dumped by the same guy twice, but this time my fault

[Pharm11]

I need some help please. I cant bear another hear break from the same guy. He is wonderful. I tried to make him something he is not, we fought too much. All in all it was my fault, and I am willing to change. He left me, but we tlked and after my long apology and explaination he just said we are not a couple but we may have hope. But I dont know when? It will be the fourth day today. I have not contacted him. I am holding back, but it is so hard.

 

What should I do, if I am the one who is wanting to prove to him that I can change, shouldnt I call him. My mind is made up I really want to call him tonight. Just be casual...

 

I know he needs space, but he said he still loves me, so shouldnt I win him back?

 

This is so hard, because I know how this is going to be if I wait for him to contact me... months and months of thoughts and memories.

 

Please HELP!!!!

[Mun]

Maybe you should do what he asked and give him space. That would let him know you respect his request--and respect him in the process. Let him contact you next and at that point you should keep it relaxed and be a bit casual.

 

I don't know all the details, I have not read any of your other posts so I hope this helps some.

[lunatic]

Maybe you should do what he asked and give him space. That would let him know you respect his request--and respect him in the process. Let him contact you next and at that point you should keep it relaxed and be a bit casual.

 

I don't know all the details, I have not read any of your other posts so I hope this helps some.

 

I agree with Mun! Totally!!!

[Pharm11]

I know wat u mean, but here is the thing, he didnt ask for space. But he is obviously showing that by not calling me i guess. He did email me, but it was about something else and not us. So is he afraid to contact me, because he realizes that he made a mistake by breaking up, but doesnt want to call?

 

He doesnt believe I can change, i want to show him that I can, how can I if i am not with him. I have done this no contact thing, it was so hard, last time he did not love me. But this time he does, can I just call him and then he may miss me again??

[Pharm11]

I know that everyone will say no contact, but this is happening to me again guys. It hurts so bad thinking, that it will b like last time.

 

I just want him back so badly. Today will be the fourth day. I have resisted, cried, prayed, over and over again. Do i deserve this again. I love him and it was my bad this time Y cant i just call and prove it...

[lunatic]

By calling him you may actually push him away more then let him come to you. The risk involved is he may not come back but, atleast then you know it was never meant to be.

 

When your heart is broken I can't think of a worse pain. No matter how old you are or how many times your heart was broken it always feels like it is consuming you from the inside.

 

Hang in there and try to look at it this way... You messed up! You realize that you made a mistake. The really hard part is learning from that mistake.

 

P.S. You CANNOT change someone unless they want to change. Be yourself always and accept people for whom they are. If you don't like certain things about someone then you have to think if they are worth staying in the relationship with then. Thinking you can change someone is NOT the way to go when in a relationship with someone. Things to think about! sorry you are in so much pain. Think about it this way everyday it will get better little by little. Time heals all wounds!

[Pharm11]

I know I know. I know now i cant change anyone. I was not the worst person ever to him but I caused the fights.

 

But he did e mail, me even tho its not regarding us he did.

 

We are still going to a school trip together, and he said we can go together as friends. But in the same hotel room, same flight....

I really hope it will work out by then.

 

I know where you are coming from, the thing is I heard this so many times, when this happened to me before and even today. But its different this time, y cant I just tlk to him. I am not forcing him or pushing him away, i just want to be casual. I dont want him to go away from me. I love him sooo sooo much, my heart cant stop crying... He still does love me... please tell me if i am making any sense.

 

I look at my phone every day hoping he will call, but nothing.... Y cant i win him back by letting him know that i am still here

He has even said its not like I will be looking for another girl.... nd that we have more hope than ne other two people. I want to bring this hope alive.

[Mun]

When you don't contact him and use the time instead to work on yourself he will get the message that you are changing. If you call him and constantly want to talk about the relationship he won't see those changes. You get what I'm saying?

 

What you do speaks volumes more than what you say. Be smart. Take this time out to work on yourself and whatever issues you need to address. Treat yourself well so that you are not obsessing over this but instead focusing on YOU.

 

He knows where to find you, he is not out looking for another girl --he says-- so trust what you know about him to be true and relax. He will be back and if he is not then you will be in a better place to move on. But at least you won't look like some crazed obnoxious girlfriend desperate to get her man back. You don't want that.

[Pharm11]

wat if i am casual, and not bring up the relationship? please i need to tlk to him. I want him to understand that i have changed, it will take time, but i have to be with him to show him. please try to understand. i cant stop crying... i cant do this break up again.