save the arrows for now cupid

[vhere]

i like dating. i enjoy the rush i get from flirting, exploring the city, getting to know the guy, having awesome crazy conversations that just go nowhere, opening my scope of things, warmth, care, and lots of fun. i keep telling myself. i want to live for the moment. shut up self, i'm going to live for the moment. no responsibility. no pressure. and no heartbreak.

 

at first, ive thanked cupid for acupuncturing my heart with more of his mighty and lovely arrows. then the guy says a lovey dovey sincere affectionate statement, and i can only return it with a a kiss on the cheek, a hug, and a i need to go somewhere, alone. bye!

 

what a revelation: cupids arrows aren't for acupuncture, because i've been shot with confusion. once again.

 

i still have wounds that i have not tend to, and band-aids are only quick fixes. i still have arrows in my heart that i have not taken out, because. and i'm only inviting more. i need to let my heart heal or how else am how am i going to be able to love out of fullness, give it my all? when all is bleeding. if i keep fooling myself at this rate, will i need a transfusion doc?

 

what is it that i need now?

 

what does it mean to heal? what is this grief that i haven't released that's giving me this block? what haven't i yet accepted?

 

is it closure i need? will my ex give it to me? how do i give it myself?

is it enjoying the life of singlehood?

 

and if stubborn me, has not let go and cannot let go and will not let go, and is too madly in love,then why hasn't stubborn me, like really really talk it out, really really be proactive and initiate. write a game plan. you know. cut the sleeping the around, quit fooling myself and protect, respect, cherish, that love? you know.

 

-confused little girl

[lunatic]

Only time heals all wounds. So maybe dating is not helping you get over the past hurts. Maybe it is time to be single and learn to be ok with it. Also when you do stop dating and start working on yourself it could take a long time to do. You will know when your ready to put yourself out there again. It took me 18 months to get past my "issues" and now 2 years later I am married with child. I can even say I am really happy where I ended up.

 

Make time for you! Learn to be you again and find things that you like to do.

[vhere]

dating is not the problem. just want to be without a doubt, you know, be effing sure to be less confused than before.

 

i don't quite see eye to eye with time being linear anymore. it's a matter of how much your thoughts are in the present situation or objective, how much you push yourself to break certain train of thoughts that serve no benefit, from anything but the direction you want to follow. that's all.