Feelings changed - is that normal!?

[exback]

10 months ago my bf of 4 years broke up with me.

Today I realized for the first time that when I think about him my feeling of being "hurt" is gone. It doesn't hurt me anymore to wake up in the morning and to think "he broke up with me". Furthermore everytime I think about him it feels like thinking about my sister/brother - no hurt feelings, no anger. I hope he is fine and I wish we would have contact so I would know that he IS FINE and doing well and maybe having a new girlfriend but since he didn't try to contact me since the break up maybe it is the best way to stay NC. I can't even imagine kissing him or having sex - it seems so weird and unrealistic ... And even so we don't have contact I am sure he will never forget me as I will never forget him and even IF he has a new girlfriend and I am having a new boyfriend one day it doesn't mean we will ever forget each other...

Still I am sad we don't have any contact but sometimes I don't even care about that...

I am so relieved right now that I don't feel pain. The lovesickness was horrible the first months.

Do you know what I mean!?

[MarkD]

I know EXACTLY what you mean. It changes almost like a light switch.

[WomanWriter]

Yeah, that's good, Exback!

 

I've felt that way on occasion, but don't be surprised if you do feel the tender feelings again sometimes. These things don't seem linear. I've woken up a couple times and thought "I'm over it," but then I would be triggered. I just wanted to let you know in case you ever do get those feelings, it's normal. But it sounds like you're in a much better place and that is a relief!

[curiocity]

Hey exback, looks like you have or about to enter the forgiveness phase, where you will forgive him and yourself for the mistakes and close that chapter as a learning lesson in life. Good for you!

[exback]

I guess I do expect it to come back but for the moment I do feel so much better and I am just relieved because having those feelings of being hurt/missing him for the rest of my life would be a horrible prospect...

[jettison]

Yeah, everyone goes through it eventually. The "magic" disappears gradually over time, and suddenly, one day, you wake up and realize that it doesn't exist at all. It's kind of a bitter-sweet feeling though. On the one hand, you can recall how could the magic once felt, on the other hand, you realize the way in which the magic tricked you and lent you so much needless grief and for so long.

[peanutbutterandjelly]

this sounds pretty relieving. thanks for posting!