mistake. I'm really scared.

[jul-els]

A sure sign that the person you are with is not working for you is if you start to have "soft spots" in your heart for other people. My bf and I got together in a very pragmatic way. We window shopped online for a person who shared our values and interests. We were never "in love" or had a honeymoon phase. We look good on paper and that works for us. I have never even looked at another man in ten years. If you have a feeling this isn't right for you, it probably isn't. You have to make it work for you. Hey, I'm not "in love" with my bf and he is not "in love" with me. But we love each other and do not ever think of breaking up.

 

Sounds like you're in a healthy, loving relationship. That's "in love" as far as I know. Being googly, mushy and maudlin is just hormonal. Not saying there's anything wrong with that, but I don't think it's a prerequisite.

 

OP: It sounds like you may want to consider taking a break from your relationship if you are truly feeling the desire to date others.