Why Do I Still Believe We'll End Up Together

[jaylh25]

Ok, I'm not expecting a card in the same way that I have a right to one, if you get me. But I'd be surprised if I didn't get one, more so! No I don't think it would bother me too much if I didn't get one. If she doesn't send one, it will be on purpose, not that she's forgotten or just doesn't care. I know this girl too well!! And I don't think she would be successful in getting to me. And as I said, it'd probably be better if I didn't get one, because then I wouldn't have to reply to her and re-open lines of communication for her.

 

Hey Rob (yep I couldnt keep away), feel for you mate, you know my situation and the events of the last few weeks and I still sometimes get that feeling. Its hard to shake and totally irrational given circumstances but totally natural when youve loved someone deeply and had that connection.

 

Youve said in your other posts that you hope to be friends one day with your ex.. if you really want that then one of you is going to have to reach out.. are you in a place where you could talk to her now? You know I bumped into my ex the other week when I went back, it was interesting hearing what she said about the NC.. I know ill get slated for this but if you really want this girl in your life in any shape, which i think you do, then id think about it at some point. Getting back in touch with my ex didnt set me back at all like i thought it would.. she has moved on and im doing the same but it was good to see her and talk and we'll probably stay in touch. Just dont have any regrets mate thats all im saying.

[Rob1000]

Haha! I knew you would be back. I'm delighted.

 

Thats the thing. I really dont know to what capacity I want her in my life. Initially I wanted us to be friends but then I realised I was only saying that because I was so madly in love with her. But after everything we've been through this year, seeing each other after this long would be the single most weird thing I will have ever done. I know its inevitable as we have mutual friends and we are bound to bump in to each other at some stage, but I am worried that when I do see her that all my feelings for her will come flooding back and I really dont want that. So I have been avoiding any chance encounters like the plague.

 

These inklings that I have been getting have no scenario around them. There's no love story or wild imaginative dreams that go along with these weird feelings I get. I just feel that with the love we shared, and how quickly it ended, with little to no contact since, that it somehow remains unfinished. There was no sobering up period for us. No perioid where we just drifted apart. One day we just broke up, and that was it, no long good byes or I'll miss you etc. I left the house one night in February and I havent seen her since.

 

Neither one of us can say categorically that we don't love the other anymore or vice versa, because how can you be totally honest and understanding of your own feelings for someone you havent seen or spoken to in so long!!? But as I said, I've made huge progress recently and it will only get better. I will let fate decides what happens to me.