20, never had a girlfriend, still a virgin

[lonelynshy]

Hello PAdreamer. You say that relationships are not what they're cracked up to be. Well,you know that because you've been through them. Even if you're not confident about finding a soulmate,you do know that you CAN attract guys and you ARE able to start a relationship. Us single nice guys don't have that. Firstly,we only learn through experience,not word of mouth. We NEED to go through relationships to see if it is indeed what you described it like. We NEED girlfriends to reassure ourselves that we are capable of attracting AT LEAST one girl out there. Even if it doesn't work out,we can proceed forward with a boost of confidence that SOME girls do appreciate us. Furthermore, guys like us have a harder time because shyness turns off girls. Whereas shyness in girls is very feminine and attracts many men. This despite the fact that a shy man is NOT in any way less manly than confident ones.

[johnagent1911]

The truth is, most people - girls and guys - do prefer to date people in shape, and who take care of themselves. Whether this is shallow or not, I don't know, but it's a fact that the majority of people do tend to place a significant importance on looks. If you are really unhappy with your appearance, why not take up mountain biking, kayaking, or some kind of fun sport if you dread the idea of monotonous work-outs at the gym? It will give you fresh air, you'll get proficiency at a cool sport, and meet new people.

 

After a while, you'll feel better about yourself in general, and the dating thing will all come together. When we are happy, or at least reasonably content with ourselves, other people notice and are drawn to that.

 

Good luck, and never stop trying to push yourself to be the best you can be!

---------

 

This was posted by a lady on the forum.

 

.

[vfunkera]

I think you guys are all right on the spot. 1911 and Caldus, you are both correct.

 

Forget about attracting girls for a second, and instead focus on you, and ways on which improving yourself. Helping yourself gain that confidence and self-esteem.

 

Undoubtedly looks do play a huge factor in the world. You cannot change your genes. Some are lucky to be born so good looking, and some are unlucky.

 

But you can change the way you treat those genes...get a nose job lol (just kidding). Wear nice shirts, smell good, walk with your head up, be proud of you. Get a hair style that suits you and makes you feel good. Good carriage, excellent threads, are the CONSEQUENCE by how you think of yourself, and not just women but people notice this without really realising it.

 

Materialism is not however the crucial point. This kind of behaviour comes along after you have worked on yourself internally, and no one said it was easy. I had to work months on being confident in myself, 2 years ago i used to play nintendo 64, people used to call me ugly and recogned i'd be a virgin until ill be 40 . Since then i've had about 6 girlfriends, gone into modeling and lost my virginity 2 months ago, and it was all down to hard work.

 

Caldus said he wont act like hes got confidence. Good, because i never said you should. You need to 'really' be proud of yourself. You don't have to be an ego-inflated arrogant jerk. Just like who you are, and make sure girls know that. [link removed post should be a very good read for you guys. Like i said in there, by acting the part, your putting on a mask, and sooner or later that mask will come off. Its not about smooth techniques or being a don juan, you've just got to like yourself, and have a posotive outlook on the world. When you do actually like yourself and your not putting it on, the arrogance would be oozing from you trust me on that one.

 

I know it sounds easier then it looks. At the end of the day, you won't find love, love will find you, BUT only if you allow it to. And love will find you more quicker when you make it easy for her to find you, and to do that you need to stop sinking deeper into this hole and start climbing back up. When you start to like yourself, girls and love come along as if its an accessory, and shouldn't be the main objective in your life. By then you should realise that you don't need love and girls to be happy anyway.

 

Im just trying to help guys.

[Shinobie]

Thats just kind of pahetic thinking guys like us havent attracted one girl in our lifetime though.

[PAdreamer]

Well I will say this: You guys are really giving me a different perspective on what men want. I am not used to guys being so open, so thank you for the insight.

I know what you mean about having to learn through experience. I know that my advice and my own life stories won't have much effect on you because I, myself, have to learn by doing. I'm not trying to make some profound difference in your lives, but I do hope that my attitude towards guys can give you hope.

I guess I really must be one in a million, because none of the things that you guys have said that women want matter to me. My boyfriend, who I am completely in love with, has Spina Bifida. He's not what society would label as "handsome". He walks with crutches; he's only 5'4"; the lower half of his body is covered in scars; he can't feel much below his waist. Most people who see him simply don't know how to handle his situation so they just ignore it. But I think he's gorgeous. And I'm not with him because I pity him. They only thing about his situation that I pity is how sore his hands get by the end of the day. The rest of the stuff never bothered me at all.

My point is this: I know that you guys feel like crap. I know how terribly cruel women can be. I don't even LIKE other women! I pretty much can't stand them! I prefer hanging out with the guys! LOL! I know how much pressure gets put on you to initiate relationships and all that, and I'm truly sorry that you are under so much stress because of it. But I promise there are more girls like me than you know. I think if you can just hold on for a while you'll find one!

You all seem pretty darn cool to me! 1911, you're an actor eh? I'm a Director, though I can't seem to get any work aside from helping at my old high school. So props to you for taking the chances! Shinobe, hun... I am sorry that you're upset a lot. Is there anything that makes you REALLY happy? I'm just curious to know ore about all of you! I think you guys would make really great friends! And I know that you'd all be great in relationships. You're honest and I like that! Just keep being yourselves. I know that doesn't seem like great advice, but trust me! It's the best thing that you can do! If you have to change yourself to get someone to like you, they're not the right person for you!

Good luck guys!

[Shinobie]

Nah im really depressed rigt now nothing has been makign me happy.Girls r completely absent in my lif ei like playing computer games to keep my mind off stuff but even though im ok at these game si feel as though i suck at them when i go against these really good people.Family i just saty away from them my mom always gets angry at things i do,sister is messed up.School is a pain all it is the popularity contest betweent he preps.grades have been failing from being unhappy and justs sitting down to play these games to get away from everything.At work nobody seems very nice all that often and thigns like girls get pushed into my face again like whether or not i have a girlfriend and all these stupid jokes about women they say which are usually perverted and they end up getting girls by the week... and the male hormonal obsessive bastards.When im around friends all i here him talk about is how things r with some girls and he is always talking to them.Kind of like when i sit around watching them have fun and stuff while i feel lonely as hell kind of like at the movies a couple weeks ago none of them like me.I just fail as a male and at life.I thought in life ur suppose to be happy every once and a while.But for like the last 2 years of my life the majority of it has been unhappiness i just cant enjoy life at all im pathetic.

[Outlaw2747]

PADreamer, thank you for your support. I really appreciate it. I honestly don't hae women as much as I complain about them but it is just the aspect of dealing with them that stresses me out. I even try not to deal with them as far as relationship wise but I know that will be impossible. I have nothing against girls but they simply rattle my head more than anything (besides racists and extremeists of religion which I DO despise). I have attracted girls in my past but most were for devious reasons. I was a tool. I used to let them walk all over me and once they got whatever they wanted from me, they moved on. And I see it ahppen to alot of guys everyday because I know most of us just cannot resist a damsel in distress. But I am working on my pessimism towards females, it is just going to take a lot of time.

[lonelynshy]

I'm happy to hear about your love for your boyfriend,PAdreamer. I think you laid your finger on another aspect that I'm afraid to reveal to even myself. I'm only 5'5" and I'm sure this plays a major role in turning girls off,especially in group situations where there are giants present (ie: average guys). I thought I was healthy but I've been diagnosed with all sorts of problems because of chronic anxiety(high BP and the like,even though I'm skinny). I'm sure many other guys are in my situation.

 

Speaking for myself,there is only one thing that will help me overcome at least part of my anxiety-and that is to be popular among girls. Even if 20% of all girls liked me,that would be more than enough. (Right now,it's more like 0.000001%). I know that common advice is "you have to be happy with yourself", "you shouldn't be dependent on a girl for happiness" etc,but tell me,how on earth can I be happy with myself when I look at myself- soon to be 20,virgin,never had a real girlfriend and only 5'5"? And then I see all these couples walking around. Sure,many of them end up in breakups but they rise on stepping stones of failure and they have the confidence and experience to start new relationships. If nothing else,they can simply console themselves with the explanation that they didn't meet the 'right girl' yet. I can't do that because NO girl has really liked me,forget about loving me. Am I supposed to go through life looking for a needle in a global haystack? Finding *A* girl is hard enough already,without adding the complications of finding *THE* girl. How can I be happy alone? I can't hug myself,or cuddle myself to sleep,or accompany myself on ski trips and have candle-light dinners with myself. Some people love the freedom of being single but I don't.

 

I'm a university student and I end up spending all my time with my geeky guy friends playing Playstation and having endless debates with them on the pros and cons of being lonely and girlfriendless. I don't drink or smoke,so the bar scene is just out of the question. I'm not the typical geek because I do love to have good,clean fun but the world does not ponder before passing judgement. I'm shy and lonely,so I'm automatically not suitable for a girl. It's a vicious cycle.

 

I'm sorry for the long post.

[Outlaw2747]

SAME SITUATION HERE except I am a whopping 5'4'' and I am in the military! At that I am stationed over here in Korea! And as much as I try to admit to having no problem being single. I know I cannot stand by that. I just want to spend some time with someone, someone I can trust, love, hug, kiss, etc, etc. Is that so much to ask really? I am sorry if I don't look like Usher or Denzel Washington. I am sorry if I don't have muscles like Arnold Schwartzenegger and I am sorry if I don't have eyes or whatever like Brad Pitt. What I do respect is even though I say I am ugly, I do not have to change my appearance for anyone and the qualities I was born with are the qualities I am keeping. It's not like i am walking around trying to get with girls to have sex...that comes later AT HER DISCRETION. For now, settlement, affection, and love is all I desire. Then we give y'all that and we STILL get tossed into the abyss of sorrow. We would at least appreciate some props here for not being the sex crazed idiots y'all think of most of us to be.

[PAdreamer]

I think that the only people who claim to enjoy being single are people who A) are trying to make excuses for giving up on finding the right person for them, and B) who have had bad relationships in the past. The only time I've ever said that I was enjoying being single was after I got dumped by my fiancé without any warning whatsoever. I wasn't mad at him, but I was just ready to take a break from dating for a while. And at just the right time, when I was ready again, I met my current boyfriend.

I know height can play a huge part in whether or not a guy has confidence in himself. For a while I was tall for my age, so none of the guys would approach me because they thought I'd say they were too short. I think that's silly. I mean, I know that a lot of girls would say that they want their guys to be taller than them. I, myself, like the feeling of standing on my tiptoes with my arms wrapped around my guy's neck. But I'm definitely not complaining about height at this point!

I guess I'll just never understand why appearance plays such a huge role in these things. If the person is sweet, loving, sensitive to your needs, cares about you, has a great personality, and you just click... why does it matter if they're a little bit shorter than most people are? I'll just never understand.

[Outlaw2747]

Because there are alot of shallow people in this world, male and female. And quite frankly, those people make me sick and those are either the sadists or the ones who get hurt often. I get hurt simply because my only use to girls is a tool or a temporary relationship just to pass them over until they find something better. Just remember, even if you are with somebody, they will ALWAYS try to find your replacement. May not be the day you hook up but eventually will find your replacement.

[lonelynshy]

Unfortunately it is not just tall girls who prefer tall guys. Most short girls like tall guys too. Cruise through any online personals site and you'll see what I mean. For example,girls who are 5'2" want a guy who is at least 5'8". Given that the average female height is 5'4",there are few who would settle for a 5'5" guy. And of course,the average guy is 5'11" today and I am half a foot shorter. No matter how jauntily and confidently I try to carry myself,my lack of height puts me in horrid day to day situations. For example in my lab classes where we have hands on sessions. There is one professor for 25 students,and I am one of the 2-3 short people (and the ONLY short guy) so we always get left at the back,unable to see or hear what he is saying. We are unable to force ourselves to the front because we just lack the strength and stature to move forward without making a fool of ourselves. It's worse for me,being a guy. I can just read their thoughts ,"look at this hairy little guy squeezing his way in". At the same time,hanging around at the back in despair makes me look like a diffident fool. This is just one example of the situations short guys face. Now it's bad enough in itself,but its worst impact is in damaging our image in women's eyes. Either they totally ignore me (young women) or they feel sorry for me (older women) and help me like I'm a young kid. It's a lose-lose situation. I was deeply hurt when one of my guy friends casually told me that one of my casual female friends was looking for me to borrow my textbook. I asked him what her words were and they were "hey,where's that little guy who hangs around with you?". Another girl at a party called me a short little prick because I was trying to be chatty with her. I'm always the non-alpha dog with its tail between its legs when it comes to society and life.

[Outlaw2747]

I know the feeling all too well. You get tired of it after awhile. I'm used to guys doing it because they are usually stuck-up idiots anyways but when a girl rejects me because of height, it hurts.

 

I liked this girl once and admitted to having a crush on her (she was tall, I say about 5'7 or 5'8, I am 5'4) and she told me that I was a sweetheart and cute and whatnot but she won't go out with me because I AM TOO SHORT. Sick of being mistreated like that and it upsets me.

 

But height isn't the only thing. The fact that I'm not a thug or a bad boy explains why I have spent a lot of my years alone and rejected because girls think that nonsense is "cool" and "sexy". As far as being 20 and a virgin, that didn't bother me too much the fact I first lost my virginity at 19 (a few days short of my 20th birthday) but what does bother me is the fact that girls always compare and discriminate me from all these other guys and quite frankly I am sick of it.

[johnagent1911]

Yeah big surprise here, I'm 5'9. I wish I was taller too; all my friends are of course taller than I am. Sucks because when ever we get together it ALWAYS plays a factor. Height plays a factor every where. Last night I was at a bar with some friends and again all the attention was paid to them, I was okay with it until they really started enjoying talking to them so I kind of felt left out of the social circle and just ended up leaving. I was okay with leaving due to I had class the next morning and I was already tired, but the issue still remained in my head…

 

I started wondering; where are the girls who love life, for life. The ones that love art, the girls who enjoy reading? Ones who care for others in the world? Is this something as humans, we parted away from? Is there a true life long soul-mate? Do they exist?

 

I enjoy simple pleasures of life. Laughing, joking, going out and just having fun. No expectations. This is what I think makes people feel like their alive. This simple pleasure makes us HUMAN and not some creature trying to survive. Men are all too well seen as "pigs". However, I in fact pride myself in achievements. Being the best I can be to everyone. I desire to be better than what I am today. (I've posted about this before.)

 

I wish to find someone just like me, but some times I feel as if that concept is lost among the girls around me. As if many of them have no real core, no soul, and lack passion.

 

All I need is one chance with a great girl but I don't think I'm going to be getting that any time soon. I've been jaded so many times I feel useless when it comes to women. Like no matter what I do/say they will not see any more than as a friend.

 

I'm done with this.

 

.

[Outlaw2747]

Man, I feel your pain so much. There's basically no girls left with that passion. Everything is so materialistic. It is either height, or body shape (like muscles), or money, or nice cars, or just the fact you are hot. Going out with a fun guy is good and all but whatever happened to common interests other than frickin' clubs and bars? What about art like Johnaganet said? Or reading together? Just sitting together and having a person you can talk to about anything, like a best friend but much much more? Everything got to be appearance and nothing more. And when it does come to personality, it is always those which usually possess bad qualities, the "good" that is displayed by the guy is just another way to get into your pants.

 

Then if you do get a lucky, a girl falls for you. But 9/10 she will dump you for something very mediocre, like maybe you don't dress the way she'd like you to all the time, or you don't make enough money for you to buy her things all the time or you don't like her friends because they treat you like a lower lifeform. The worst one of all, because she sin't ready for a relationship she says but drags you along for that little bit misleading you.

 

It is always something and to the other three guys on this post who are suffering, our time will come....mine will come probably just before I die, making it all in vain. Good job to all the thugs and players and stuck up snobs.....you win. Girls are too confusing for me and that special someone is buried way too deep in the pile of good-for-nothings.

[lonelynshy]

I know just what you're talking about. You know,one of my guy friends last year told me to quit whining and hang out with girls. He insisted so much that I decided to give it a try and went to the lounge to hang out. The moment I stepped in,I felt like running away. There were four girls munching on pizza,no guys, and I only knew one of them distantly. And they all looked at me in surprise as if they hadn't expected this insect to crawl in. I said hi to them and made an excuse for being there (that one girl was in my math class and had asked me that morning to tell her about it because she rarely attended). I said I had come with my class notes and she just stared at me like I was crazy and said she didn't want any such thing. I still didn't get the idea. Then the four of them totally ignored me and started talking and arguing among themselves about girly stuff and I felt really weird,even though I had always seen guys dropping in and chatting so I knew it wasn't just the presense of a guy-it was the presense of ME. I just got up and walked out.

 

Man,sometimes I wonder if there are any girls in this world who are worth it.

[Shinobie]

Ya guys i know what you are talkin about but what im going through has been opposite of what u guys r talking bout.My friend is about 5'5 and he has had girlfriend after girlfriend for like the last 5 years probably bout 30.Im bout 6 ft and i have the tallness that u guys wish u had but i never get girlfriends or because imt all or attract any i might add.

[PAdreamer]

Outlaw, what you said about "always looking to replace you"... that's not true. It's not that they are looking for a replacement, it's that they simply decide that they want something else. It doesn't mean that they were looking to get rid of you as fast as they can. It's true, women change their inds CONSTANTLY. Most women can't be satisfied with one type of situation for too long (of course that depends on the situation... does that even make sense?!).

You know, a lot of girls who are looking for the "bad boy" types or whatever... They're just hiding from who they really are. They think that those are the types of guys that will make THEM look cool. They are ebarassed and self-conscious about their appearances or whatever, so they try to hide their supposed flaws by landing the first chump that hits on them. That's why a lot of those relationships have so much drama and end badly. You don't want to be with shallow girls like that anyway. Any person who has to pretend to be someone they're not has serious work to do on themselves.

Let me ask this: If you guys had girlfriends, what types of activities would you do with them? Aaron and I go to parks, or we just go out driving, or cuddle up and watch a movie together. What would you guys be into? Can you tell I'm a curious person? I ask a lot of questions! LOL!

[Outlaw2747]

I like to just relax with my girl, cuddle together, eat together, just talk about life....stuff like that. Hit the movies once in a while, go shopping with her, just someone to spend an intimate moment with basically. Then we can hang out together with friends every once in a while, romantic candle light, relax together outside under the moonlight...stuff like that. Just someone to be happy with. And yet all I get is resistance and rejection. I don't ask for much, I do a little more than what I just listed but those are the basic things.

 

But it won't happen, and if it does it will be pretty short lived. And yes I can tell you are curious....lol.

 

 

Outlaw, what you said about "always looking to replace you"... that's not true. It's not that they are looking for a replacement, it's that they simply decide that they want something else.

 

You basically just reworded my statement. If they want something else (which is ANOTHER guy) they are obviously saving him for a later time, maybe not right away, maybe even a few years, but he is definitely in the hip pocket and will be pulled out when she feels the need. But everything else you have said made complete sense. But yes guys, expect your replacement to come in the near future.....some of you will get off lucky.

[Shidoshi]

Hello everyone,

I'm new to this board (obviously), and I felt compelled to stick my 2 cents in, as I'm also a shy, insecure guy. I'm 25 y/o and have never had sex before because of physical insecurities I have about myself. Its actually pretty late for me to be up so I'll just toss some things out there. Part of the problem with me hooking up with girls comes from the fact that I'm usually attracted to women who are "out of my league." Its like I'm holding out for one of these girls although I'm not really making an attempt to get them. Its strange cause I know I'm not gonna just go up to these girls and ask them out, though in the back of my mind I'm hoping one will just like me. Any of guys have similar issues?

[frail]

I was going to try and hold back from posting tonight. I was just going to read and listen but i just can't help but be amazed on all the different veiws, opnions, and feelings guys (and girls) have on this particualr situation (having trouble finding a mate).

First off guys... I've read alot about height. I don't recall ever hearing girls talk down on a guy for their height. And this is coming from a girl... whom goes out with and girl talks with girls, different kinds. I think you guys are looking in the wrong places. You guys always seem to chase after the wrong type for your type and completely ignore the girls whom are like you. Lets make a scenerio. You go to a club with your buddies. They always go off and find girls to talk to but you always have trouble, the girls you approach blow you off, or they take the time to talk to you but sound unintrested. So you sit down at the table. Looking over at the dance floor. Checking out the girls and sinking into your sorrow that you can't get a chick. Well uhhh.... how about the one over at the table over there sitting by herself. Feeling the same way you are. Do you stop and consider her, she's got time to talk to you, she's sitting there by herself with the same lonely look on her face. But you always seem to overlook them and stare at the perfectly formed female molecules dancing on the floor and wondering why ALL girls wouldn't give you the time of day. And if you do go over to that lonely girl at the table, Please consider that she may be just like you. She may feel a little awkward just like you may feel. So if she acts weird, don't just consider right away that she doesn't like you.

 

Secondly... I've had this thing going on with a guy at work the past couple months. he asked me what i looked for in a guy. I said personality is what's important. He didn't let me get futher then that. He didn't let me say i like "old-fashined guys" who would treat me like a lady (you knwo what i mean). His remark was "Yeah right that's what you all say but it isn't true". So you all refuse to believe that there is some girls out there who aren't that shallow.

 

Well anyways.. this same guy whom i'll refer to as A, i liked. And we went to the movies twice. As friends i guess. Wasn't really sure since i haven't had a guy friend since elementary. Spent several months trying to figure out what this guys deal was. Don't think he is all that experienced with girls. He's quite, shy, and sheltered. Not that experienced when it comes to going places and doing things. And i thought this was great, and if a relationship doesn't come out of it, at least we can be friends and i'll have a buddy to hang with. So what happens? Well a gal at work knew about me liking him. We'll refer to her as G. We went out one night to a club for a co-workers b-day party, A asked me to go with him. So we got there... and G, couldn't believe it, started dancing ALL over A on the dance floor. She wasn't intrested in him. And for geez sakes she got married a few months ago. So just cuz of that, at work he fallows her around like a puppy dog. G wants nothing to do with him, and he always asks her if he could hang out with her but she always gets herself out of letting him come along. I've talked to him after the night at the club because G and i got into a rageing fight, and i stand on my word, a true friend would never do that to another friend, what she did to me. She knew i liked him and she didn't take that into consideration when she was just looking for attention from a guy. Anyways, A had told me he didn't have feelings for me the way i had for him, but he really really wanted to be friends and asked me to call him if i wanted to hang out. I told him to call me instead. In otherwords saying... i'm not chaseing you no more. Besides if i sat there and called, even if he'd ask me too, he may turn around and think i was obsessed with him. So what happens? No calls. He hasn't attempted to further our friendship, although when i talked about going to the waterpark this weekend he seemed to be intrested in inviteing himself so he's have something to do, Darn, i guess G turned him down again huh? Well what do ya know! So he's so obsessed with hanging out with G and chaseing after something he can't have and then when it comes to me... Ah... i don't know. He's a headache. I can't even stand going to work no more and seeing his face. I think i found a nice guy... but he's just blind i guess.

 

So you see... a VERY detailed report on being a shy lonely girl... meeting a shy lonely guy.... who picks the loud-mouthed, outgoing and social, wild and crazy, married girl. Who wants nothing to do with him but have his attention. And he gives it to her. lol. So why do you pick the ones whom aren't intrested and ignore the ones that are, and then complain about not finding a girl. Who is intrested? HELLO!!!!

 

I'm sorry you guys.. i myself have been sheltered and not too many people whom i talk to face to face, give me a chance to talk and share what i feel and what i have to say in these cases so here you guys are, hearing me blab. If you would like to request only 3 lines posts from me, you can. I'm shocked to see guys care so much. It gives me hope actually that i have a chance on finding nice guy...

like you guys.

It's hard, but it's not bad to be nice.

[PAdreamer]

I think I like you, Frail. I think we need to keep you around here so I'm not the only girl speaking out! LOL! Sorry about the guy problem. Men accuse women of being so confusing. I don't see much difference in them! Do you? ;-)

Shinobe, hun... I REALLY need to tell you something, as a friend. PLEASE don't take this the wrong way... but babe, get a life! You are not entitled to sit here and express how much you want a girlfriend and how lonely you are and poor you if you aren't willing to keep trying! Go to a doctor, get some meds, perk up and get out there and try! I know how you feel! I suffer from chronic anxiety and clinical depression. But you can't just expect it to go away, and you can't give up. Your life will only mean something if you get off your butt and TRY! I like you1 I think you're a smart guy with a lot of great things to say! Don't waste those attributes on sitting at your comp feeling sorry for yourself hun!

Did I mention that I invented "tough love"?

[Caldus]

What works for me sometimes when I feel down is just to sit down for a minute and list every single positive thought about myself that I possibly can. Just keep typing and don't worry about spelling or grammar. Don't worry about structure or anything like that. Just type type type. After a few minutes or so look at what you just typed and then you'll realize "oh there's the good stuff about me and dang is that list long!" I was feeling down just a little while ago about something stupid related to this situation and I just did that. Now I feel much better and still confident about the situation.

 

Frail, sorry about us searching for the wrong girls.

 

I've have that in mind in the past. I always figure that the girl that I would finally end up being with would be a little like me and would probably be a little more quiet than most girls. But I seem to be chasing after the wrong girls a lot anyway. Like I met one girl who was really outgoing but she doesn't seem to want to talk to me anymore. Either that or she's too busy to even talk to me even though it's been two weeks since our last conversation. Anyway, good post Frail and I will remember what you said.

[Outlaw2747]

You guys always seem to chase after the wrong type for your type and completely ignore the girls whom are like you.

 

This aspect has now been disproven. I don't constantly go after these superhot, supermodel, superpopular type girls. I have given nearly every type of girl not a second look. Same response. Rejection, used as a tool, or just not interested unless you are hot, tall, or got money and a nice car. In fact, many of the girls I have gone with or have been interested in have similarities to myself like being shy, or they like to read, or we watch the same movies, etc. etc. And I have given girls who are different from me not a second look and still the same thing. Even the shyest girl or the most social girl can be the nastiest and me and the fellas here have seen this first hand.

 

I've read alot about height. I don't recall ever hearing girls talk down on a guy for their height.

 

It's out there. We are not making this up to start a fight or to get a pity party. It's as real as real can get.

 

So why do you pick the ones whom aren't intrested and ignore the ones that are, and then complain about not finding a girl. Who is intrested? HELLO!!!!

 

I don't know about the other guys but as I have stated before, I give all types of girls a chance. Once again, same results apply.....some more extreme than others.

 

Now let's get to the conclusion here. The guy you have described is the nice but obsessed, very insecure type. Not to be confused with your average run-of-the-mill nice guy. If y'all don't know what a true nice guy is then may God have mercy on your soul. In any case, those types are always confused and are mostly wanting a really hot girl that will give them attention (not necessarily sex but that is possible as well). Besides that point, guys are not confusing at all. Most of us straight minded males KNOW what we want out of being with a girl. No offense but MOST girls don't, no matter if they stuck-up, intelligent, shy, etc. A guy either wants one(maybe two things). Could be sex (the type you might want to avoid), could be a relationship, could be someone to chill with, could be anything! Well that is all I'd like to explain at the moment....just simple clarifications of the matters at hand. And yes...nice guys (insecure or not) finish last.

[lonelynshy]

Huh??? I totally disagree with you girls,sorry. I have NEVER intentionally chased the supermodel 'female molecules' or the flirty,shallow types. They don't even figure in what we guys are complaining about. Please don't accuse us of being as confusing and shallow as the girls we accuse of being,because we are not. In fact I have made it a point to seek out and chat with girls who look lonely,shy and left out. Guess what? It DOESN'T WORK. There was one girl in my cafeteria who seemed very shy and hardly talked to anyone else,so I started saying hi to her. She began sitting down at my table regularly after that. Well,I was pretty delighted. I thought that things were now going my way. On Valentine's Day,I decided to risk it all-I asked her out. She refused and said she had a boyfriend back home and that she sat with me only because I was so friendly and didn't seem the type to attack a lonely girl. In effect,she used me as a buffer against other guys. I'm fed up of hypocrisy among girls-they just don't care for guys' feelings.