Help ASAP will my ex gf give me a second chance?

[confused231607306452]

hi there all. i have read all the posts similar to my situation but in my case i want to make sure i make the right decisions. My gf broke up with me on Feb.28th/03. We were going out for 6 months and she was living with me for 4 months. I know your thinking what others say we moved in too fast. I really don't think that is the case. She told me that it was just how i treated her. I never thought about how i was treating her or how much she meant to me until it was tooo late. I never cheated on her but i took my stress home and called her down and that. I never thought about it because she seemed happy. She was scared to come to me and talk because i was being controlling. i never hit her or that but she went to her aunt were she was scared to come to me. This is all my fault. At first i was not giving her space like she asked. i was pushing her. the day she left was friday. on saturday i sent her a dozen roses to work. she thanked me for them and said that very really nice. last weekend on saturday she got me to meet her and we had fun i made out with her and she said ohhhh you smell good etc almost like she couldn't get enough. she told me that we weren;t steady yet and that there is no other guy and i believe her. she never lied to me and i know shes the one for me. i have been in 4 year relationships with a son and i know what breakups are about she is what i want and i just want to show her i'm not going to be like that again. she told me that she just needed time and i had nothing to worry about. sunday i called 2 times. monday was our 6 month mark. i sent her a card in the email and she came back saying that she doesn't want to be with anyone right now and said don't even ask because there is no other guy. when she tells me that she wants to be alone i know she means it. she only went out 2 times the first she left early and called me to see what i was doing. second she got me to meet her. I know she luves me more than anything in this world and is just hurt by how i treated her. i asked her 2-3 days after she left (when i wasn't giving her space) i said i hurt you really bad didn't i she said yes. i said do you think you could forgive me and she said yes. I then said could you ever see yourself moving back in she said yes. The problem is her aunt and that are totally against me. she told me she would go against them if she had to. I got to explain my self to her sister (who thinks her aunt and that shouldn't say anything) and she told her you and i are going to have to have a talk (in a reall good way) but after that card she told me that she didn't think she could be tied down right now but assured me there was no one else and don't ask. I know theres no one and she has no intention right now. She has my hotmail password and checks to see whos on my messanger all the time. I never changed it on her because i thought it would make her think i moved on which she thinks i want to do (thats go out with others) i was told by a few people to back off till sat. On tuesday night around 10:30 p.m. i went to bed so i wouldn't be tempted to email her back. she was off yesterday and i knew i wouldn't hear from her because she lives at her aunts. she got to work today and were i always email or call she was expecting something to be there when she checked her mail. Well as hard as it was i didn't email her. i came home from work and there was an email saying. hey what the helll is going on you never called or emailed me its like you don't want to be friends or bother with me anymore and said what did i ever do to you? i had to write back it was killing me so i said this. i said hi babe. i just got home from work and i was busy. You know i luv you more than anything and want to be with you. i said i hope we can see each other soon and that i hope she doesn't give up on us. i then said i was just giving you the space that you wanted me to give you and i said i thought if you wanted to talk to me you would of emailed or called me. she asked why i never messaged back on tuesday night when i went to bed and she asked were i went that night because i set my status to out. i told her that i went to bed early and i went to the hockey game. i haven't messaged her since and she keeps checking to see what my status is i think signs in and out because there not allowed on messanger at work. What do i do? I luv this girl with all my heart i screwed up and i made sure she knows that i didn't mean it and that i wouldn't do it again. she knows how much i luv her and i want to be with her. she told me this saturday. Don't buy me everything and don't let me have you whipped i can't have a guy whipped or i will break up with him. What do i do i really want to be with this girl for the rest of my life. she is only 19 i'm 23 she has been with others before and lived with guys but i was the best relationship she was ever in. i know she is the one for me and i just need some good advice because i don't want to mess up anymore than i already have. Will she call me when shes ready to be with a guy? right now she lost alot of trust in me and her sister told me its going to take time to get it back i just want to make sure i make the right decesions. If she calls do i answer? if i don't will she think i'm with other women (which is what she thinks i want to do which i don't) i made her think thats what i wanted when she was with me but i didn't realize she meant this much till now. she knows my feelings and how much she means to me. she also told me on saturday she thought i was going to start stocking her and that i was scaring her. so now i backed off and she freaked out thinking i didn't want to be friends or bother with her. she keeps asking me what i'm doing so she must be thinking of me. Do you think she will give me a second chance? Please i need some help if she calls and wants me to go with her do i just go? Help ASAP thanks

confuzed23

[SwingFox]

Hi confused23,

 

First of all, welcome to eNotalone.com and thank you for coming to us with your questions. I hope that my reply helps you a little.

 

My suggestion is that you guys start to sit down again. Take her out for dinner and then start to talk to her. Tell her how you feel and that you feel like trying again. Tell her that you would really like to try to work things out again. Ask her how she feels and what she thinks. This will give you some idea of where she stands.

 

It would be a good idea to find out first, what you need and expect out of a relationship with her. It looks like that you are a little confused over that. As soon as you found that out, I would make your move. If she agrees to trying again or if she sounds interested, don't forget to ask HER what SHE needs in a relationship and what she expects. See if that matches with your ideas and talk about it.

 

I wish you good luck

 

~ SwingFox ~

[confused231607306452]

Hi there. Do i back off now or do i try to get her back even though she told me she didn't want to be tied down and wanted to be alone not with anyone right now. she said that on monday. she keeps emailing when shes at work saying u there what you doing. So she is obviously thinking about me. she freaked when i stopped emailing or calling. she though i didn't want to be friends or have anything to do with her so i told her i wanted to be with her and that i luved her and i hoped that i could see her soon. i also said i hope you don't give up on us and that i was just busy and gave her the space she wanted. did i do the right thing there???i haven't emailed or called i was going to on saturday (tomorrow) is that a good idea?? I would say she will call me tonight maybe thinking i might be out and doesn't want me with anyone. I know she luvs me more than anything in this world and she told me she did and always will a few days ago. she told several others the same. I think she wants to be with me just needs to earn the trust back that i lost. the only thing is her aunt and family are against me do you think that will stop her from coming back? she went against them before when she moved in with me so do you think she would again? well i'm just wondering if i should be emailing or calling or should i only do it every couple days? I'm just scared i might lose her to someone else if she starts losing the feelings she has for me. I know that she is the one i know what i want from her its just how to get her back without losing her so that i can prove it to her that it will be differenet and for the best.

[SwingFox]

Confused,

 

My advice is to sit down with her and ask her what she wants. If you feel you should stick around and you can do that without feeling hurt and the risk of being 'rejected' in the end anyways, you could always keep talking to her and/or e-mailing her.

 

Keep this in mind: The only obligation YOU have in life is the obligation for YOU to be happy. If YOU are not happy, YOU cannot make someone else happy. In other words, if you feel too hurt and/or insecure to proceed and stick around her, you might be better off to let her go.

 

I wish you good luck

 

~ SwingFox ~

[BigMistake1607306452]

Man I feel you so much. I did the same exact thing to her. I told her how others seemed interesting to me when I love her so much. She's been hurt real bad and can't trust me anymore because I didn't tell her how much I appreciated her. And now that I tell her, she tells me you are too late but at the same time doesn't know if she will never want to be with me again. I am in the same boat as you man as far as trying to figure out if she can ever give me a second chance. Good luck to both of us on getting a second chance. Please remember if you do get this second chance you don't take her for granted even the slightest and let her ALWAYS know how much you love her and what she means to you. In the end, it will work out for the best. That's the hope that keeps me going.