I am in love with my married uncle

[headupdef]

First just to clarify he is NOT blood related. I am 22 years of age and in love with a family member. Here is my story, jumbled but here goes..

 

How it all began was an innocent conversation one christmas about sex..then he pursued me a bit talking further about it. He is an attractive guy, good looking in his early 40's, we have had sex on occasion and I guess you can say somewhat comitted to a sexual relationship since both of our current ones "lack" so we would sneak around ormeet up when no one else was home and "play"

 

This was fine up until recently when I was told by him that he wanted to be with me but had made a promise to himself to stay with his wife for the children, one is 14 and other is 8. It just is even worse because out of my entire family, these people are whom I am closest to and talk to and see on a regular basis. Because he said this, I have begun to develop feelings for him as well, and well, here I am. Feeling for a man whom I have absolutely no future with, and even if by slim chance, not for a long long time.

 

You'd think this would be motivation enough to say goodbye to it all, but no..my stubborn heart will not let me. It hurts so much to be around him and not be able to show my true feelings but also hurts to stop seeing him and to be around him also not being able to show my feelings, and not having ANY opportunity to be with him. I will always see him because it's family.

 

I dont know what to do, part of me wants to be his SO bad..the other knows there is no chance.

[flyer_87]

That seems pretty selfish on both parts, you and him. You KNOW he has a wife, and has children. and he KNOWS you have a boyfriend (or husband), so why would you both put yourselves at risk for ruining each others lives? Stop right away, there's nothing else to it...

[vfunkera]

Headupdef, This has got to STOP NOW.

 

guess you can say somewhat comitted to a sexual relationship since both of our current ones "lack" so we would sneak around ormeet up when no one else was home and "play

 

You call that love?

 

Your actions are consequently destroying him and his family- and not just any family, its YOUR FAMILY. It should never have gotten this far in the first place, and unfulfilling relationships/sex is no excuse to fulfill it with someone else, let alone your UNCLE. You have cheated on your own family, your boyfriend and yourself, because this was never ever going anywhere in the first place yet you two still persude the course.

 

but no..my stubborn heart will not let me. It hurts so much to be around him and not be able to show my true feelings but also hurts to stop seeing him and to be around him also not being able to show my feelings, and not having ANY opportunity to be with him. I will always see him because it's family.

 

I dont know what to do, part of me wants to be his SO bad..the other knows there is no chance.

 

I have not found any qualified excuse for you not to have stopped this disaster. Having a stubborn heart, or a part of you that wants him and his acknowledgement of your feelings is feeble and a reflection of your will-power up to this point. However whats done is done, and the past cannot be changed. The future can, and it MUST.

 

No matter, unfortunately the damage has been done when there was no excuse for it and when it didn't have to be, and all i can think about is the well being of his 14 and 8 year old children when this comes to light, and how badly your family will react and treat you. He is no better then you are, but at least show some respect to yourself and stop this since he won't (and he's 40 years old?). The longer you hold, the worse it will get.

[DragonGirl724]

you definitly have to stop having sex with him!!! this is wrong think about his poor children who are old enough to know what sex is and how 'daddy is hurting mommy's feelings' if they ever found out. you want to be the cause of this?? how could u ever think of getting involved??? you want what you cant have, you LUST this man & lust is a deadly sin, you 2 have to not see eachother, this is crazy & youre gonna hurt too many people! sex ruins lives & marriages sometimes dont be the cause of this. dont mess up anythijg any more than the 2 of you already have. it will mentally F up the kids & both of your spouses *significant others* why be with someone if youre going to F around anyway???? i never understood that???

[NinjaLink]

You need to close this "relationship" before it is too late. Things are starting to get serious and even more serious. Things shouldn't of gotten this serious in the first place. The consequences of this continuing is ruining your relationship with your boyfriend/husband, ruining your own life, ruining his life, ruining his inner family, and possibility ruining the whole family or atleast them hating you and him. You even said you don't have a future with what is going on? but if you really think about it, you have a future without him. Trust me, my life is really miserable right now, and this mental place is somewhere you don't want to be at in your life right now.

 

Sit down and talk to him about this and agree to each other that you shouldn't see each other no more. Even if you both are family, avoid him as much as possible and continue with your life. Doing this may cause you to think alot into the point that you have to be honest with your boyfriend and tell him the truth because of inner feelings can bother you. You may risk losing him, but honesty is the key to relationships. Just remember that you have done this to yourself, but you life isn't over. This is a BIG learning experience and make sure you will not stick yourself in this type of situation again. Goodluck with everything.