You know, girls get a bad rap, but guys are confusing too!

[bakerrac]

(Please just bear with me here.)

 

Alright, so about a month ago, I met a guy. We went out on a date a week after meeting and it went really well. He then had to travel a lot for work and said he'd call me, but never did. Now, normally I'd say he's obviously NOT interested. However, the date went well, and I know he was feeling it. I figured, he's a busy guy and he'll call when he can. Anyway, I ended up calling him for some advice on places to go in Las Vegas- since he goes there a lot for work- and he had said he would be happy to tell me where to go. I had to leave him a message, but he called me back the next day and gave me tips-- just before going skydiving. So I texted him the next day because I wanted to know how his jump went. He said it went well, that he got a DVD of it, and that he'd show it to me. Then I went on my trip, and his tips paid off so I set him a text today just to say "thank you." Originally I had planned to call and say "thanks" and throw in a "Hey, let's grab a beer sometime," but decided maybe I should just let it go. I sent the "Thank you" text and literally said to myself "Ok, I'm done" and tossed my phone on my bed. I honestly did not expect to hear back from him, but when I checked my phone later (I was expecting a call from a friend), I had a missed call and a voicemail from him! His message said to give him a call back cuz he wanted to hear about my trip. So, I called him and we chatted for about 45 minutes about all sorts of things. At the end of our convo he said to give him a call this weekend if I end up going out in the city (I'm in the suburbs), which is very likely.

 

So....What does this all mean? Is he still interested? Is he just stringing me along? Is he "just not that into me?" Should I call him if I go out in the city? This guy has me very confused...I feel like God is teasing me right now: "Here, here's a guy that you'll really like and would be great for you, but I'm not gonna make it easy!" Haha.

 

(THANK YOU, if you made it all the way through that rambling. I really appreciate it!)

[Capricorn3]

You're right, he is rather confusing. I would say that you have done most of the initiating and contacting so far. Now the ball is in his court. If he's interested, he should make contact.

[8amallday]

what a confusing man! to me it sounds like he does like you. whether or not hes ready for something serious is somewhat of a mystery.

you have done a lot of the work as far as contact goes, but after you see him in the city, see how he acts.

thats my advice anyways.

[yourgravity]

Im a little skeptical because of my latest dating experience, but id have to say, that he may not be that interested anymore. How did you two meet? Did he ask u on the first date?

 

I just think youve given him ample opportunity to ask you out or set up something, and he hasnt. Save yourself the hassle, just forget about him and move on... If he wants to contact you, he knows how.

[riley123]

I don't understand what the confusion is...no guy would spend 45 min. talking to a girl that he didn't have some tiny bit of interest in.

 

Here's what I think: you had one really good date with him. That's great! But maybe he has lots of great first dates...or maybe he doesn't really know how to date.

 

How long after the date did you call him? Did you say on the message that you had fun when you went out with him or was it just about Vegas? Pehaps he

 

I know that I always appreciate hearing from the girl (through a text, phone call, e-mail) that they had a nice time and would like to do it again. It takes the guessing out of it for us guys.

 

Anyway, I think you should call him up and let him know you'll be in the city this weekend and would like to get together...there's nothing wrong that. See what he does. If he sounds excited and agrees to it then he's into you. If not, then at least you have your answer.

 

Good luck!

[bakerrac]

Thanks everyone!

 

yourgravity: We met in a bar, which sounds really trashy, but it wasn't. We met, and my girlfriends and I ended up hanging out and chatting with him and his friends the rest of the night. Then he called me to set up the date. Keyword: called. Didn't text, or facebook me, he called like a man! Haha.

 

riley: I agree! Why would he talk to me so long if he has no interest?! And he always says things that insinuate talking to or seeing each other again. I called him about 2 weeks after, and didn't have a chance to talk about much other than Vegas because he was literally being called to get into the airplane to skydive.

 

As for this weekend, I think I will give him a call. I think maybe he would have asked me out again, but he already has stuff going on and I was telling him my plans were kind of up in air. I was also thinking of mentioning going to grab dinner or a beer again sometime. I mean, maybe he's not sure if I'm interested, or maybe he's not ready for something serious? I don't need to jump into a relationship with the guy, but I just feel that there was a genuine chemistry, so I'm having a hard time believing he's just not interested. I almost want to just bluntly ask if he's interested or not. Haha. ...But I'm not sure that's a wise move...

[gsxr104]

I'm pretty sure he's interested.

[bakerrac]

(This is just an observation, I appreciate all advice). I think it's interesting that the girls who responded both basically said, move on...if he's interested, he'll call. All the guys have said he is interested.

 

So guys, how would you want a girl in my situation to proceed? My girlfriends have suggested not calling him Friday night, even if I'm out in the city because I don't want to look "too available." I'm gonna be honest, I don't like games, but I sort of see their point. However, I think it's a good opportunity to possibly reestablish.

 

Should I call him if I'm out in the city? Even if I do, we may not end up seeing each other...we could be on opposite ends or he may not be out, etc. Or maybe I should just wait, grow "a pair," and call him next week saying I had a good time when we went out a few weeks ago and wanted to see if he'd wanna do it again. ???

[Inquirer89]

I wouldn't call him when you hit town. If a guy is interested he'll make it happen. I went out on a first date with a guy a cpl weeks ago. I told him after the date when I got home that I thought he was a cool and sweet guy, I had fun and we should do it again. Letting him know I had some interest enough to want to see him again. Waited 4 days to see if he would contact me, he didn't so i called him up to say hi and what's up and hung up after about 5 minutes. I haven't heard a word from him. It screams uninterested.

 

 

I wouldn't contact him yet, let him do it. You've shown your interest..just keep your cool and let him initiate contact next, he has your number. If he's wondering why you haven't contacted him, if he's interested he'll call or text or whatever. You won't know if he is interested if you don't let him contact you.

[bakerrac]

Ugh this is such a confusing situation. If he talked to me on the phone for 5 minutes and it was awkward and he didn't say anything about plans for the weekend or calling him if I'm in the city etc, then yeah, I'd know he's not interested. But 45 minutes is a long conversation. He told me to call him, so why shouldn't I if I want to? These are the silly dating games that I hate. If he's not interested, wouldn't he stop saying things about talking to or seeing each other again? Just cut me loose!! I'm a big girl, I'll get over it.

 

I'm wondering if he's a little freaked out...? Things with him are extremely comfortable even though we barely know each other. I can't remember ever being 100% comfortable with a guy right off the bat, but I am with him. When we were on our date, at certain points, it felt like we were already in a relationship. Maybe he likes me, but that sort of freaks him out cuz he doesn't want to jump into a relationship (which is totally fine!). ??

[LKerrigan4]

I think it sounds like he is interested. Maybe he wasn't at first, probably because he was so busy. But I definitely think he is now because you have shown some interest. It sounds like you caught his attention!