Christmas rant

[Mustang]

So the Christmas season is here and whilst everyone else seems happy and excited, I just feel ten times worse than I normally would.

 

I am sure that I am not alone in feeling a bit down in the dumps at this time of year but I really just feel that my life is at an all-time low and I am desperate for things to improve. I just have no idea why.

 

I finished university last May and since then I have been unemployed (with the exception of a few months temping). I have more debts than I want to think about and I am now living back home with my dad in a box room. I have no friends nearby and I feel that I am being left behind and forgotten by the friends I have.

 

I have been single for over two years because I have accepted that until I am happy with myself, I won't be able to offer a girl anything. I want to be at my best. I know I can be, I just can't seem to get there.

 

I'd class myself as intelligent, hard working and ambitious. But being unemployed, with no money, no friends and no life, it's hard to remain motivated. I've recently turned 28 and I'm starting to panic about my lack of direction.

 

I have a degree and I'm extremely passionate about music and the music industry but there's no jobs in this field whatsoever. And other companies won't employ me because they see 'music' as my BA and think it means nothing.

 

Christmas time makes me reflect and I hate my life right now. Yes, I am lucky to have a roof over my head and I know that there are people in the world worse off than me. That said, I have to spend Christmas with my dad and his new girlfriend (who I can't stand) and my mum and her new 'friend'. I can't go out with anyone or do anything.

 

I feel like a child and it is driving me insane. I just want Christmas and new year over with so I can start job hunting again. I have to get out of this hole. I'm sick of being broke, single and alone.

[HeavenlyDemonic]

your definitely not alone, Mustang. I'm in a similar situation. I'm 29,still living at home,not because I don't want to move out but because I can't afford to. Needless to say, I hate it and it's a huge self esteem killer. The job market is a joke right now,so that leaves me with alot of free time when I'm not studying.

 

Christmas is tomorrow and I'm dreading it. It's like I have Charlie Brown syndrome,can't get into the holiday spirit at all. Have no money to buy presents,all my friends are out of town,and as much as I love my family part of me doesn't want to celebrate with them.My only other option is to be alone, which is depressing(and will lead me to drink).

 

I know that this is just a temporary emotional funk and that after X-mas I'll feel better, but right now it sucks. Guess we both just have to grin and bear it

[Mustang]

Best wishes to you mate. I know there's thousands like us in the world but it doesn't make things easier.

 

I just want to get the holidays out of the way so I get cracking with my life. For people who work, Christmas is a time away from work and time to spend with their loved ones. As someone who's out of work without love (parents doesn't really count), the holiday season is just frustrating.

 

Drinking is all I have which is a different story all together. I need to drink a lot to feel merry and "Christmas-sy" but then the next day, I feel both ill and embarrassed. Gah.

 

2010 will be our year.

[HeavenlyDemonic]

I agree. next year will be better

[randomgirl59]

Mustang what you said really hit home. I graduated in May with a BA in animation, but just like the music industry its not very big and you're screwed 50x more if you dont have a connection to get you in. I just started soul crushing retail work which I know I should be thankful for, yet it reinforces my belief that I'm a complete failure that wasted 4 years of my life to get a piece of paper that wont even get me a job in the field. Also having to hear about how awesome certain classmates of mine that do have jobs makes it even worse, especially knowing that some of them did not work as hard as I did during school, or were just plain jerks...

 

Oh and I'm single and live at home too

 

I keep telling myself "you will not let this ruin Christmas for you, you WILL enjoy the Christmas season and be thankful for what you have" which, aside from some really low and anger inducing points this week, is actually working. I've been feeling extremely festive for some reason. I partly think I'm using it as a way to ignore the disappointment my life has been for the past 6 months. I dont know what I'll do after Christmas is over, but for now I'm rolling with it.

 

I really dont know what I'm trying to get at, but I wanted you to know that you're most definitely not alone and I really sympathize with what you're going through. Christmas does have a tendency to make those of us who are alone or in a crappy situation feel even worse, but the best thing to do is remind yourself of the true meaning of Christmas. Even if you aren't super religious or anything, remember that its a time to be thankful and kind. Take comfort in funny Christmas specials, yearly eggnog, dorky Christmas songs etc...if you cant or dont want to, just sleep the day away lol.

 

I know this sounds really lame, but this is coming from someone who is extremely pessimistic lol, so I hope it means something at least haha.

 

I hope 2010 will be a better year for all of us. You know, new year's last year I was freaking out about not finding a job, being stuck at home for the rest of my life and every possible negative thought in the book. DO NOT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE I DID! Because I seriously think I jinxed myself since everything I was worrying about came true. 2009 was crap. This new year's eve, tell yourself you will find a job and everything will be okay. Its also the start of a new decade so hopefully our luck will change.

 

Try to have a good Christmas, you're not alone

[markie b]

hehehe yeah im at home with mummy and her fella aswell and im 30

 

i moved away when i met up with my now ex gf to be with her gave up my job and moved in a few weeks later she was telling me she needs space and time well 2 and a bit months later i broke it off with her because i dont want to wait for ever for her to make her mind up.

so im living at home its no biggie im with the one woman who will always love me my mummy i have cheap rent because i cant afford to move out down here in devon the uni pushes rental up so high.

so looking at getting a van and going surfing for a few months find some part time work around for food and fuel and maybe lucky enough to find full time work and then settle down who knows?

 

the future is just that and if you can predict it then you can make a fortune!

your living here in the now the past has gone the future is coming but until then you need to live for the now have a good christmas guys and gals