Closure Letter: Please help not send this.

[DenverBachelor]

Thanks dumped and complxdame

 

I agree I think the letter is terrible. My mind spins with so many thoughts. So many different ways of approaching this. A few weeks ago, I sent her a CD. I doubt she listened to it.

 

In the end, we watch all our aspirations, dreams, ideals and memories sink into the depths of time -- but they don't necessarily drown. You carry the weight of the relationship in your memories. She asked to leave you so you must bare the entire weight of all that was within your memories, your soul and your very core.

 

You need to release, let go and move forward by yourself. I know it hurts -- trust me. It * * * * ing sucks. But you're a man and you'll get through this. You need to walk the walk as well as talk the talk. You can do this. You and you alone carry the burden, the memories, the happiness, the love -- you alone carry the possibilities that once were, the aspirations that once seemed so alive. You have the hardest role in the end. But you are a man -- and now is your time to shine. So walk forward, proud and happy, that you shared the memories, the moments and the experiences ....You now bare the love of two and it is in your hands to treasure, bury respectfully and march forward like a true man.

 

In the end, you'll learn more than anyone and you'll put all those memories, emotions and experiences in a side pocket of your heart and carry forward. You are a relentless and tireless soldier. You are a true hero. You are the man. So suck it up, reflect and march forward in the game of life. What we leave behind isn't really left, but always a part of what we are and where we go. So don't lose sight of the big picture. Don't let go of the memories. Just be a man and own up to the pain and grief -- for you carry the heaviest burden and you alone carry the greatest light.

[DenverBachelor]

Ps: Congratulations. You won. You loved her more than any man will. We can not blame her for not understanding -- but only pity her for not being able to see.

[RougeKali823]

If she really listens to her roommate regarding your relationship as much as you say she does then she may just not be the one for you. I know in my relationships as much as I might listen to the opinions of others I will always follow my heart. I think the fact that she has not contacted you is more a decision she has made then one that was inspired by her roommate. I mean, even if her roommate did persuade her to ignore you then would you really want a woman who valued the opinion of someone else more than yours, as her man? It has been my experience that women who so willingly follow the directions of others in their personal relationships are not mature enough to be in long term relationships. Some things should be kept between couples and every form of communication is not to be skimmed by outsiders. If she is permitting that then she has a lot of growing up to do, is pondering reconciliation, or just entertaining. I would suggest that you just leave things be, find a hobby, set at least one major and minor goal to accomplish financially, academically, spiritually, professionally or etc. and work toward them.

[Nappyloxs]

She never followed my advice. I never thought much of it during the relationship. Sometime I would tell her something, she wouldn't listen. Talk to someone else, and they would say the same thing, but she would listen to them!!! I use to want to say I told you so or something along those lines but I never did.

 

Well, yesterday she made clear, no reconciliation. I think she just entertaining. We were stuck in a rut. We were like an old married couple and did not do much except watch tv/movies, go shopping, etc... Nothing young couples should be doing. Part of it was financial, part of it was me being lazy.

 

The girl I love is gone. I really think now she has become slight like her roommate (happened before). I once told her before I don't want to date roommate, I want to date her. I know she listens to others and its bad for the relationship, but I just figured that was who she was, so I accepted it.

 

Now, the girl I love is just a memory. She doesn't exist anymore.

 

I am starting to do new things. Today was the first productive day of work in a long time. Just bought a gym membership. Going to see a quit smoking person sometime this week or next week. Just deciding on which one I want to see.

 

Thanks

[RougeKali823]

This is great news and I can tell you from experience that I listened to everyone but my boyfriend for a whole year into our relationship. It took him commenting on it a million times for me to really stop and respect what he had to say. It seems like your ex was not at the level to respect the things you had to say. I know me valuing the opinions of others over what my bf's was a sign of both a lack of respect and my inability to properly communicate. After I realized it I was able to correct it and he said that he'd never had a woman do that when he suggested it. So, maybe your next gf will be the one to more properly communicate with you. Also, congrats on taking steps to quit smoking and for working on your health.

[jimmajam]

I can't stand when people do that man! My ex is very intelligent and is kind of a know it all. Crazily, I love that about her, but it can get frustrating. Sometimes I would tell her something, then she'd come back a couple days later telling me about it like she was an expert. I'd always remind her that I told her in the first place.

 

She would also try and tell me about business because she did an internship or talked to someone else when I was a fricken business admin major. I usually let her and whoever else does this with me talk. I don't know why people act that way.

 

Just wanted to vent with you haha. Anyways, good luck moving on. At least she made it clear whether she is certain or not. At this point you can assume she'll never be back and focus on yourself.