advice?

[omgheat]

ill make this short and sweet...met a girl 3 years ago while i was with my ex-. never thought id see her again, now 3 years later shes in my life again, but shes my co-worker. we both admitted we like each other, but since that has happened nothing has progressed because im doing the smart thing and not messing up our jobs for either one of us. this girl is the most amazing girl i've ever met, we've hung out multiple times outside of work. we have so much in common. there is so much i want to tell her, but i dont because i dont want things to get messed up at work. every time i see her though, i keep falling harder and harder. what do i do? my friends for the most part say that i can't because we work together. the only person that has told me to be upfront and tell her what i need to say is my sister. help!!

[Simply Brett]

I can tell you from personal experience, I have dated co-workers several times.

 

The first thing you ought to note, is that I am currently single.

The second thing you will want to note, is that I am also currently jobless.

 

With that being said, All those jobs and ex's I thought were going to work out did.. but only for a little while.

 

Sometimes opportunity comes knocking when you least expect it, or are least likely to be able to accept it. When you work with your crush that is one of those times when your first instinct is your best instinct. Most people tend to ignore that feeling you have that it may potentially be detrimental to the relationship or your career perhaps to begin this relationship.

 

One one hand you don't want to let this person slip away from you, but on the other hand you need your dignity, your job, and you must always do what is best for yourself in the long run. It's now a pretty serious moral decision to make.

 

Ask yourself some questions..

 

Is this job temporary, or do you plan to try and keep this indefinitely?

If things go wrong between the two of you, do you think you can handle being mature at work and keeping emotion out of your job.

Do you know her well enough to know how she will handle herself if things ever go sour?

 

(You may think you can conduct yourself in a professional mannor, only to find out that you come outside of work one day after a break up and find all your windows are smashed and the words "it's tiny" written on your car with bright orange spray paint.

 

I tell you this to be comical, but honestly this sort of this is not uncommon or unheard of. Issues with jealousy may begin to arise also. You may find that right now she is the sunlight in your morning sky, but what if you see a co-worker flirting with her. This may be harmless to her, but to you it may be taken as disrespect and now cause a conflict between 3 people.. you, her, and the other co-worker.

 

See where I'm going with this? There are too many variables to give you a percentage of success or failure rate for your prospective relationship. This is why most people will tell you not to fraternize with a co-worker as well as it being against most company policy. You could be dismissed from your job if they find out you are dating someone in the company in some instances, be sure to ask about such policy before you engage in any sort of new relationships as well.

 

If I were you, I would tell the women outside of work that you feel a strong connection between the two of you. Tell her that you would like to be closer to one another if it weren't for the fact that you work together. See what her response is, and make the best possible decision based on what she says.

 

She might say she feels the same, and she agrees it's not a good idea to work with a co-worker. This is why I asked you earlier if you can replace this job.. sometimes that's an option. If you can find another job or don't intend to be there long anyway the risk may be worth it.

 

Maybe you two make the best of friends, or maybe you two will make great lovers. Definitely ask her position on all these matters and get her opinion on you etc before you dive head-first into a shallow pool of chance.

 

Well calculated moves and decisions may land you the lady you want with or with out being her co-worker. Just try not to set yourself up for disappointment if she thinks it would be best to remain friends to keep her job intact.

 

Respect that, and enjoy a lasting friendship.

[alvin]

Does your workplace have a policy on office romance?

 

Personally, I'm the sort to go for it. You only live once, and not long enough to accept regrets...

[omgheat]

thanks for all the great input, i read the company policy book and it did not say anything about fraternizing. i look at the job as i'm in for the long haul with many chances of promotion in the future. however she plans to be at the job for less than a year.

 

we connect at every level, we both have the same sense of humor. shes smart, shes funny, shes beautiful, shes kind and caring. she can talk to anyone no matter who they are.

 

this is definitely a girl that i want to get close to. however i dont know if i can put my morals to the side.