Learning to trust again

[exhale]

I'm currently back together with my ex-fiance and I'm finding it a challenge to completely trust him again. When our engagement was called off - he called it off - he confided in me that he had once cheated on me in our first year together. Although it had been close to 4 years prior to our engagement, I had a difficult time with knowing this. Now, after a couple of years we have found our way back together again. Although we are both different people now, I still find it difficult to completely trust him. In my mind I wonder if he's cheating on me when I'm not around. I need to learn how to let go of these thoughts. Anyone have any suggestions on how to learn how to trust again?

[kuhl282000]

Hello

 

I'm not sure we learn how to trust. I think it is given from the heart to very special people by us when we open up to them and they come through for us over time. What I do know is we learn how not to trust once the trust is broken.And it is really hard to regain the second time around. Once a person is cheated on I think it doesso much damage to the heart , mind, and soul. That if one is ever to trust that person a second go around. It almost has to come from a higher force greater than ourself. Many people do go back together and make it work. And i think it has to be a mind set of total forgivness. If it were me, I would be inclinded to be following your way of thinking. And that is more than likely why I have never gone back with someone that has cheated on me. And a few have tried. But for whatever reason I could not ever mustard enough courage to ever trust them again. Someone told me once if you are really sincere and want to forgive someone. Then you have to bury the hatchet and not let the handle stick up.When you really read that last statement and think about it. What do you really have to lose. He already lost you once. Sounds to me you still have some of the handle sticking up. My concern is if you don't adjust your mind set, you will end up driving yourself crazy. And you don't need that. As hard as it is the second time around, many people make it back. I consider you to be one of the lucky few. Just something to think about. I wish you guys well ,and good fortune. And tell him he is a lucky person that you have taken him back. You can't live with any peace of mind with your mind set the way it is right now. And you deserve peace of mind. When I get really confused about something, I pray. And funny thing is, wonderful things happen. I can't tell you why, I'm not a church person. But you have to believe in strange forces from above if we believe in love.

 

Treat each other right and love one another

Kuhl

8)

[gizza]

trust is everything , it comes from not haveing to even think about it , the second suspicisions exit trust is gone , . Your lucky that your back together & if that is what you want then you must go 100% into trust mode , if your mind says where is he/she it will eat you up !

 

i know believe me i know !