Women Making the Initial Moves

[absinthe]

I think it's really interesting that you brought up the idea of personality types absinthe. I happened to speak to my roommate and her boyfriend (who is always over here, lol) about how he wasn't put off at all by her initiation. He responded by saying that it is alright if the guy has a B personality. That it just makes sense. And it was true because my roommate is completely type A. At the same time though, I don't find her boyfriend to be that shy, maybe laid back, but not effeminate at all. Their relationship is definitely the long term type, and they put equal effort into it.

Yup, it works for them due to their personality types, where she's the more aggressive/proactive of the two, at least initially. It won't work for everyone, since different combinations of individuals, create different dynamics. Also, if a woman is raised with the traditional belief that the man should always pursue and she agrees with this, you're not going to find her pursuing men.

 

You're missing my point. Finding a bird itself is a challenge. If you shoot once, or twice and it flies away, it isn't worth pursuing, because (as I have stated) other birds will come that you may have a closer shot at. My point being, there are alot of birds out there. Why bother going after one you've shot at and missed, when there are always other that you can shoot easier?

 

Does it make sense NOW?

I got your point initially and don't disagree, to a degree. I don't believe in hard to get games, if it's not your personality type. It also depends on what you mean by "shot at and missed". Say you ask her out and she's busy the night you asked. If she then gives you an alternate date, do you still walk away, assuming that she's playing games? Or say the two of you go out and you make a move to get physical on the first date. If she pushes you away, do you consider this a missed shot and walk?

 

Also, did you get the point of my bird analogy or do I need to expand on it?

[grymoire]

say the two of you go out and you make a move to get physical on the first date. If she pushes you away, do you consider this a missed shot and walk?

 

I know this question was not directed at me but just wanted to tell what I would do. If I ask out and take a girl out on a date and by the end of it I lean in to kiss her and if she pushes me away I will walk out. I will take that as she is not interested.

[p3rson]

I am a female. In my experience, every single time I have made the first move, the guy went along with it for the sex and then got the hell out of there.

 

I am not typically a lover of tradition, but men and women are very different -- and there is a reason why men traditionally make the moves.

 

(However, don't go as far as to "play hard to get." Make him feel like him advances are welcome, and that you like him. Be sweet )

[Metallica Lightning]

(However, don't go as far as to "play hard to get." Make him feel like him advances are welcome, and that you like him. Be sweet )

 

This I have no issue with. I certainly don't mind being the initiator sometimes, it's only fair, but if a woman wants me to "chase" her then she should just pop in a romance movie and continue to live vicariously.

[Jpo]

I like it when I am attracted to the girl, and I get really annoyed when I'm not. (I assume this is the same with women.)

 

This worst thing about girls though is, when they approach you and you turn them down, they don't just leave you alone or keep trying like nothing happened -- they get really upset in front of you and start asking why you wont go out with them: "Am I not pretty enough?" "What don't you like about me?" "Do you think I am fat?" Etc...

 

It makes it SO awkward and I constantly just tell women "maybe" so that they leave me alone.

 

I guess to answer the question: if you are going to have tons of emotions behind it and get upset if it goes bad, please don't do it. From my experience, it seems like the women who ask me out are really vulnerable and putting themselves out there big time (worse than for guys because it isn't status quo) and unlike guys, for the most part they wear their emotions on their sleeves and cannot let it go. If that is you, then don't ask the guy out.

[absinthe]

Amen! My brother, a little cat and mouse games is good but when it gets to be overboard, IE you buy the girl a drink you chat with her then out of the blue she gets up to talk to some guy, then leaves you there to watch her drink, then decides after she has had a long meaningful conversation with the guy to come back to see if her drink is still there. I say negatory!

 

I think both sexes should initiate the conversation. Bottom line there is no way I am going to chase after a chicka if she doesn’t reciprocate the attention.

Any girl who leaves her drink unattended with a strange man, is some dumb bunny and not worth the pursuit...

[ycmanvs]

If a woman makes the first move and the guy likes her, he will not care that she made the first move. If the two people are compatible, get alone and communicate well with each other, it really does not matter who makes the first move. There is NO NEED for games.