Why am I creepy?

[Keraron]

Whenever I decide to act spontaneously, follow an idea that came from within, basically when I am "myself", and I try to express it to the outer world, people always end up calling me "creepy".... (or when I tell about what happened, they say that what I did was creepy)

 

I would like to know why I am, and how I can be less creepy...

[Capricorn3]

people always end up calling me "creepy".... (or when I tell about what happened, they say that what I did was creepy)...

Give us some examples of the things you did where people said you were creepy.

[Keraron]

Example 1:

My idea on how to ask out a female friend whom I never had the guts to ask out.

 

The most spontaneous thing I could come up with is to write a letter made of two sheets of paper. On the first one I write how much I appreciate her friendship and everything we have done and gone through together. On the second one I write to her that I think our friendship is special, and that we (/ I) may have been beating about the bush without admitting to each other (/ to her) that we (/ I) actually want a romantic relationship. At the end of the second paper I ask her whether she would like to try being in a relationship with me, be my girlfriend.

I was planning to sit down for a drink or coffee and ask her to read it in front of me, and then tell her to tear the second sheet of paper if she doesn't like it.

I told some of my friends and everyone said it's the creepiest idea I ever had. Yet it's the only one I could come up with.

[dr_styles]

I've found something similar too. My friends will sometimes say fire off random (typically something with a sexual note to it) joke or line in response to something and it seems to work fine. But when I do something similar (and it's not as forced as you might think) it comes off as creepy/weird. On a couple of occasions it's the exact same recurring line sometimes amongst our group of friends.

[Capricorn3]

Ok, I have to admit I would find that rather creepy too (if I put myself in HER shoes). I can't imagine how she would react to that.

 

Simply asking her out to coffee would have sufficed (imo).

[dr_styles]

I'm a guy but if you asked me as a "good mate" what I thought I'd also say creepy ... at least with the way it sounded.

 

In general notes and letters aren't good if you're talking about confessing to liking someone. I used to think they were a plausible idea too, but not anymore.

[Keraron]

So do you all think that "creepy" is merely a description of actions, and not what a person is?

 

Like... am I a creepy person?

[trezz]

i think it is the actions that are creepy thats good because they can be changed

[trezz]

are you trying too hard

[Jpo]

That seems really weird to me. I'm also not sure you understand the definition of spontaneous -- and planning out a whole letter deal is NOT spontaneous. Don't plan anything, spontaneous is doing something at a whim, not stopping to think or figure everything out.

 

In my opinion you completely misunderstood what your friends were getting at. They say be spontaneous, and the first thing you do is plan out this whole big thing on how you will be spontaneous. THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!

 

Why write a letter at all? Just next time you are with her, without thinking, ask her to dinner. Don't work out how or when, don't try to pre-plan the conversation, etc, before you do it. Just do it! Be spontaneous! And then, if it feels right while you are at coffee or whatever, YOU tell her whatever you were going to say to her in a letter.

 

You sound like the type of guy who has to have everything in their life planned out. If you think of something you want to say/do with her while you are together, use the 3 second rule. Act before three seconds goes by. Once it does, then you start over-thinking and planning.

 

 

 

Comedy is a dangerous beast. What you say, or the actual joke is far less important than a few factors: timing, presentation (how you say it), and who your "audience" is/how well your "audience" knows you. I'm guessing the part you are messing up is timing (can make or break you, even if you are just a few seconds off). I'm not sure what to tell you here, it is more of an instinctual thing. For me, it is extremely clear when a window opens and closes for a joke.

 

And by the way, everyone messes up jokes sometimes. You might have the timing and presentation down perfectly, but the people you are with don't know you as well and don't get your sense of humor. Or perhaps don't like that sort of humor. Sometimes people just aren't in a laughing mood.

 

If you say a joke and just get blank stares, make a joke about that. "Well this is awkward, haha." Try to divert the attention off it as fast as possible.