He says I make him feel defensive,weird & guilty for not

[russia]

you can't expect a needy person like him to abandon his pals for you when you are only there for him on the weekends. of course, he's got problems, but he's gotta realise it himself. no use telling him cos he'd just get mad with you. then again, most guys are sedentary. we get into ruts and we like it. that's why we do routines. they are safe and regular. monday night football, friday night pubbing. girlfriend on the weekends, stuff like that. women, on the other hand, just come from a totally different planet. they want to talk, and do stuff. and we are just trying to catch up most times.

 

so the trick is to leave him be on the weekdays cos you can't change that and you shouldn't. if you have to say sorry to him, do it. cos nobody should change anybody. if you don't like what you took in, you can always take it right out again. of course, if you are thinking long term, you may want to seriously consider the relationship again. of course, in a permanent situation, some things will change, and he might even do it on his own.

 

weekends, you have a right to how the time is spent. and so does he. so negotiate - what's important, necessary, urgent, etc. and look for common interests so he's not forced and you're not bored.

 

hope he cools down and takes you back. or you might have 2nd thoughts and take off!

[kahlua07]

you're right I shouldn't make him feel weird for having a routine and just let him do his thing, guys definitely are different creatures he hasn't broken up with me and we're very serious about a future together which is why this is so important. He's just upset right now and i know him well enough to know he will get over it... it just takes some time. I just really want things to improve and think that even though I can give him an unecessary hard time, which I am aware of and am going to try hard to work on, he also needs to learn how to handle things better. so i hope he apologizes for that part, i certainly have said sorry for the way i've made him feel, and we both want to be with each other but if we keep hurting each other too much it might just make us resent each other and make the relationship go sour.... i think it will be fine, it helps hearing different perspectives though and definitely a guy's perspective, so thanks!