Feeling so desperate...PLease Help

[Peach_drps]

Hello everyone, I have been reading through all of your posts. Alot of them I have to say helps me to realize that I am not the only one going through this pain. THere was one that I had read about a gut feeling this person had about a relationship and the fact that he still feels as though she will be back. I am having that same feeling. I have been trying the no contact thing, it works for only a few days and then I can't stand myself I have to call him. Last nite I called and asked how his day at work went and he hung up on me. Then I called back and all he did was tell me that I am crazy because I keep calling and wont leave him alone. I just cant help myself. He was everything to me. My best friend, my lover, my future. He also told me that he wishes he never would have met me. He told me he doesn't care about me or my kids. He just wants me to leave him alone. My youngest son adored him and likewise he had adored him also. I dont understand how he can be hateful. Is it still possible there might be a future for us? If I leave him alone like he asked me to do three weeks ago, is there still hope for us? If things were not so great when we didn't fight. I have to be honest, Im not sure if I would keep this fight up for him. Any advice and experience would be great. I do not really have any close enough friends to talk to. I appreciate everything. Thank you, all of you have a great day!!!

[Hopingpraying]

Peach,

 

You have to leave him alone. By pursuing him you are just pushing him further and further away. He is being hateful toward you because you are not showing him the respect he is asking you for. The only way for you to proceed is no-contact. Read up on it. Sure its hard, but it does work, and even if he doesn't come back it allows you to begin the long healing process.

 

It sucks sure, but when you are feeling weak and want to call him, write an email in the forum instead.. It has helped me tremedously.

[fmfisdead]

Yeah, I know exactly how this goes, Me being a guy, and when I wanted to take a break or get away from my current girlfriend, it would piss me off more then anything when she would call me and constantly check how I'm doing. I took it as though she was checking up on me and keeping tabs, overall making her out to be crazy and like a stalker almost, even though you know they arent. I once read that when men go away mad, they go into a "cave", if you go into their "cave" which is the place they go to get their mind off things and chill out, they get really angry, and you just keep pushing them farther and farther away. I think what you need to do is definitely keep up no contact with him, and when you do talk to him, say if he calls you, keep up light conversation, if he asks how your doing say good, get out there and do things. Get your mind off of this. I think you read my Earlier about getting the girl back. If you want, I know I'm younger, but I think I can relate to a lot of what your saying, and you could email me with questions and I would be happy to talk. email removed

[kuhl282000]

Hello Peaches

 

Glad you are here, it helps to just vent when you have no one to share with. I found the site by accident myself one day. We have many caring people here. So by all means please come back again and again. As far as this guy who you are having a difficult time with. My suggestion would be to read your own post again. all of the answers are in it. You were his best friend, you were his lover. You call and he hangs up, he tells you to leave him alone. It takes two people to agree and want the same goals, to have a rewarding and sucessful relationship in these times. Sounds like you are the only one trying here. But I do know people who love each other, don't hang up on each other with out a reason. It sounds to me this guy is pretty angry. What is he angry about ? You are welcome to pm me anytime. As far as what the future holds, anything is possible in the name of love. Both good and bad. But when people are hurting each other it is just plan wrong. You deserve to be treated like a lady with the respect all relationships deserve.

 

 

Good luck

 

Kuhl

8)

[tiger_lilies]

When my ex and I split, I found it very difficult to accept the reality of the situation. It sounds like from your post that you are too. You have to learn to accept that this relationship is over. I know that this is a bitter pill to swallow, but when he's telling you to leave him alone and that he wishes he never met you...well, that's your answer right there.

 

Why would you want to be with someone who is not treating you with respect? You must accept the reality.

[sebaot]

Peaches,

 

He's obviously emotionally retarded because he can't communicate clearly with you and he can't keep a friendship going even if he wanted to end the relationship. Why would you want a future with a man like that? Just ask yourself that. I know I'd rather be happy by myself than unhappy and aging with somebody like that. Anyway, there's plenty of men out there, and don't get stuck on the illusion about "the one that got away."

[Scout]

I could see where you might be willing to cut him some slack and thinking he's just angry if he said he didn't care about you. But he also said the (in my book) unforgivable: He never cared about your kids. Please remember they are your first priority, and you wouldn't want anyone in your life who is capable of saying such a rotten thing about your very own children.