Erase the message!!

[bostonchiiiiica]

I was doing really well and now my feelings are all screwed up again!

 

He ended our 4 year relationship 2 months ago because he wanted to be free of our unhappy relationship that just needed some work on my part. He refused to give it another chance after a month of begging and pleading. So, I leave the state and use no contact. He calls me a week after this, saying he's just calling to see how I'm doing. He calls me the next night semi-drunken and says he misses me. I finally called him back the next day and we had a short, superficial conversation. That was a week ago. Since he had been the first to contact me, I decided this week to just leave him a message saying hi like he did the first time to me. I thought the lines of communication were open. So I left this message 2 days ago, and I find out last night that some girl he has been hanging out with a lot listened to it and told him he should erase it. WHAT IS THAT? For one, he told me he does not want a relationship, he wants to be free. Now he's already hanging around some stupid girl he works with. She's like a freaking drinking buddy of his since his new freedom...do guys really want to have a relationship with a drinking buddy?? How can he be hanging around her, and how could he let this girl who does not know me listen to a personal message when this 4 year relationship, which means nothing to her, is so fresh? For some reason this hurt so bad and now all I can think about is him with this new girl and I just want to cry. How do I deal with this? Will this relationship last? Everyone keeps telling me he is in a phase where he wants to party all of the time, and he will eventually grow out of it. Should I be waiting for him? What is this girl? Do you think he will call me back when he is the one who started the contact? Is he really not thinking about me already? I love him so much and all of this is driving me crazy...he was so in love with me, and now it's like he's a completely different person...is it a phase? Will he realize what he lost later (me)? Help!!

[dikaia880]

The only answer that is right (unfortunately) is Maybe...

 

I know that doesn't help, but it's the truth...

 

I do the same thing, will she miss me and realise what she lost? Maybe...

 

There's a song by Jack Johnson where the lyric goes "it seems to me maybe, pretty much always means no." I don't think thats necessarily true, but the question is do we hold on to a maybe?

 

Like I said I ask all these questions too, but the real question is what do we gain from asking questions that cannot be answered....the answer is nothing...I am much happier on the days when I'm able not to ask them...but it's hard not to...

 

I feel ya, it does get easier though (yeah I know, you've heard it before) but it's true....Best of luck, and sorry your having to go through this...

[redsuede]

I have been going through this whole thinking process and exactly what you are dealing with for 5 years. I have found the key for me anyway. First of all, I deserve better. I know this. I read on here once that someone who doesnt know how much you are worth does not deserve you. Second of all, what is that? He dumps you, gives you some excuse so that he can do what he wants, calls you and says he misses you, Girl, obviously you meant something to him or he wouldnt call and try to keep you on a string. It feels good to cut that string and KNOW you are worth more. If you can control your thoughts and keep it focused on how you are being treated then it makes things a lot different. Do you really want to get back with someoene who treats you like this? this is just reality and a gift for you to see what he really is capable of. You go find someone who will look after you, not throw you aside.