She talks about ex.....Kinda worried ...should I be?

[bb13]

Me and my GF just recently starting officially going out (last Sun). We became best friends this year and we love each other soooo much. We had our HS Spring Break last week and we spent every day together and had so much fun. I love her and our relationship.

 

The issue is she talks about her ex's alot. She is always syaing "I hate to bring him up but....." Its always something bad so I guess thats good but I'm still kinda bothered by it. She was talking about sending him a Happy b-day letter which really worried me. Today she told me that instead of the letter she called him. She said that the phone call didnt go well but she is obviously thinking about him alot. And its not just him. She has talked about other ex's as well.

 

Should I be worried about this??? Should I talk to her about it??? How???

 

Thanks in advance for any help

[Hannibal]

Well one of the first things older people will tell you not to do in a relationship is to bring up the past. If you're with someone, thats who you're with. End of story. She shouldn't be bringing up these other guys even if its just to make you feel better. I would talk to her about it and kindly ask her to resist brining them up so much if at all, because its hurtful to you and your relationship.

 

I just lost someone to their ex and it licks the big one, so I'd try to stop this before it turns into anything big.

[bb13]

I've dropped subtle hints to that effect. Earlier today she was talking about an ex who once wouldnt get off her while drunk and she had apparently talked to recently. She now hates this person. I can tell not only by the way she speaks of him but how she looks when she sees him the hall or whatnot. Anyway I said something like: "well, let what is in the past stay in the past". Its only been a few hours but she hasnt talked about an ex since. I am not worried about her leaving me for an ex b/c i know she loves me and mostly all of her ex's arent exactly on speaking terms. I am just a little insecure i guess.

 

Thank you Hannibal.

[vitalcoaching]

True, talking about your exes when you are with someone is simply a lack of tact.

 

If you want to value someone, focus on the person you are with. She is not familiar with that skill and you took a step to "educate" her on that.

 

That's very good. Congratulations with that. This is the way to go. As you mentioned she seems to get it. If she doesn't simply repeat the message again until she gets it. No need to be tough on her. Seems like your subbtle style works well.

 

good luck and trust further your instinct with that. You are on the right track

 

vitalcoach