a definition of virginity? am I a hypocrite!?

[sprkal]

What is your definition of virginity? I dont mean is it when the hymen is broken or not (because that often has nothing to do with sex)... but is a person who engages in sexual activity, but not penetrative sex, actually still a virgin?

 

Is it right for me to call myself a virgin, just because I have not had penetrative sex? Also, what IS sex really? I mean, there is oral sex, mutual masturbation, 'dry' sex and all that sort of thing...which I have done. Lately I've been feeling a bit hypocritical when I think about it in that context.

 

Let me know what you think.

cheers,

Sprkal

[Belinda]

Personally, I consider intercourse - sex, in that way.

So you are a virgin, have you not had sexual intercourse.

[pip]

There is no definition of virginity. It means different things to different people. However, I suppose our society tends to think of a virgin as someone who has not had penetrative sex.

 

It's not important what virginity means, anyway. As long as you feel right about whatever you're doing, then that's okay. The word 'virginity' has no use anymore. It's an outdated idea from times when a woman's "purity" was seen as really important.

 

I know that teenagers seem to be really concerned with the whole 'virginity' idea, but with age you tend to not even care about it

[SS_3Trunks]

I think it depends on the person, me personally is the actual thing + breaking of hymen.

[maasikus]

Ya, Its different for different people....To me,when a partner is involved, I wud say thats sex, be it oral or dry or whatever But I aint sayin I m right...

 

Hey, what about homosexuals then(i m narrowin it down to those who ve never EVER had an hetrosexual relationship?) R they virgins??? what do u guys think???

[GimmeASpork]

I guess it all depends on how you define it. There was a similar post some weeks ago, check it out

 

link removed

 

it was an intersting discussion on the whole thing.

 

I personally think that if a girl or guy gets sexual with someone else then they're no longer virgins. It's all about owning up to what one's doing. If you get sexual, then you're not a virgin in my opinion, no big deal. I mean all this talk about penetration or not, it's just a technicality. cause if you define loss of viginity as only penetration by a penis, then you could basically do EVERY thing else sex related and still consider yourself a virgin? I think that would be pushing it, I don't know. I think when people do sexual things that they're not ready for and they're not comfortable then they go back and want to find loopholes to try to turn back time per se. You know, wanting to consider themselves virgins again. But what is the big deal? If you were sexual with someone, then you're not a virgin, but you're still the same person you were before. I realize this is a very sensitive subject, so I'm sorry if I sound little too radical.

[sprkal]

hmm

 

thanks GimmieASpork, your perspective mirrors mine (as it is evolving). That thread was also quite interesting... I must have missed it a few weeks ago when it was popular.

 

I think the 'big deal' for some people with virginity (including myself) may be entwined with religion, and being brought up with the idea that saving sex until marriage is the ONLY thing a person can do. Not that anyone has ever said we'll 'burn in hell' if we dont, but I suppose that is whats insinuated.

 

Aside from that, another 'big deal' with virginity is maybe not feeling ready in yourself...you get alot of people on this site who are 13, 14, 15 y/olds who are worried about virginity, and I think for them its the fact that they really shouldnt be getting sexual in the first place because theyre not ready emotionally/mentally etc. thats just my humble opinion though.

 

maasikus brought up a good point about homosexual relationships - and in my opinion (thought I'm not homosexual so I dont really have any basis for an opinion) they are not virgins because they do engage in what is known as 'sex'.

 

ARRGH but then, what is the definition of sex !? there are too many blurred boundaries arent there!?

 

But anyway, I THINK i agree with maasikus and GimmieASpork, how can I call myself a virgin when really I am/have been 'sexually' active.

 

 

so yeah...

[GimmeASpork]

Hey sprkal,

 

I just want to mention also that I hope I didn't sound like I was saying that being a virgin was "no big deal". I mean, I respect those who are trying to hold themselves up to certain standards, be it for religious or other reasons. Despite my seemingly strict definition of virginity I think in my eyes it boils down to intent. If the activity engaged in was intended to be sexual in nature and the genitals are involved then it qualifies as sex. However, I would not hesitate for a moment to consider someone who has been raped a virgin, since there was no sexual intent on their part.

 

I think we could post long threads on this subject and never really come to an agreement. I guess in the end it's all very subjective, culturally and religiously influenced and ultimately a very personal matter for each person to decide on their own. Always an interesting subject to talk about.