HELP! Broke the No Contact Rule....Will it matter?

[feeling_blue]

Hi, I'd appreciate your thoughts. My boyfriend finished with me 5 weeks ago. For a bit of background, this has happened a few times in the 8 months we were together. (I know, I should be thinking enough is enough. But I can't help wanting him.) Anyway, the longest we were ever apart before was a fortnight.

So this time, it seems more serious. I can't follow the no contact rule because we work in the same building, but for the past month I've been really strong, and haven't called or texted him.

When we see each other I put on a brave face, and things are friendly. Over the past week he has initiated contact himself, found reasons to email me in work, and even offered to come round to mine to fit a new hard drive on my pc.

BUT....last night I fell off the wagon and text message him, saying that I missed him. He text back "wrong person?!" as if he thought I'd text him by mistake. I replied that I missed him, and didn't receive a reply.

Have I messed it all up? Just when things were looking promising....and what should I say to him when I next see him in work? Please help!

[GeeCee]

feeling_blue

 

I think what he did was sooooo cold. I am sorry, but I think that you have to wise up and LEAVE THIS JERK. What is going to make him act any differently if you two do get back together??

 

Sorry to be harsh, but I think that you have wasted enough time and energy on him already.

 

Good luck.

 

G xx

[lisaria]

Hey feeling_blue,

I agree with GeeCee, that was a cold thing for him to do.

I kinda sorta did the same thing only I took the chicken way out I called when I knew he wasn't home and left a msg. asking him to lunch in two days. He finally emails me the day after and he was so cold. It hurt. But things were going great for him. New promotion, big raise, new g/f. The moron. Two steps forward and one giant step back.

But anyway....you had a weak moment. It happens to all of us. I had one a few days ago and it's not the first time. I'm sure it won't be the last one either. But when you have a weak moment get up here and write it out of your system. We are all going through the same thing or we've been through it and it helps knowing that we don't have to be alone in this. Something you write may help someone else. I think that is one reason why we come back here again and again. It does help.

You haven't been begging and pleading for him to come back to you and that's very good. Be proud of that. You had a weak moment, so what. He obviously is an idiot and a rude one at that. You were being honest with him and he did that??? Tell him to get over himself. That shows you what kind of person he really is. And he doesn't sound very caring. Don't you want someone who will be better than that? You deserve someone better than that. You are stronger than you think and you will hold your head up high when you go into work on Monday and if you happen to see him, just smile and act like you're the happiest person on this planet. If afterwards you have to go into the bathroom and cry, then do it. As long as you never let him see you feeling down and weak again. Even if it's all show, he won't know that and maybe he'll wonder what it's about.

This is a hard time for all of us but we are making it through one day at a time. We are all better people for this. Seems hard to believe right now, but we are. Hang in there.

Lisa

[feeling_blue]

Thanks guys. I do know deep down that I deserve better; when I didn't get a reply from him yesterday I wanted to send another text telling him where to go, but decided not to give him the satisfaction of knowing I was upset.

Things are getting easier each day....I just wish I could forget about him, but he seems to dominate my every waking thought. I had a couple of long term, live-in relationships before him but I've never felt this way about anybody before.

I think if he does bring it up, I'll tell him that I'm not used to being single and miss being with somebody......hopefully that way it will make him feel it's less about him. Because he is quite an arrogant person and I know he'll be loving the idea I miss him.