Gay Partner Active Online

[rufus]

I've been in a monogamous relationship with a guy for a couple years. We're both in our mid 20s. Here are some things I've seen on the computer:

 

-- He forgets to erase the temporary files; I type in the first letter of a site, and personals URLs scroll down. Pics of penises in the area. Not mine.

 

-- In-your-face pics of his private parts in personals on the Web. And other people signing his guestbook with proposals for pic trading and sex, commentary about his penis, etc. Of course, he's got a red-hot package.

 

-- In some personals, he identifies himself as single. And in one, he and an unknown top (I'm a bottom) want guys in the area to e-mail them to have "some fun." This scares me. Did he cheat on me

 

-- On his AOL profile, he has my name as his. One time I saw an MSN instant message to him from a guy named Josh. He says "Hey, Matt." That's not him, that's me. But it's to him. Also, he gave me his cell phone as a hand-me-down when he got a new one. Before he had the number changed, I had messages from two different men in Dallas addressed to Matt. I didn't know either of them.

 

-- Now he has a Web cam. It's been a while now. I tell him I want to film us in action, but we haven't. So what's the cam for? Hmm. But some of his saved pics are of him using the cam.

 

I confronted him several times but quite a while ago; He always managed to come up with a quick, half-baked list of excuses and denials and explanations. Some of them were far-fetched. I'd have to be an idiot to believe him. Yep, I was. Is it self-esteem issues. I don't trust him. I can't trust him. Why do I bother?

 

One time I brought this to his attention, and he got mad at me for snooping and threatened to block me from using the computer. He has since separated us into two Windows user accounts, and has put a password on his account.

 

I am gullible, so I believed the things he told me. Yeah, I'm gullible. Too gullible. It sickens me. And right now, I just found out for certain without a doubt that was LYING all along. I'm sure of it now because I did some more digging. Now I feel like I'm gonna throw up.

 

I love him. I have never never cheated on him. I avoid even the opportunity to cheat on him. He is my fantasy. But what the hell am I? I can't ignore this, but I can't bring up old stuff either. Do I wait for him to screw up again before I confront him? Actually, I'm completely at a loss. I just want him to be honest. It was he who wanted a strictly monogamous relationship in the first place. Any advice?

[Michael2]

Listen man.

 

If you dont approach him, or break up this relationship you WILL regret it.

 

He is disrespecting your relationship, and more importantly you.

 

Do you not think you are better than this? Better then a back stabbing boyfriend who posts pics of his junk on the web and offers others himself.

 

I know it hurts, but you need a good kick in the butt. If you dont wake up, you will live in this nightmare for a long time.Do you guys live together?

[rufus]

Would I be justified in erasing all these pics? This way, he would approach me. I don't know how to begin breaking up with him, or even approaching him about this. Yes, we live together

[Michael2]

Do you live on a high floor. What about throwing it out the window.

 

Just kidding. You have a lot to ponder. Good luck!

[sparky3941]

Hey there,

After just having my partner do pretty much the same thing (on a smaller scale) I would recommend getting out of that relationship and ending all contact. No matter if he says that he loves and cares about you, his actions tell you the truth. It will be very hard, I know I'm still dealing with it, but get out and don't have any contact and move on. You deserve better than that. Just keep your integrity and pride. I lost quite a bit trying to hold on to my partner, but have been gaining it back since I finally ended everything with him. It'll take time to heal but you'll be a better person for it in the long run.

[ljessup101]

 

 

 

sit down with him and tell him what you thank and if he dose not like it just dump him and find another guy. that is what i would do.