Needing advice

[Dee24]

Hello,

 

My boyfriend and I met in a chat room over a year ago. Well everything has went wonderful between us In fact I have never known a more loving and caring man. We talk on the phone everyday and plan on marring. We have not met in person but are doing so in Aug. Here is my problem he has a best friend that he has known for years and this best friend is Female. See I am not jealous in that I think that they are sleeping together because I Know he loves me...I have NO doubt in that. But I am jealous of the time she gets to spend with him when I am not able to at the moment. I have not told him of my feelings on this because I dont want him thinking I am making him choose between she and I because I would never do that. But I dont know how to get past these feelings. They hang out a lot and sometime I am on the phone with him when they are hanging out and I want sooo much to be with my man like she is able too. Please someone help me know what to do and how to get over this.

[true blue]

why dont you try getting to know this women with whom he is good friends? if you know her and you get along you will no longer feel threatened by her. you will realise that her loves you and she is just a friend. he must obviously have strong feelings for you if he wants you to meet, this will mkae your relationship strong and show you that you have no reason to worry.

[vitalcoaching]

Hi Dee,

 

The risk with online romance is to go too fast. Did I understand you right? You say you still did not meet him?

 

Giving your full attention to someone you did not meet yet is simply not a good idea. I know that your emotions call for it and it is challenging to stay open but you can really ehvily get hurted whne you have too high expectations.

 

If he has a female friend, i suggest you do the same and stay open and social.

 

Again, there is some invisible need to believe that you can live out of the love for one man and that he will return this equally. That's a beautiful dream but on the long term it brings the relationship to a dead end.

 

Good luck and stay in touch

 

Francisco

 

PS: feel free to email me directly if you need extra tips on how to do that email removed

[birdie0013]

Hey girl, this is coming from a woman who totally feels where you're coming from. I met the love of my life a little over a year ago, and knew before I ever met him that I was in love and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. We had been officially dating for about 3 months when he started worrying that he would hurt me and he chose to break up with me. I couldn't live with letting him run away from the great thing that we had. So I got in my car, with only 3 suits of clothes and a couple hunderd dollars, and drove 16 hours to be with him for 1 day (he was going home the next day). It was the best day of my life. Needless to say, we are completely confident in our love now and have no worries whatsoever about meeting each other.

Now I completely get where you're coming from about the whole anxieties about meeting. I am a "healthy girl" (a size 18) and I have always been self-conscious about my weight. He, on the other hand, is tall and skinny. So he felt strange also. But we had both seen pictures of each other and I thought he was very handsome and he thought I was beautiful. But it's still not quite the same as meeting. As much as we tried to reassure the other, we were still questioning whether or not we would be physically attracted to each other. After spending the day together (and a great night) we realized that we are perfect for each other. See, the thing is, when you meet over the internet (or any other thing where you don't see the person first) you get to know (and fall in love with) the person who is inside. He was able to see me for the intelligent, funny woman that I am, and I was able to draw him out of his shyness and learn to love life. We fell in love with each other, and we fell in love with the actual person. Meeting the way we did allowed us to build a love that would last because it was based on something that doesn't fade (looks/money).

Now before you meet this guy, really decide whether you trust him or not. Really go with your gut. Because it is possible to lie about looks. Everyone says that looks don't mean anything, but they do play a small part. Basically, make sure the 100% truth is out about physical attributes. Next, make sure that you and he are both comfortable with meeting. Plus, don't get married on the day that you meet. I would personally suggest going on a vaction together for a few days to spend time alone. But first spend a day or two with him with others around to gauge how comfortable you are with him.

But enough of all this. I hope my reply helped. Good luck with everything, I hope it all works out and you spend a very happy life together.