Dildo inquiry

[SerenityIsDeath]

I'm kind of afraid about my girlfriend using a dildo. We have not had sex yet but I'm worried that her using a dildo will somehow make sex less enjoyable. I guess it wouldn't be so bad if they dildo she was using wasn't so large. I'm by know means that big. We are both virgins so I want our first time to be special, but I'm worried that her using a dildo all the time might make her more loose and find me less "pleasurable". Should I be worried?

[Rage]

Mate, it is probably to your advantage that she is using a dildo as i think many girls find their first time painfull. (although i can't personally vouch for this )

 

Maybe this will loosen her up a bit and make the first experience a bit more pleasurable/Special

 

Just a thought....

[SerenityIsDeath]

I guess I'm more worried about being compared to the dildo. I'm certainly not as big, and I don't want her to find me less pleasurable than the dildo. If that makes sense

[Rage]

IMO the two are uncomparable! Sorry i can't help you further with your problem as i have no experience of the two

 

Think it is best to wait for some friendly femal advice

[Meow18]

there's no need to compare yourself to anything. it seriously isn't about the size. if you can pleasure her, then who cares how big you are? i don't think you have to worry about your girlfriend using a dildo. i doubt that it will make you less pleasureable to her just because you are smaller, just as long as you know how to work it.. a lot of girls use dildos anyways, so its nothing to be worried about.

[Sebulous]

would you prefer to have sex with someone you love or to masterbate?

 

ok, I think that takes care of that =P

[SerenityIsDeath]

But will her using it effect how she feels? Like I'm guessing she'll be looser. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

[AnotherChick]

I'm sorry. I read through all of that and just chuckled at each each entry. The advice you've received so far is really good. What you may not understand about a healthy sex life (yet...maybe?) is that each person needs to know what works AND does not work for them. If your girlfriend is exploring, then LUCKY YOU! Hopefully you've explored what works for you and what you can do for her besides just intercourse. I've had boyfriends actually wonder if I had toys and if they could "play along". Why? Well, because they want to know what works for me and that's the best way to do so.

 

Talk with her about it. Except avoid the "loose" reference. You'll either get slapped or dumped. On that topic, girls don't exactly work that way. It's not like she's having a baby or something. That statement gets way too much airplay.

 

Anyhow, Relax. Sounds like your girl is really learning so she can pleasure you better.

[Pelican]

She's right. Be glad your girl is comfortable enough to experiment with herself. I believe its healthier. And she'll know more of what she likes. And a dildo and a live person aren't comparable. Two completely different things

[Hopingpraying]

Serenity,

 

I don't think anyone has addressed your loose question, and I Would like to say that while the Dildo probably has made it so she is not a virgin anymore, which in my opinion, is a good thing. Having sex with a virgin has not been a good thing in my experience.

 

As for her becoming loose and less pleasureable to you I would just like to point out that the vagina is made to stretch. A babies head comes out of there so I don't think you need to worry about the dildo. Vagina's stretch and then come back into place just like a rubber band. You have nothing to worry about.

[pip]

I think it's really good she's using a dildo. It'll encourage her to get used to being penetrated, and will indeed stop her fom having a very painful first time with you.

 

Imagine if she said, 'I'm uncomfortable with my boyfriend masturbating before we've had sex'. Double standard?

[SerenityIsDeath]

Why should I be glad she's going something like this? I just don't understand. It kind of freaks me out to be perfectly honest. And I also don't understand why she keeps going back to the dildo and not me. Could I be doing something wrong?

[Meow18]

do you masterbate? many people masterbate even though they have a boyfriend or girlfriend or husband or wife. its completely normal for some people. you shouldn't feel like you are doing something wrong. if it bothers you so much that she does it, why not ask her why she does it? you should be open with her & honest. maybe you are doing something wrong, maybe you aren't.. we can't answer that one for you, the only person who knows is her, so just ask!

[SerenityIsDeath]

I don't mind that she masturbates. But the problem is she'll do it instead of being with me. If we had a good sex life and she also masturbated I wouldn't care, but we don't have a sex life at all.

[Meow18]

well if she's doing that instead of being with you, maybe something isn't right. maybe you aren't pleasuring her enough. the only thing you can do is ask her what is up. stop assuming that you are doing something wrong & just ask her! maybe she just fears actually having sex with an actual person. maybe she's worried about pregnancy, or maybe she's unconfident about it, or maybe she just doesn't feel right about it sometimes. i can tell you all sorts of possiblities, but none of them anyone can be 100% sure about. you will get the most honest answer from her, so just ask. if you have problems in your relationship, its only heathly & completely normal to talk to your partner about it!

[JonnyG]

Don't worry about comparing yourself to it. Dildos always have a habit of being larger than life. My younger bro said his ex gf had a big dildo, making him feel very "small", but she preferred him over it, like most girls do.