CarnelianButterfly Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 Need some comments and suggestions... A friend asked that I illustrate his short story, the end scene of which is the lovers in a final embrace after they have both committed suicide. I've reworked the woman's neck a couple of times and have become frustrated. I don't want to do any more work on it because the integrity of the paper will start to suffer. I'm wondering if it is realistic looking as is or if I do need to change her throat (maybe some suggestions as to what its lacking). link removed Link to comment
Nimzo Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 That is really awesome I don't think it needs any changing, looks fine. They both look like men to me, but I don't know if that's what was intended But it definetly looks good! Are you planning on coloring it? I'd love to see it finished. Link to comment
TheLionKing Posted December 6, 2009 Share Posted December 6, 2009 Wow. That looks great to me, you seem to have caught the essence of the subject / moment just right. Very good. Link to comment
Tarkan Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 I love this ! Sam as the first poster: Don't change it, you have your own style and you should keep working the same way. If we all changed, all the artists would end up making the same. Good work anyway, I can feel the intensity of the moment =D> Link to comment
jc123 Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 this is very good. it reminds me of romeo and juliet. did the man kill himself the same way as the woman? Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 Well, I'm not sure how you'd change the neck if the paper's already maxed out as you say. I'd say the wound looks realistic alright, but maybe a bit like a partial decapitation is the only criticism I have of it. Do you do transfer techniques from sketches? I'd definitely do that in the future, to make sure the composition is exactly what you want to start. I think you got the emotional feeling you were after. But I would work the lower right quadrant up. I'm not sure what's going on with her shoulder on that side, and there seems to be a line running through it but I don't know what it is. Blood? And is that fainter curve a breast? It seems undefined in that area. Great seeing you again, CB. Link to comment
CarnelianButterfly Posted December 10, 2009 Author Share Posted December 10, 2009 Thank you everyone. jc123: He did kill himself, slit his throat. TOV: That quad is not finished, the line is his blood and the curve is the neckline of her clothing. I'm thinking the blood line needs some errant droplets to give it interest and soften the harsh directionality it moves the eye (yes? no? suggestions?). Her clothing is a point of debate as well, it is blank as of yet, but I feel a soft draped look in mid tones to darken the corner would give it weight to balance the opposite corner. Not too fussy, just some wrinkles to make the fabric of it apparent (yes? no? suggestions?). Link to comment
CarnelianButterfly Posted December 26, 2009 Author Share Posted December 26, 2009 Just bumping this up in hopes of getting a comment on my thoughts in the previous post. I was going to send it to my friend soon, but I'm still debating the finish. Link to comment
kalikat Posted December 31, 2009 Share Posted December 31, 2009 just a thought - leave the portrait black & white - add a teeny bit of red to the wound, or just some red droplets for blood. that might give it that edge your looking for. Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 TOV: That quad is not finished, the line is his blood and the curve is the neckline of her clothing. I'm thinking the blood line needs some errant droplets to give it interest and soften the harsh directionality it moves the eye (yes? no? suggestions?). Her clothing is a point of debate as well, it is blank as of yet, but I feel a soft draped look in mid tones to darken the corner would give it weight to balance the opposite corner. Not too fussy, just some wrinkles to make the fabric of it apparent (yes? no? suggestions?). I don't know if this is timely enough a reply that you haven't already finished the piece and given it to your friend (sorry, I was absent here), but in case you're still working on it, I think both your ideas for improving it are good. I think if you defined her collarbone a bit more, and gave the blood a look of conforming to the contours of her body, it would also ease the harsh directionality. The most important thing is this, that it appears to follow her own form, and for her form to be clear, with or without errant drops (which I would not overdo). I agree on the fabric -- that it would be good to have a mid-tone shade to balance the opposite corner, but again, go easy. I wouldn't try to match the values to the opposite corner (the negative space) because then it would compete too much. I'd define the folds of the drapery to bring them a 3-D look, but not make them too dark. Keep them lighter than the upper left quad, except for a bit more shading in the deeper folded areas at the lower right quad, nearer to the corner of the piece. And yes, not too fussy. Simplify the forms. You should post the final product here once done! That'd be cool. Link to comment
CarnelianButterfly Posted January 15, 2010 Author Share Posted January 15, 2010 TOV, as always I bow to your wisdom. Thank you so much for your input. Link to comment
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