My Confusion HELP please!!

[SadAndDepresse]

Hi all I am new to the forums and come here seeking some advice about my relationship problems which have made me really confused and upset as of late.

 

So I had been in a long distance relationship for the past 2 and a half years we met through a friend she lives 1000 miles away and we use to see each other as much as we could probably around once a month for a week or more.

 

Anyway that was before things went down hill the last time I saw her was about a month ago and since then I broke up with her because she was treating me horribly and barely calling me and just going out and living her own life as if she was single and gave me no time which wrecked my head and made me emotionally unstable.

 

I dealt with this for about 2 weeks before breaking up with her I called her and tried to sort it out because I wanted to make it work she means everything to me and I love her and care for her so much but I think that our relationship is a bit too one sided, anyway I called her and confronted her about how I was feeling and asked what can we do to fix it and whether she wants to fix it, she continued to say she didn't know and by this time I had got to the point where I either wanted to fix things and make them good or break up and move on so I let her know this and she still said she doesn't know.

 

So I had to do it and break up with her, just after I hangup she sends me a message saying "i love you more than anything I just don't know what i want right now i need time to clear my head so we will go on this break and when I come up in a month we will talk face to face and see where we are at". She had already had tickets booked to come up to see me in a month, and she basically made it out as if we are now on a "break" not fully broken up which wrecked my head because I was at the stage whether I need to move on and forget or work it out not wait around for her to make up her mind if she loves me she would want to make it work.

 

For the first week after the breakup I continued to act as if I was not upset or care about losing her and she kept on calling me 5 times a day and messages, i didn't ignore her but just acted mutual back not needy or anything. She was telling me things like "i haven't told my parents were broken up" and how she went out and bought me presents and when she was in pain from that time of the month she was sending me messages saying "wish you were here to make me feel better" and everything. Then after a week of this I got the feeling that she wanted to be back with me so I finally confronted her and asked her back out, she said AGAIN I don't know still I need more time. After leading me on for a week It made me a bit angry and I got angry at her about it, since then things have not been the same it has now gone back to me being needy and calling her all the time and She barely calls maybe only once a day and one message a day when it use to be way more and it just feels like it has gone back to the way it was.

 

I know I shouldn't want to get back with her but I really do want to be back with her and I have been reading things like I should ignore her and pretend that I am not needy and want her back and I try but I cannot do it so I think I have stuffed things up. And just tonight we had a big fight and I got really emotional because she was at her friends house and not talking to me and it went back to how it was before we broke up and I told her to go away and not be a part of my life because I got really angry and caught up in the moment I don't know if she'll call or if I've stuffed up too bad this time that it's unfix-able I don't know what to do.

 

Sorry this is such a long and confusing case there is so much more to it but this is a brief outline that I hope you can give some advice on my confusion cheers.

[SadAndDepresse]

any advice please??

[Singler]

break your post into paragraphs, it makes it easier to read.

[SadAndDepresse]

There done

[SadAndDepresse]

guess i am alone

[Rochelle1982]

If she wants her space honey, there is nothing you can do but give it to her. She seems uncertain in what she wants and there is no need to get caught up in complications. If it was really serious to her, where would she be? You need her, but she is backing off, don't push the issue. You are doing right by not seeming desperate, work on distancing yourself as well. Trust me, it's gonna hurt, but baby, that's life. You have to grieve to begin to heal and move on. Take things one day at a time, don't focus on her too much and get yourself together. Work on building a stable environment for you so that you don't feel like you need her emotionally. Get things together so that you and your soulmate will be stable. She has to come back on her own but don't dwell on it in case she moves on. Try seeing other people casually but when you are ready to ease the pain.

 

As time passes, you will begin to see things in a whole new light and realize what is healthy and what is toxic. When you collect your thoughts, you will begin to set goals for yourself and know what you want and don't want in a relationship. If she is not willing to come to a mutual understanding on your relationship, find someone who does. Distraction is the key... get moving now, don't drown yourself in self pity, it will only exacerbate things...